Archive | October, 2011

A Royal Halloween

30 Oct

Happy Halloween! Tell me you recognize that famous engagement ring from my picture!! For those of you who don’t follow the British Monarchy as closely as I do, that is Kate Middleton’s ring, formally Princess Diana’s ring. The most popular wedding to watch this year had to have been Prince William finally marrying his longtime love, Waity Katy…oops…I mean, Catherine Middleton, the couple who are now known as The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. My friend and I were so very excited about these royal nuptials that we threw a royal wedding watching party complete with tiaras and treat bags.

And you might think that my own Scottish was just as excited about this event being that these people are actually his royal family, but no, the Scots in general don’t particularly like the English people. The reasons for this are not worth getting into now, but suffice it to say, my Scottish was not into this wedding mostly because it was a wedding, and secondly because it was about the royal family who he has little to no interest in.

So when Halloween came around this year I decided that we should dress up as some sort of famous couple. Insert the brilliant idea of being William and Kate. I started by buying a knock-off version of the ring at Claire’s for 11 dollars. Not my taste in a ring but I’d be lying if I said I never sat around my house wearing it just for fun. Then I found a slightly too dark but still appropriate brunette wig at a wig store one Saturday afternoon. After that, all that was left to buy was the blue engagement dress that Kate wore when they announced their big news. Well, the Scottish and I tried thrift and consignment stores but we soon discovered that we are too snotty to shop at them. I mean, I love a good deal, but I don’t have the time to thumb through rack after rack in search of the perfect item. Luckily, I ended up finding a bright blue dress with sleeves and a v-neck at Marshalls and almost died with excitement. Not only was it pretty similar to her dress, but the dress was a size FOUR. This is exciting because while I am attractive, curvy, and normally a size 8 or 10, I am NEVER a size FOUR. Not only does it fit, but my boobs look amazing in it and there is a wonderful lack of back fat (the worst of all the types of fats in all the world).

When approaching the Scottish about this awesome Halloween costume he informed me he didn’t want to pretend to be an Englishman all night, and I said, “fair enough.” He also told me he’d rather go as Mayhem from those Allstate commercials. “But you’d be perfect for Prince William!” I say. “You’re cute, tall, skinny, AND your hair is thinning like his, it’s great!!” Now most people cringe when I talk about the Scottish’s thinning hair, but he laughs. Guys in the UK seem to lose their hair at a younger age and who cares, I still think my Scottish and Prince William are adorable. Ultimately the only way I was able to convince him was to say, “You don’t have to buy anything for this costume, you can just wear a suit, and I guess you can keep your own Scottish accent all night.”

The Scottish agreed and I think we ended up looking great. I was very pleased with how it all came together. But for weeks leading up to Halloween weekend, the Scottish was frequently asked about his costume. One guy at work asked him, “So what are you going to be this year?” The Scottish said, “Well, Stephanie is going as Kate Middleton, so what do you think that makes me?” And his friend replied, “Whipped?” 🙂

Quote: “Even so long after ‘Charles ‘n’ Diana’ was exposed as a sham act, Britain is still in thrall to a vulgar fascination with bloodlines and a barkingly insane notion of monarchy.” Writer Will Self.

PS did you and your partner/friend dress up together in a famous duo this year? Do share! 🙂


The “Wild Ride of Humanity”

26 Oct

I am LAME. I will be the first to admit that. It’s actually slightly embarrassing but not so embarrassing that I have to lie about it, because frankly, it’s part of what makes me unique. And I will be the first to admit my lameness. I have no desire to do any of the following things: bungee jump, skydive, parasail, climb a mountain, jump off a cliff, go backpacking, ride a motorcycle, ski, or snowboard. I don’t even want to go for a regular bike ride, snorkel, or get a tattoo. See what I mean? Who doesn’t love a good bike ride? I haven’t been on one since I was 13 and it’s all for the best.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have done some cool stuff in my life. For instance, I’ve whitewater rafted in level 5 rapids (twice) and that was pretty thrilling. After high school, I went to an out-of-state college where I knew no one and had to make all new friends; now that is terrifying! I’ve ridden a horse, I’ve attempted to drive a stick shift car, and every summer I go camping with my family. I may sleep in the pop-up tent camper (which is well off the ground), but I still have to walk to the bathroom…with a flashlight…in the dark. So it’s not as if I’m a total wuss, I just didn’t get that “adventurous spirit” everyone talks about. Instead, I got the “people spirit.” And yes, I just made that up, but it’s completely true. I’m an observer of humanity. I hate small talk but I love hearing everyone’s life story. I’m as curious as I am nosy. I want to understand why some relationships work and some don’t. I want to understand what makes your family unique and why your culture is important to you. I want to discover new passions and new inspirations. I was always the one grand kid in the family who would stay in the kitchen and chat with Grandma while everyone else was outside sledding and building snowmen. Maybe I missed out on all the fun, but I also heard the best stories of Grandma’s life growing up with an alcoholic mother, how she went to live with her grandparents in North Dakota at age 6, and how she first met my Grandfather.

I really believe there is something special about everyone. I guess I’m like Oprah except without my own network and connections to Rosie O’Donnell. And hands down, my favorite thing to learn about someone is definitely their religion. I get really excited when someone says something about their church or place of worship and then I start asking a ton of questions and probably overstep my boundaries in the process. No, I’m not going to expound on my personal thoughts surrounding this controversial topic, but I will say that I love how a person’s relationship or lack of relationship with religion explains so much about who they are, their past, how they were raised, and who they want to be in the future. I have close friends who are Jehovah’s Witnesses, I have met many people who identify as Mormons, I’ve visited a mosque, I’ve dated a few Catholics, a ton of my actor buddies are Jewish, I was raised Congregationalist, attended a UCC church in college, and currently attend a Methodist church. And there is only one thing that can be threaded throughout each of these religions, and that is love.

I also know a lot of lovely people who don’t practice any religion and that’s OK too because those people share the same feelings on love that I do. My Scottish is what you would call an Agnostic. I call him someone who needs proof of everything!! 🙂 But his morals match my morals and that’s all that matters. So I might never want to go parasailing (Seriously, because on this one show called, “Fatal Honeymoons,” this couple died while parasailing and now I’m wicked scared of it), and I may never swim with sharks or participate in a triathlon, but I will most certainly NOT have a boring life. There are too many amazing and wonderful people left to discover… and annoy with my questions. I call it the “Wild Ride of Humanity.” And this way I never have to get my nose pierced. Ever.

Quote: “I am always most religious upon a sunshiny day.” Lord Byron

Princess Spice and her travel anxiety

24 Oct

Sometimes you just need to get away!  And sometimes you need to get away with your girlfriends.  This past Saturday I went to Michigan with a few of my girlfriends and we had a fabulous time. We were gone for a total of about 24 hours but hey, it was an awesome mini escape from our beloved Chi-town.  The weekend included three wineries, a picnic, the beach, boutique shopping, dinner, and a hot tub.  YES PLEASE.

And it was drama free which is awesome because with girls that’s not always the case.  My group of girlfriends and I are all very different.  We’re like the Spice Girls (ps I love the Spice Girls) because we each represent a different personality type and somehow we make it all work.  I would definitely be considered the “Princess Spice” of the group for a few reasons.  1) I cry at the end of almost every movie. 2) I like to pamper myself. 3) I whine…a lot. 4) And I’m slightly high-maintenance.  Yes, I’m sticking with slightly.

And as “Princess Spice” I am a BIG fan of girl time get-a-ways.  However, I am not quite as big a fan of traveling in general. In fact I usually make quite the annoying travel companion.
1. I get packing anxiety which leads to chronic over-packing.  I did well on this Michigan trip because it was only 24 hours, but anything over two nights and I just freak out. WHAT IF I NEED THAT ONE ITEM I LEFT AT HOME?
2. I always get the sudden urge to CLEAN before I leave the house on a vacation.  My mom always told me it’s better to come home to a clean house than a dirty one, and boy oh boy did I take that to heart!  Now, the dishes must be done, the trash taken out, the bed made, the floor swept, the remotes lined up, the couch pillows fluffed, and the list goes on.  I should mention that because of my cleaning OCD my house is never even that messy, and so it’s understandable why the Scottish has started to get annoyed with this last-minute cleaning craziness.  But that just means I now clean on the sly.
3. I tend to travel ugly.  Yes, ugly.  My lovely (bratty) sister was the first person to help me realize this years ago on one of our many family vacations camping out west, and now it’s become a thing in the family.  When I travel, for some reason my make-up disintegrates, my hair gets matted, my face goes pale, my clothes get rumpled and I get just end looking like a hot mess minus the hot part.  I WISH I were kidding.
4.  I have the bladder of a mouse.  I’m always needing the toilet and bathroom breaks are imperative to a happy me.  My sister thinks you can’t stop if the trip is anything less than 4 hours.  Impossible!
5.  I’m a light sleeper and I wake up FREQUENTLY throughout the night which means I’m a pain in the ass to sleep with.  I move, I shift, I roll, and I get up to pee.  Trust me, it’s like sleeping with a three-year old.
6. I’m a morning person..thank you mother for that one.  And morning people get a bad rap on group vacations.  We are the ones who get up to our alarm clock the first time it goes off, and we’re the ones who enjoy happy chatting even if everyone else answers us in grunts.  We also ask annoying questions that have no relevancy to the getting ready process, such as, “What was the name of the first winery we went to again?” and “What time should we eat dinner?”

Now I’m not all bad!!  I do have a few good travel traits that I can be proud of… like I’m easily excited and excited people make trips more fun.  Plus, I’m really good at initiating interesting (and sexy) conversation topics.  And I’m sure I have other good travel qualities but those will have to wait because my next trip is coming up very soon.  It’s called “Work” and it starts at 7:30 in the morning so I better get packin.

Quote: “Something that involves travel, that is all I ever wanted to do. I want to be a professional ‘vacationist.'”  Alison Armitrage

“I don’t call boys, boys call me.”

21 Oct

Yes, this is the last phrase I left the Scottish with that fateful night when we first met.  I gave him my number and said, “I don’t call boys, boys call me.”  I later found out that was a very rude thing to say and my friends and the Scottish thought I was being snotty.  What I meant was, “I’m too nervous to call you so would you please call me, like, be old-fashioned about it, you know?”  But instead I was a snot.  That does happen to me…too frequently I suppose.

But I digress, the story ended like that but it started….can you guess where?  We met on a plane, no wait, we met on a train, no that’s not it either….we met in a BAR.  SHOCK, HORROR!!  Ok, it’s not that shocking really, especially if you’re a normal person.  But if you’re me it’s super weird!  I consider myself not normal because I have this phobia of throwing up which has prevented me from excessive drinking throughout the years and then once I graduated college I started drinking wine almost exclusively, so now I’m just a big lame-O.  But if you know anything about me you know I don’t like bars!  They are loud, sweaty, crowded, and you have to wait for everything…food, drinks, the bathroom, etc.  So even though most people go to bars to meet people, I just didn’t do that.  And frankly, why would I want to meet some big drinker if I’m not a big drinker?!?!?  Well, let me just say, God has a great sense of humor. Anyway, I went to the bar that night because the cute guy in my show was having a birthday party there.  I grabbed a girlfriend and off we went.  As I walked up to the stairs to the private party area, I noticed there were tons of men everywhere!  Great, I thought.  Then my friend and I sat down across from three guys and they started chatting with us, and lo and behold, they had accents!!  Now, I really don’t faint over accents the way some girls do, I mean come on, I’m an actor, I can replicate almost any accent (I have surprising difficulty with Scottish accents though), and so even though I wasn’t swooning, I was very interested in this gaggle of Scottish men.

Turns out they were from Scotland!  🙂  They were all over here on work Visas and they were all super smart- a big plus in my book.  And there was one guy in particular who was really fun to talk to, yes, it was my Scottish.  He had this great smile and he really seemed interested in what I was saying (or he thought I was hot), but we had a great time chatting all night and he brought me waters and he was just adorable.  I knew he was into me because he kept asking about my show and he said he’d like to come see it sometime.  BINGO.  When you’re an actor and a guy is into you they feign interest in wanting to see you perform…whether they really care to see your show or not, it’s always been a tell-tale sign for me.

But then, his friends started to disappear and all of a sudden I couldn’t find him.  Cut to: we’re all outside in front of the bar preparing to leave, and my tall skinny Scottish man finally reappears.  Meanwhile, his friends are trying to get me to talk to this other guy, but I quickly dismiss him and smoothly walk over to my Scottish.  He mentions again that he’d like to see my show, I say, “Sure, I’ll give you my number.”  Then he gives me his number, and I say, “I don’t call boys, boys call me.”  1.5 days later I get a text asking me how my Thanksgiving was (we met the night before), and a few texts later he asks me out.  Don’t worry, he did call me the next morning to set up the date and confirm where we were meeting (downtown in front of Nordstrom).  Later he told me he was hoping he remembered what I looked like (the Scottish does like to drink), and I was hoping he wasn’t a weirdo.  We spent the whole day together shopping, walking, eating, and talking.  It was a lovely first date.  And it all started in a bar.  (groan)

Quote:  A pick-up line I would appreciate: ” Can I buy you a drink – or would you just prefer the five bucks?”

The beginning

19 Oct

Hello! And welcome to my first blog entry ever (so exciting)!! I feel like it’s the start of a new journey for me, and I would like to share that journey with you. It’s like I’m on the cusp of something new, standing still, waiting for my next path. I’ve been a nanny to two amazing kids for 4 years now and I know that they aren’t going to to need me forever. I’m a trained actor trying to make an artistic life for myself in Chicago with the minimal free time that I have. And I’ve recently decided that this writing bug is more of a writing passion and while starting a personal memoir at age 22 was helpful for awhile, it’s time to share my thoughts with others. I’ve also been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now and it’s definitely going towards “the future.” And then there’s all of my amazing girlfriends (in this state and in other states) that I want to spend time with, yes I said girlfriends for a reason- I don’t make friends with straight men, odd but true. Straight men either want to sleep with me or they get annoyed by me, not much middle ground. Gay men on the other hand, find me funny, and women, well, I can just relate to them better. We all have periods and emotions and selfish whiny tendencies and we like to shop, and it just works. Oh, and did I mention I bought a studio condo back in July of 2009 when the government was giving 8,000 dollars to first-time home buyers (I love you Obama!)? Well, I did, and let’s just say, that takes lots of work and lots of money. And this past August, my boyfriend, who I shall refer to as “the Scottish,” found this great rental apartment, and. it’s been fun and challenging as we make it our temporary home. I don’t live with him full time, but I basically live with him  50% of the time and I live in my studio 50% of the time. (Well, let’s be honest, it’s more like 75/25, but hey, I love him.)

Ten things that are somewhat interesting about me:

  1. I’m a natural blonde. It’s rare and it’s real. Don’t ever call me a “dishwater blonde,” and we’ll get along just fine.
  2. I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, I pray, and I go to church. God is love. Try it sometime.
  3. I am obsessed with the TV channel TLC. I am an over-sharer myself and I love all of their controversial reality families. I especially love The Little Couple and Sister Wives. And I can’t get enough of their wedding shows. Yum.
  4. I’ve struggled with my skin (acne) since I was a 5th grader, and I’m just recently starting to love my face. But those years of wearing make-up all the time when I was young have stuck with me and I still don’t leave the house without it.
  5. I can’t stand narrow-mindedness and people who judge others, especially when it comes to the GLBT community. Who are we to deny others’ love? We are all imperfect human beings. My advice to conservatives…go “fix” your own problems because harassing gay people and fighting legislation that lets homosexuals marry is not worth your time. You’ve got bigger issues, trust me.
  6. My parents are still married. They fight like normal couples but they’re still happy and it’s one of the best gifts they’ve given me.
  7. I used to think there was a witch in my basement when I was little, and I would turn off the light and run up the stairs as fast as I could so she couldn’t catch me. 🙂
  8. I didn’t have a passport until I met my Scottish boyfriend. And I don’t travel very much, partly due to money, partly due to packing anxiety.
  9. I’d rather get a pedicure than a haircut, because I love pedicures and I hate haircuts!
  10. I was born in Grand Forks, North Dakota. It’s not the most exciting place, but North Dakota is one of the few places in the world where I feel the most content.

The reason I love live theatre is because it’s such a beautiful way for people to relate to one another. It’s a portrayal of humanity and no matter our background or our culture we all have things in common. Hopefully you can find reasons to relate to me, or to laugh with me, or even to disagree with me. And since I’m obsessed with quotes, I plan to close every blog entry with one.

” Be faithful to that which exists within yourself. ” Andre Gide

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