Why do I look so fat in pictures?

8 Jan

I am sincerely interested in this, why, oh why do I look so fat in pictures? It couldn’t possibly be because I’m fat. I like my body. I’ve always enjoyed having curves, big boobs, big butt, no problem. I’d rather not be a stick and overall I’m generally pleased with my reflection in the mirror. But in pictures I am some mammoth beast woman with a puffy face, a wide torso and the flabbiest arms I’ve ever seen. WHO IS THAT GIRL?!?!?! Therefore, due to the unfortunate circumstances of me being a fatso in pictures, (and because my tummy does sometimes bulge out over my jeans) I have decided to join Weight Watchers. Insert applause here.

I am doing online Weight Watchers and I’m very happy to report that it’s going swimmingly well. Yes, I can safely say that since 9:30 AM this morning (when I joined) I have been completely successful. And I’d also like to report that I’m STARVING. I haven’t had any dessert yet today and there is nothing I love more than a good cookie, cake, or bowl of ice cream. I know that with WW (Weight Watchers) you can eat whatever you want but now that I know how many points my favorite foods are, I’m starting to feel awful. And at the same time I’m doing my best to keep my head in the game, by picturing my body nice and thin, my jeans so loose I’m forced by new clothes, and how beautiful I’m going to look in my gorgeous dress come April at my friend’s wedding.

The key is portion control. I get that. But my idea of a small bowl of cereal looks like a giant-sized portion compared to what Weight Watchers deems a serving size. Sigh. And it doesn’t help that the Scottish is the thinnest man in the world who survives solely on carbs and red meat and barely eats any vegetables. NOT FAIR. The good thing about dating skinny men is that they can become constant motivation for you to keep yourself in shape. My grandma still laments how grandpa can eat whatever he wants whenever he wants and doesn’t gain a thing, but she has to watch her food intake closely.

Soooo, WW, when do I start seeing results? At this point, I’d be content to lose the cookies and fast food weight I gained over the holidays. I’m only 13 lbs above the healthy range for my height and while I love full disclosure in blogging, I’m not quite comfortable in sharing my current or ideal weight yet. Once the pounds start falling off me, I’ll probably be more candid in my results. Right now, I’m just trying to get through pasta dinner with the girls tonight without going over my remaining 13 points. It’s like my own tragic video game, but instead of dying when you run out of points, with WW the only thing you have to deal with is self-loathing and knowing you’re a failure. HA.

Alright, I’m off to eat a zero-point apple for a snack. This is going to be a loooooong week.

Wednesday’s post is going to be all about virginity, so get ready. Questions and ideas welcome! And also if you’ve had success on WW, pass on the hope!!! 🙂

Quote: “More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.” John Kenneth Galbraith

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9 Responses to “Why do I look so fat in pictures?”

  1. Shanna hansen January 8, 2012 at 4:16 PM #

    Hey steph! My coworker and his wife both lost 70-80lbs this past year on WW! Congrats on your first step remember to give yourself a cheat day every once in a while.

    • Stephanie January 8, 2012 at 4:18 PM #

      Wow, that’s amazing! I feel like WW has the most success stories so I’m getting pumped! I will definitely remember to cheat, haha. 🙂

  2. Matt January 8, 2012 at 4:40 PM #

    Amber was making all these zerbert noises and saying “back fat” when we were looking at wedding pictures. It got to be quite annoying. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Do you look like Hey! Kool Aid? No. Eat a burger, you’re fine the way you are … that’s what I say.

    … and to raise your self-esteem, Limesand, you can ask my man-wife Teddy Jay, and he will tell you I said this in our conversations …

    Matt: “Theodore, you know who’s one of the hotter church folk?”

    Theodore: “Who honey?”

    Matt: “That Stephanie Limesand … well, relative to Amber, whom is the standard I compare all women too.”

    • Stephanie January 8, 2012 at 5:04 PM #

      So many replies necessary…
      1. ahahaha “back fat” as I like to say is the worst of all the fats!
      2. I love that you compare all women to Amber, it’s so damn cute
      3. awwww, I’m flattered, thank you!
      4. yessss, top five baby!
      5. yea, i was just telling Amber today at church how much i hate working out. argh!
      6. thanks for sharing, you rock.

  3. Matt January 8, 2012 at 4:42 PM #

    Not only that … you’re like in the top 5 of the eligible single girls of the church folk … and by eligible, I mean that in a legal sense, even though you’re taken. BING!

  4. Matt January 8, 2012 at 4:43 PM #

    But let’s talk dubdub … Charles Barkley is on it, and he’s a big man … he lost 35lbs! As always, the key to shedding the lbs, as much as you don’t want to hear it is cardiovascular fitness. That’s the shitty part. Why do you think I’m still fat? I eat like a healthfood God!

  5. Candie ODell January 9, 2012 at 5:40 PM #

    I’ve been on plan many times over the years and have been extremely successful when I’m actually following. I’ve been paying for etools the past year and not actually following so I decided to go back to meetings and stop lying to myself. I highly recommend going to meetings, they really keep you accountable. I went back to meetings this week and so far (you know the 1 day, I’m doing awesome)

    tips: if you’re hungry, eat fruit or veggies. 0 point soup is your friend, and so is water. Drink water if you’re hungry and then wait 10 minutes, if you’re still hungry then you were actually hungry and not just bored.

    Since I’m vegan, I’m doing simply-filling, and not counting, but I know “plan” backward and forwards, if you need any other tips.

    • Stephanie January 11, 2012 at 1:45 PM #

      thanks for all the tips candie, I appreciate it!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Kit Kats « Drama happens - August 1, 2012

    […] people find this blog daily, because as it turns out I’m not alone in my daily fear of looking so fat in […]

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