What is something that gets me into trouble every time I do it?

15 Jan

COMPARING!! I compare and I contrast and then I get hurt. Everyone warns me in my acting life, my personal life, and everyday life, do NOT compare yourself to others, it only leads to icky and envious thoughts. So I can’t think of a better topic to blog about than COMPARING. My sister and her boyfriend were in town visiting the Scottish and I this weekend. We had an amazing time making sushi, visiting Willis tower, watching live Blues music, eating out, and staying in. While they were here I asked their permission to write a blog about our relationships. This stinks of disaster, does it not? It might stink but that’s precisely why you should keep reading. There is no room for that “every couple is unique and special in their own way” crap, we’re just gonna lay it all out there and see what happens.

For the purposes of this blog, I will refer to my sister as Sister and to her boyfriend as SBF or Sister’s Boyfriend. And of course the Scottish is my boyfriend, and I’ll be known as I, me, Stephanie, or crazy-pants Nini. We will begin by comparing the women to the women, the men to the men, and then contrasting why, on paper, the Scottish fits better with Sister, and why SBF should really be with me.

For starters, it has to be said that my sister and I are literally the same person. LITERALLY. And kudos to us for finding men who not only put up with us, but like us sometimes too! We are similar in the way we talk to our men because we expect perfection and we have a nice little tone that we use which has been passed down to us from our mother which in turn was passed down from her mother. The women on my mom’s side are the leaders of their families and we tend to gravitate to men that are relaxed, calm, understanding, and a little bit lazy. Both SBF and the Scottish fit the bill perfectly. Sister and I are also similar in that we have no freakin clue how to relax. We spend our “vacations” visiting family and friends, cleaning the house, and getting shit done, while SBF and the Scottish could lay in front of the TV for days. We do not get this, because growing up, our family went camping. Camping is not sit-on-a-beach-relaxing, it’s packing, driving, setting up camp, starting a fire, cooking a meal, walking half a mile to the bathroom, taking down camp, and driving somewhere new to do it all over again. Now we loved our family vacations growing up but we use the term “vacation” loosely and because of this and the fact that our mother has difficulty sitting still as well, we tend to be on the go, all the time. That said, both Sister and I are dedicated to our life’s work, Sister is an amazing teacher, and I would call myself a very passionate artist of many trades. We both loves games, shopping, and annoying each other.

But SBF and the Scottish are very similar too, as mentioned before they both like to chill-out; they both like video games and sleep. They love exciting things that give Sister and I tummy aches, such as theme park rides and sky diving. They both love music, jokes, and sushi, and they both know how to say the wrong the thing at the wrong time. I have to say, it’s so nice to be able to spend a whole weekend together and know that our guys not only get along with each other, but are becoming friends too. Win win.

Now why on earth would I say that we are better off with each other’s partners? I must really be crazy-pants Nini!! But look, Sister has LIVED in England for a whole year, OK? She gets the UK, she loves to travel and the thought of flying back yearly and getting to explore more the world excites her! Then there’s me, who didn’t even own a passport when she met the Scottish and who saw very little reason to travel outside of the US. Of course I’m a changed woman now, but back in the day, we all thought Sister would come home with an Englishman, and she has even said to me once, “I’m supposed to be the one with the UK boyfriend!” But instead she found her wonderful, SBF, who is a great guy, a guy who plays guitar and sings live in front of audiences, similar to what I do when I perform in a play. He’s an artist and he gets what it’s like to do something you love just because you love it, but for little to no money, and he can relate to that feeling of rejection that comes solely with being a performer. Sister and the Scottish don’t get that.

Then we have the drinking issue. SBF doesn’t drink which is a perfect match for me, the non-drinker drinker!! SBF used to drink in the past but it made him really sick and doctors advised him to give it up, so he did. Sister enjoys her drink every once in a while and finds humor in drunk people, I on the other hand, really dislike being around drunk people for fear of them puking, and what did I find? A Scottish man who can drink any American under the table and says sometimes you just gotta puke cause it makes you feel better.

And don’t even get me started on the ring thing. So, Sister and SBF are talking about the future and marriage someday too like the Scottish and I, but the discussion of rings came up this weekend, and SBF wants to know what my Sister wants, but she wants to be old-fashioned and not help him pick it out or give him any ideas. Then there’s me, who would love to help the Scottish pick out a ring, (then maybe I can stop having these nightmares where I dream he buys me a large opal instead of a diamond and I’m forced to pretend I like it), but he refuses to have any help from me and keeps it a hush-hush secret.

SBF and I are your standard, run-of-the-mill romantics, and my Sister and the Scottish are your classic down-to-earth realists. I could go on, but you get the point. It’s funny, right?

I suppose this is the time for the hokey comment about how our differences only make our relationships stronger and we have nothing to gain by comparing… unfortunately that sounds like a real yawn-fest so I’d rather not tie up the loose ends. But I will say that I have the best partner possible for me and Sister has the best partner possible for her, and that’s all the explanation you need.

I do feel the need to say that my little Sister and I are super competitive when it comes to life and sometimes that really sucks. I feel like we know how to be caring and sympathetic to our friends, but we are so hard on each other. We have a lot of really big things coming up in life: weddings, babies, and houses to name a few hot topics. And we are very excited at the thought of doing all those things together. We also know that everything will come at a different time for each of us and that’s OK. I know that I will be so excited for all of her big news, and she will be excited for mine. If I’m being perfectly honest, when I think about her doing stuff FIRST, BEFORE me, I get frustrated, but when I think about her not being in the loving relationship she’s in right now, I feel devastated. Her happiness is one of the most important things in my life. Because she’s my Sister.

Quote: “I’m at peace with myself and where I am. In the past, I was always looking to see how everybody else was doing. I wasn’t competitive, I was comparative. I just wanted to be where everybody else was.” Courteney Cox

2 Responses to “What is something that gets me into trouble every time I do it?”

  1. MOM January 17, 2012 at 5:20 PM #

    Stephanie Lynn!! This is your mother!! You have my tone— hope you can break it with your future children—GOOD LUCK!!! Great blog!!

    • Stephanie January 17, 2012 at 8:57 PM #

      haha, Hi mom, I know who you are!! thanks, I’ll do my best. And yay for your first comment!! 🙂

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