Archive | March, 2012

Like, DUH!

30 Mar

These are the things I think about prior to leaving the country:

1. I’m really excited. I get to see my favorite person in a few days!
2. Will I find the energy to clean the bathrooms before I leave so I can come home to a clean house?
3. Cookies to eat on the flight? Check.
4. How the HECK are we going to locate a weaver and order a custom-made kilt in one week’s time? I don’t even know where to begin. Is this even possible?
5. I can’t wait to spend time with my future-in-laws.
6. I should really start packing.
7. But I hate packing.
8. Do I have enough candy for the long flight? Yes. Good.
9. What coat do I bring?
10. I can’t wait to use my new KATE SPADE passport holder I received as an engagement gift from my lovely friend. SH!$!!! Where is my actual passport? Oh really? I never tried to locate it once I knew I was going across the pond? Where is it? *GASP,* it’s at my condo of course! The last time I used it was last June and it’s still there but all of my stuff is here in the apartment (on the other side of the city) and my car is not with me! Stephanie, you are leaving the country. YOU NEED YOUR PASSPORT. THE SCOTTISH HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT HIS VISA AND PASSPORT FOR OVER A WEEK, GET IT TOGETHER. GO TO YOUR CONDO AND GET YOUR PASSPORT.
11. I still hate packing, I guess I’ll write a blog post.
12. Who can I pay to pack for me?
13. I’ll just throw out everything in the fridge that could possibly go bad so I don’t have to come home to a nasty smell.

NOTE: I did retrieve my passport (thankyoubosslady) and I am all set and ready to go to Scotland tomorrow (minus the packing of course)! Hoping I can update from there otherwise pics will be posted after I get back!!

photo courtesy of http://www.bridefinds.com

Quote: “I was just totally clueless.” Cher Horowitz, Clueless

Male? Yes please.

25 Mar

Am I the only female who PREFERS male doctors to female doctors? Because if so, the rest of you ladies are missing out, in my humble opinion. You see, going to a dude is way better. This applies to not only your gynecologist, but also your dentist, and even stretches to encompass your massage therapist. While I’m a HUGE fan of women in so many other professions (CEO’s, Pastors, grocery store clerks, lawyers, nail salon technicians) and while I prefer them as friends (sorry boys, some of you don’t get me!), I will always choose a male doctor over a female and I’ll tell ya why.

DISCLAIMER: Before anyone tells me how WONDERFUL their female doctor is please let me say this: Below you will find a humorous blog post. This is funny, (you can laugh,) and you don’t have to be offended because while I make a large sweeping generalization here, I too know great female doctors! I also know great female massage therapists, physical therapists, etc. So if you feel something different, no sweat off my blog’s brow.

photo courtesy of istockphoto.com

1. Male doctors are considerably more gentle and kind. I feel like women go harder on other women because heck, they GET IT, they are probably dealing with similar issues, and they don’t take pity on you but instead tell you to buck up. When your stomach is covered in unexplained hives (last year was bad for me), all you want is a little compassion! A guy, he just nods, listens, and at least outwardly appears to care.

2. Guys know how to make me laugh. Maybe it’s their voice or their jokes, but when I giggle I feel more at ease, and I just find a man’s relaxing and jovial presence just what I need while sitting on a cold sterile table surrounded in bad lighting. Case in point, the female doctor I have right now has YET to make me laugh or even crack a real smile- it’s been over 2 years.

3. If a male is doing your pesky one-time-a-year-ladies-exam, they are usually required to have another women in the room. This woman will hold your hand and distract you with friendly banter. This is especially great when it’s your FIRST TIME. (True story: Stephanie getting her first women parts exam circa 2002, male doctor, he still works with her family today, great guy)

4. As the patient, you get to do most of the talking. Do I even need to explain this? Women talk…. a lot. Guys are used to this. Long time ago, I had this physical therapist lady who kept cutting me off to explain stupid nonrelevant things and rushed me to get to the point, “Umm, everything I’m saying is leading up to my point, and aren’t I paying you to listen?”

5. Women are great at nagging aren’t they? I feel like every time I get a massage by a woman, (and I usually only get 2-3 a year and most of those come in the form of gifts mind you) but every time I see a woman she gives me a huge guilt trip about not coming often enough, explains how tense I am, and makes me feel bad that I’m not paying for the hour-long massages because that’s what my tense and broken body needs. (WELL, for one thing lady, my massage might be a bit more relaxing without all the nagging!!) But just last week I had a male massage therapist who was awesome, and there was no nagging, no guilt trip, and a fair amount of giggling. I might have a slight crush now. It’s ok, the Scottish doesn’t mind. 🙂

Quote: “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.” Attributed to both Marion Smith and Nicole Hollander

Bye Bye Bridal Banter

21 Mar

After a LOT of thought, I have decided to go back to the way things were with “Drama Happens” and start a separate wedding blog. It just feels too overwhelming and too restrictive (all at the same time!) to write about my wedding on my Relationship/Life blog. Those interested in the wedding talk aren’t getting enough of the good stuff, and those uninterested in the wedding talk are getting too much. I don’t feel like I can write about one thing and one thing only for the next year and I really don’t want to lose all my regular readers while doing so.

The decision is partly due to the fact that I’m DYING to be a blogger for The Hive, and I really need to prep, revise, document, and photograph every single step of my wedding planning to be considered. I have to start taking a camera everywhere and the names and faces can’t be changed… WHICH MEANS, the identity of the Scottish will be revealed on said wedding blog. Can you feel the excitement? Not really? Me neither, because most people who read this either know the Scottish personally or are Facebook friends with us. HOWEVER, there are some people who follow my blog that I do not know (thank you WordPress) and perhaps they feel some excitement.

For now, I am not sure how public my wedding blog will be. It might be more of a private thing until I figure out where it’s headed, that said, if you just love everything wedding and can’t get enough of the decision-making, the stress, and the details- both large and small, then please shoot me a message on Facebook, email, or reply here and once it’s up and running I will pass on the info. What’s a blog for if not to share?

So while this means I can start blogging about other stuff again, it means the posts will be less frequent and my Wednesday/Sunday schedule will be lost. Because let’s be honest, planning a wedding, working full-time, AND writing for two blogs is a crazy person’s idea.

But never fear! I have great posts in my head waiting to get out! You can look forward to such entries as “Why I prefer Male Doctors Over Females” and of course we have yet to hear from my friend who is an open marriage! I promise that will happen at some point but probably not until end of April/early May.

So thank you friends, for being patient through this time of transition. And cheers to you and your own artistic outlet. If you don’t have one, go find one.
Much love,
Stephanie

Quote: “Success is like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired- you quit when the gorilla is tired.” Robert Strauss

Fat Bastard is my favorite fictional Scottish Character

18 Mar

“Get in mah belly!!!” I’m quite good at reciting this line from my all-time favorite movie series EVER, Austin Powers. I think Mike Meyers is a comedic genius and that trilogy has been making me laugh for as long as I can remember. My brother and I used to entertain the family with lines from the movies while we sat around a campfire roasting marshmallows. Good times. And while I can very succinctly replicate Fat Bastard’s accent, I am a big failure when it comes to copying my fiancé’s Scottish accent. I always seem to sound British cockney or Australian, Irish, or just plain mentally ill. However, my interpretation of his accent is always good for a laugh and last night while drinking beers with our friends who were in town from Minnesota, we came up with the moronic brilliant idea that at our wedding, the Scottish should thank everyone in an American accent, and I should thank everyone in a Scottish accent. That way our toasts will surely be memorable.

It got me thinking less about my venue stress and more about how I want to incorporate as much Scottish tradition into the wedding as possible. Thanks to Best Friend, I found a website called “Scottish Wedding Dream,” and finally have found some time to explore it and since I was exploring I thought I would share my findings with you, my readers. Below you’ll find a few gems that I figured were worth sharing in a segment called Traditions Part One.

All quotes are taken from here: I hope you like Tartans.

Traditions Part One
Handfasting. I love being engaged and I love that I get almost a year to prepare for marriage and to enjoy my final days of being legally single before I commit to the love of my life. Back in the medieval times in Scotland, they had a similar engagement period known as handfasting. It’s essential marks the start of a “trial-run” of the marriage and the bride and groom’s hands are tied together with a cord or cloth of tartan pledging themselves to each other. One year and one day later they decide to either stay together and have a wedding or to separate. And being very egalitarian about it, either party could decide not to go through with it. My favorite reason behind handfasting is this:
“There were practical reasons for this arrangement. Children were needed to work in the father’s trade. During this year, the bride’s fertility, or lack thereof, could be determined.” So basically it’s like the modern-day couple living together before getting married, but without birth control since the goal is procreation. OH how times have changed.

Surnames. The whole idea of taking the man’s last name is such a personal thing that I don’t think any woman should feel bad no matter what she chooses. Some feminists consider changing your name to be a step back for women everywhere, whereas some conservative brides consider it a disrespectful act to keep your maiden name. I don’t care what anyone else does, but I have decided to change my name. To me, it’s a symbolic act that outwardly shows the joining of my life with the Scottish. Plus, my mom took my dad’s name, and it makes me feel good to follow that tradition. Why should me taking my future husband’s name have anything to do with my views on gender equality? I still am who I am regardless of my last name, and I plan to become famous either way. 🙂
On a peculiar and interesting note, Scottish tradition states that it’s bad luck if couples share the same first letter of their last names. It is eloquently explained in this rhyme:
“To change the name
and not the letter
Is to change for the worst
and not the better.”

Umm, yea, doubtful… BUT I am going from an “L” to a “C” just to stay on the good side of my Scottish luck. 🙂

Stag and Hen Parties. Translation: Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties!! WHOO-HOOO!! Since I’ve known the Scottish he has always referred to his big event as a “Stag Do,” and it makes me feel inspired to call my upcoming girl fest a “Hen Do.” Why the heck not?? Apparently, embarrassing the groom goes back a looong time because tradition states that the groom had to carry a basket of stones on his back while walking through town (called Creelin’), unless his bride were to give him a kiss, then he could stop. What fun that sounds like… I suppose it’s not much different from the “Let’s get the groom so completely trashed and make him do stupid stuff” that happens these days. Pretty sure my Scottish would prefer to get drunk before being embarrassed.

They say the Hen Party started because people used to bring gifts for the bride-to-be’s upcoming wedding feast (sort of like a Bridal Shower?), and often times these gifts included hens. Then a few days before the wedding everyone helped pluck the hens and prepared them to be eaten. While I love the idea of having a “Hen Do,” I’m gonna go ahead and say right now that I prefer lingerie and kitchenware to poultry.

That’s it for now, but there are so many more traditions to discover. One tradition told to me by FMIL is to add a bit of white heather to your bouquet for good luck. I think that’s my favorite one so far!!

Is anyone else incorporating their heritage into their wedding planning? Or has anyone seen a cool wedding tradition in action? If so, what are they?

Quote: “The judicious bride saved these special feathers to stuff future pillows and comforters for her home.” Scottish Wedding Dreams Website

Eminem and the Spice Girls

14 Mar

Well, well, well, I am embarrassed to say that I didn’t do much on my day off. I shouldn’t feel this way because most people in my life ENCOURAGE me to relax now and again, to work less, to chill more. Alas, I hold myself to high standards and had great intentions to go to my Pilates class, sweep the floor, and do the laundry, but nothing really needed to be done. Nothing was urgent and I was just in a mood to sit on the couch (yes I know it’s beautiful but I am lucky enough to be able to walk around outside for my job almost everyday so it was OK to be inside). So sit on the couch I did.

But because I am who I am (and that is my mother’s daughter), I was productive. I still needed to make the bouquet for my friend’s rehearsal dinner, you know how you take the bows from bridal shower gifts and arrange them into something she can hold while doing her dress rehearsal of walking down the aisle? Well I made that today and I’m quite proud of it but because my lovely friend reads this blog, I don’t want to post any pictures of it so she can be surprised. 🙂

The other productive thing I did was start my wedding dance songs playlist. WHOO-HOOO! Why so early you ask? When there are engagement photo props to be made, Scottish wedding traditions to research, contract agreements to go over, and other things piling up? Well, again nothing was that urgent, and starting something that can be revised along the way seemed like way less commitment.

Those of you who know me well, know that I am a loser when it comes to music. I’ve been to a total of two concerts in my life, I can never tell you who sings what, most of the music I listen to can also be found on the radio, and my IPOD is over 5 years old. I know, what a winner.

Don’t get me wrong, I love music. I’m one of those people who desires to have background music scoring their life, but I just don’t obsess about or collect or enjoy music in the same way other people do. That said, I am going to be very deliberate that every song on our list is totally and completely AWESOME. The songs will be awesome but also the most random collection of music possible. Basically I just love the most popular songs from the famous of artists. See how all that radio listening pays off! Our wedding will have fun and crazy bump and grind top 40 music, followed by The Beatles, followed by Mariah Carey, followed by Mumford and Sons, followed by Destiny’s Child, etc, etc. By now you’ve figured out that I also love both Eminem AND the Spice Girls. I mean, what’s not to love? I just want to have the time of our lives, and dance all night. Lucky for me, most of my girlfriends are sizzlin’ hot on the dance floor, all of my family knows how to kick up their heels, and most of the Scottish’s friends will be drunk enough to dance as well so I’m thinking it’s going to be one heck of a night! They say that your guests have a good time when they see YOU having a good time! So the Scottish and I will pick the songs that make US want to dance and I have no doubt it will be amazing and beautiful. And hopefully a little dirty.

And just to keep everyone on their toes (hahaha), they’ll be some authentic Scottish dancing known as a Ceilidh, and I literally can’t wait for that unique part of our evening!

Oh and I started crying when I thought of dancing with my dad. I love wedding planning!!!!!!

Quote: “Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music.” Ronald Reagan

Never thought I’d do THIS

13 Mar

I think I will be booking my wedding venue sight unseen.

Now, before anyone freaks out, calls me crazy, (or just plain stupid), let me explain. Just because my fiance and I will not be viewing the venue does not mean that no one will have seen it. In fact, two very trusted people have seen said venue and have fallen in love with it. They are my mother and my sister, and I heard through the grapevine that one of them may have cried tears of joy. How is that for a confirmation? Besides that, who knows me better than my mom and little sis? They get my taste for fancy, they know my need for drama, and they understand how I want things to look more expensive than they really are… in short, they know how to think like a princess. 🙂

This isn’t an easy decision though and in all honesty, it’s not been officially made. I still have to have the final conversation with the Scottish about this and before that he and I are viewing a hotel (of the same chain) here in the Chicago area to see if this is the sort of place we can envision ourselves getting married. The other part of the plan is for my mother to check out an entirely different hotel option before any deposits are made, and then if we all agree that it is the right step, we might just go for it. Sight unseen.

The thing is, I can’t get back to Minnesota until early May! And if we go with our March idea for a wedding (more on that to come in a post called, “I’M HAVING A MARCH WEDDING IN MINNESOTA SO I MUST BE A LUNATIC EVEN THOUGH SO FAR THIS CURRENT MARCH HAS THE BEST EVER”) and it’s already less than 365 days til the BIG day, yikes but also how exciting is that!?!?! The venue needs to be booked so we can send out STD’s to everyone, so people from across the pond can start pricing flights, so other vendors can be booked, etc, etc, ETC.

That said, it’s quite frightening to commit to something you’ve never seen. But it helps that we have limited options to begin with:
1. We love the idea of one-stop wedding hopping, especially considering our percentage of OOTG. (Quiz time, do you remember what that means? Out-of-town guests, yay GO YOU!) We really want our guests to have the luxury of one space fits all! We want people to be able to flow easily from ceremony to cocktail hour to reception and finally to their comfy hotel beds. Speaking from experience, I’ve always enjoyed the option of switching my shoes, putting my purse away, or just using a private bathroom when I’ve stayed at the same hotel or lodge that the wedding reception was taking place in.
2. We save on transportation costs. The Chicagoans and Scottish folk will be able to avoid car rentals because the hotel we are looking at has free shuttles to and from the airport as well as shuttles to the MOA (Mall of America) and other places. The Minnesotans can drive if they so desire because the hotel is only 15 minutes from our Twin City suburb, and they will know the area. They’ll also know how to drive on the right side of the road. (Hehehe, Mr. Scottish isn’t going to find that as funny as I do!)
3. I am without a church to call my home. I grew up attending church in an elementary school cafeteria. We were big on faith and people but didn’t have much money so we rented our space every Sunday from a local school. When my church joined with another church in the area that had a nice sized building I was getting older and soon went off to college. It’s a nice building but it’s just not big enough to house all of our friends, families, and my princess dreams.

So ultimately, it made sense that we would have a religious-based ceremony but that it wasn’t going to be in a church. To be honest, I had always pictured myself walking down a beautiful aisle in a gorgeous church with stained glass windows, a commanding organ, and a familiar pulpit, but those kinds of churches don’t exist in my non-denominational faith anyway, so when discussing venue options with my parents that first night we were engaged, both the Scottish and I decided on a hotel with little hesitation.

I am ready! I am ready to commit to a date, a place, and a time. This wedding will be uniquely our own and it will happen where and when it should. It’s a practice of faith really, believing in something you can’t see, and trusting the ones you love. Not a bad thing to have to practice in my book.

Quote: “All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” Peter Pan (J.M. Barrie)

He loves me, he loves me not, he proposed aka he loves me!

11 Mar

Dorky title I know, but what can I say? I’m feeling dorky. And I’m feeling psyched. And I have to get the words out on paper. Every once in awhile it just hits me, the Scottish really wants to marry me! How cool is that?!?!

I think a little bit of back story is necessary. My man is wonderful in general but a romantic he is not. And that’s totally fine with me. He’s a man’s man (albeit a skinny one) but he likes beer and football and he’s not a sissy. He’s adventurous, always up for a challenge, he knows computers, plays video games, prefers me in low-cut tops, and drinks whiskey straight. He’s a total guy.

I love him for everything that he is and while dating, I knew that he loved me, unconditionally, I knew that he wanted to be with me FOREVER, and I knew that his heart and my heart were stuck together (because I, on the other hand, AM a romantic) but my guy’s guy did not really want to talk about marriage as quickly as I did. It stressed him out and forced him to think about responsibility, growing up, and above all, lifelong commitment (AHHHH!)!! So, for awhile there I was the one saying COME ON, I JUST WANNA GET MARRIED, and he was the one saying, whoa let’s date for like two or three years first and get to know each other more. UGH.

It didn’t help that I was and still am surrounded by women with uber-romantic men in their lives. I have a handful of women that met their current partner and the GUY was the first one to talk about marriage. I found myself comparing and wondering why Mr. Scottish wasn’t acting the same, super-romantic way that they were acting. But I’d remind myself that I like him the way he is and every man is different. I love all the things that make him a man’s man, so why would I want to change that? Plus, he DOES buy me flowers on Valentine’s Day and it might have taken him almost two years to purchase a piece of jewelery (beautiful Swarovski crystal earrings) but that’s OK because he outdid himself when it came to my stunning engagement ring. wowza.

Since I’ve been engaged I’ve been walking around (on my little cloud) exclaiming sometimes to myself and sometimes out loud, The Scottish wants to marry ME! What.an.honor. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world because my man’s man decided it was time to settle down and be someday’s husband. And being engaged looks very good on him. He smiles when I call him my fiancé and he somewhat enjoys the wedding planning process and is definitely being very helpful thus far.

So I know there are lots of men out there in touch with their sensitive side and those that show more emotion and romance, but it is an indescribable feeling you feel when the person you love asks you to marry them. (Especially when it puts him so far out of his comfort zone that he would never do it if he didn’t feel it 100 percent.)

I NEED QUOTES.

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