Male? Yes please.

25 Mar

Am I the only female who PREFERS male doctors to female doctors? Because if so, the rest of you ladies are missing out, in my humble opinion. You see, going to a dude is way better. This applies to not only your gynecologist, but also your dentist, and even stretches to encompass your massage therapist. While I’m a HUGE fan of women in so many other professions (CEO’s, Pastors, grocery store clerks, lawyers, nail salon technicians) and while I prefer them as friends (sorry boys, some of you don’t get me!), I will always choose a male doctor over a female and I’ll tell ya why.

DISCLAIMER: Before anyone tells me how WONDERFUL their female doctor is please let me say this: Below you will find a humorous blog post. This is funny, (you can laugh,) and you don’t have to be offended because while I make a large sweeping generalization here, I too know great female doctors! I also know great female massage therapists, physical therapists, etc. So if you feel something different, no sweat off my blog’s brow.

photo courtesy of istockphoto.com

1. Male doctors are considerably more gentle and kind. I feel like women go harder on other women because heck, they GET IT, they are probably dealing with similar issues, and they don’t take pity on you but instead tell you to buck up. When your stomach is covered in unexplained hives (last year was bad for me), all you want is a little compassion! A guy, he just nods, listens, and at least outwardly appears to care.

2. Guys know how to make me laugh. Maybe it’s their voice or their jokes, but when I giggle I feel more at ease, and I just find a man’s relaxing and jovial presence just what I need while sitting on a cold sterile table surrounded in bad lighting. Case in point, the female doctor I have right now has YET to make me laugh or even crack a real smile- it’s been over 2 years.

3. If a male is doing your pesky one-time-a-year-ladies-exam, they are usually required to have another women in the room. This woman will hold your hand and distract you with friendly banter. This is especially great when it’s your FIRST TIME. (True story: Stephanie getting her first women parts exam circa 2002, male doctor, he still works with her family today, great guy)

4. As the patient, you get to do most of the talking. Do I even need to explain this? Women talk…. a lot. Guys are used to this. Long time ago, I had this physical therapist lady who kept cutting me off to explain stupid nonrelevant things and rushed me to get to the point, “Umm, everything I’m saying is leading up to my point, and aren’t I paying you to listen?”

5. Women are great at nagging aren’t they? I feel like every time I get a massage by a woman, (and I usually only get 2-3 a year and most of those come in the form of gifts mind you) but every time I see a woman she gives me a huge guilt trip about not coming often enough, explains how tense I am, and makes me feel bad that I’m not paying for the hour-long massages because that’s what my tense and broken body needs. (WELL, for one thing lady, my massage might be a bit more relaxing without all the nagging!!) But just last week I had a male massage therapist who was awesome, and there was no nagging, no guilt trip, and a fair amount of giggling. I might have a slight crush now. It’s ok, the Scottish doesn’t mind. 🙂

Quote: “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.” Attributed to both Marion Smith and Nicole Hollander

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