I flew across the pond all by myself!

14 Apr

Beautiful Edinburgh.

Having just traveled to Scotland and back, ALONE, I can confidently say that I am still one of the worst travelers ever. Remember when I shared my travel anxiety with you all? I fear it is time to work on said anxiety and improve myself in preparation for years to come of traveling abroad. While some of you out there are saying, “Man, she is sooo lucky!” I say, “Maybe that guy from the Big Bang Theory will be smart enough to figure out teleportation before my next flight.”

Despite my lack of desire to become a better traveler, I think out of necessity, I am going to do my best and transform into the easy breezy beautiful jet-setter that I know I can be.

Let’s assess my most recent trip and using a random point system, determine my success.
We’ll call them Travel VIP Points and once I get to a certain amount I can start flying first class!! HA. NOT.
Let’s say:
10 points or below = Travel Newbie
10-20 points = Travel Ace
20-30 points = Travel Veteran
30-40 points = Travel Superstar

Incident One: Packed a small bag of *refreshers aka deodorant, make-up, and toothbrush, to avoid traveling ugly. The Scottish was quite pleased with my appearance upon arrival and therefore, success. +5 points
*made up word by author of this post

Incident Two: Threw a minor fit (to myself) over lack of a good seat. -2 points

Incident Three: While in the airplane I only went to the bathroom when the person next to me went to the bathroom. This took real concentration and mental calming as one of my biggest fears is not having access to a toilet at all times. +8 points

Incident Four: During the flight I asked the guy next to me for the current time on his watch thus engaging someone I don’t already know in conversation. +3 points

Incident Five: Denied further conversation after same guy attempted to ask questions about where I was flying to and where I was from by not returning the same questions. -6 points

Incident Six: Finding my way from one large terminal to another large terminal in Heathrow airport… twice! +10 points

Incident Seven: Prematurely using my Kate Spade passport cover that says “MRS” on it and confusing someone at security when she thought I was already married. Oops. I couldn’t help it, it’s so beautiful and it’s not like I need my passport to go to MN, I just had to use it!! Still, sigh. -5 points

Incident Eight: Moving to a different seat for a group of three that wanted to sit together. +4 points

Incident Nine: Through this move of generosity I secured an aisle seat. +3 points

Incident Ten: Inadvertently glaring at all those who dared to sneeze nearby whilst we were all stuck breathing the same air for over 8 hours. -6 points

SIDENOTE: I dislike hearing/seeing others sneeze. I find it alarming and quite frankly, gross. The worst offenders I know are Sister and The Scottish. Sister sneezes every time the sun comes up, which (for those of you who are still half-asleep) is DAILY! And the Scottish makes the weirdest noise I’ve ever heard that boarders somewhere between a sneeze and a cough, and I call them “cough-sneezes” of course. They come four at a time and in rapid succession and usually interrupt what I’m saying thus forcing me to wait and wonder, “is that a sneeze or a cough? I can’t tell! It’s a cough-sneeze!!” (For the record I personally enjoy sneezing. Yep, I’m terrible).

Alrighty, let me do the math… with a calculator… and we have a grand total of 14 Travel VIP points!!
Wow. At least I’m a Travel Ace (whatever that means). I see there is plenty of room for improvement. And I swear I didn’t plan this low score, I just put down the first number that came to head after I wrote each incident. Bizarre.

Quote: “Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.” Unknown

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