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Kit Kats

1 Aug

It’s break time people.  I’m sorry to say it but “gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.”  No really, I enjoy a good Kit Kat.  🙂

As sad as it is, I need to take a hiatus from “Drama Happens.”  Cue the sad music and/or everyone chanting in unison, “Haven’t you basically already left us?!?”  I’m truly sorry for being so MIA recently.  Blogging is a fast-paced, unique style of writing and I don’t feel that I can do justice to this blog by only posting once in a while.  I want to come back to it when I can commit more of my time and energy to my ridiculous stories and examination of relationships.  Even though I’ve been busy, I still think about all of my awesome readers fondly and I’m so thankful for those of you faithful followers.  My stats tell me new awesome people find this blog daily, because as it turns out I’m not alone in my daily fear of looking so fat in pictures.

Meanwhile I’m still going to be blogging, but I’ll also be learning!  I can’t wait to revamp and jazz up “Drama Happens” when the time comes to start again.  I hope to delve deeper into some of life’s most important relationship questions.

I’m humbled and excited by the open doors in my life and I’m attempting to count my blessings daily.

Thank you all for your “likes,” your support, your comments, and your words of wisdom!  Cheers to your path, wherever it may lead you!

And as always, I leave you with a,

Quote: “Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quietest chambers.  The mind can never break off from the journey.”  -Pat Conroy

Please pass the patience

22 May

My back has been hurting lately.  If you don’t know why this is particularly frustrating for me, I suggest you read THIS, and everything will become clear.

I’m just feeling a little low right now. There are so many wonderful things in my life, but sometimes I get stuck when one or two aspects are bad. I have been working out a lot recently, like, a lot a lot.  Because you know, I’m getting married.  And all this working out is making me feel good!   Despite the good reports it gets, I’ve never been a fan of burning the ol’ calories, but I’m shocked to repot I am happy after I workout now and I’m even starting to looking forward to it.  GASP!  If you’ll remember, this all started because I said I was going to workout more so I could eat more what I wanted when I wanted.  Well, since I’ve been working out more frequently, my back has been bothering me.  And frankly, that just sucks.  I wish there was a more eloquent way to put it, but sadly, there’s not.

It’s really bad in the mornings.  Like I have trouble moving and showering and getting out of bed.  Just like last year. I think it has something to do with stillness and my back getting all tight and sore while I sleep, but who really knows? The Scottish has suggested I cut down on the working out, to which I responded, “Do you want me to be a fat bride?” My mother has suggested I see a doctor, to which I responded, “Not until I’m married with better insurance! You know I can’t afford to go see someone right now!”

Of course they’re right.  Of course I’m just mad. I’ve decided to give it a week and then I might make an appointment to see my old pal long-haired-witty-surgeon-friend. The thing is, the pain is NOT entirely like it was last year, it’s manageable for one, and two, it’s not killing my nerve causing me to lose feeling in my left leg. It’s more like a sharp pinching discomfort located where (I’m speculating) my herniated disk is… I know that someday I might need to get my disks fused together, and that I’m sort of destined to have back issues my whole life.  But the one thing I was supposed to work was strengthening my core and that’s what I was doing by working out!!  Insert catch 22 HERE.

I guess the only other option is to move south, buy a house with a swimming pool and do water aerobics for the rest of my life. (Swimming is ideal for my situation).  Sigh, or I need to be patient and listen to my body (and the smart people in my life).

Switching topics, that’s not the only low spot in my life. I don’t really like to talk about what I’m about to talk about. Truth is, I feel ashamed. I feel like a phony. But I know you are all real people too. You have good and you have bad. So I’m going to share some of my bad with you. I call myself actor, I am trained as an actor, but I haven’t been on stage since Feb. 2010. Ouch.

I was supposed to be on stage in 2011 but due to back surgery I was forced to quit the show I was working on, and I haven’t been cast in something since.   When I started this blog, I talked about finding my new creative outlet (writing!), and luckily I have been able to find new ways of fulfilling myself as an artist since quitting that show last year.

I have filmed a short movie directed and written by a friend of mine that was submitted and shown at the Oak Park Film Festival (among other festivals), I had an unpaid job doing transcription work for the wonderful Chicago-based theatre company ATC, and I’ve started (and still maintain) TWO separate blogs. Oh and I just started planning a wedding– which is definitely artistic in its own way! Not.too.shabby.

Good news is I have a few auditions on the horizon and that feels good.  The thing is, I just don’t find many shows that I can audition for because I’m traveling so much this year.  And the ones I do find are looking for men, or Latinas, or something totally and completely random!

Example of a fake audition notice:  We are looking for someone who can juggle and ride a unicycle while singing and playing piano, who speaks German with an Italian accent, who looks 20 but can play 40, who can dance 3 different types of salsa, and is trained in movement and stage combat.  WHAAA???

My fake response: “Umm I sing… a little bit,  and I’m trained in stage combat, I’ve worked on many different movement-based shows, but yea, I guess I’ll have to get back to you once I learn German and graduate from CLOWN SCHOOL.”  It’s brutal out there.  I know I’m exaggerating a bit, but I truly WISH I was kidding.  Everyone is looking for something so specific.  Sometimes I don’t feel like there’s a place for me in this new world of theatre.  Perhaps I’m too ordinary.

I could write a whole blog about being an artist and all the cons that come along with it, but truth is I wouldn’t change my life for a second. I knew I was going to be an actor since I was in 5th grade, and a few years away from the stage means nothing in lifetime of art.  But I’m lacking the patience to wait. I’m losing inspiration and hope, and just feeling lousy about the whole thing. But this is common.  This is common for artists and others. You can’t be in the right place at the right time constantly or else there’d be no journey! Plus, you can’t possibly appreciate it if you don’t know life without it.

So for now, I’m going to work on toning my arms, because thankfully they’re just flabby fine. And I’m going to keep searching for auditions that fit into my crazy-busy schedule. And I’m going to smile and count my blessings because the beauty of life is that it keeps moving. And change will come and opportunities will present themselves.

A “journey”

Here’s hoping you have not only the drive but also the patience to achieve all of your dreams!!

Quote: “Success seems to be connected with action.  Successful people keep moving.  They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”  Conrad Hilton

Bye Bye Bridal Banter

21 Mar

After a LOT of thought, I have decided to go back to the way things were with “Drama Happens” and start a separate wedding blog. It just feels too overwhelming and too restrictive (all at the same time!) to write about my wedding on my Relationship/Life blog. Those interested in the wedding talk aren’t getting enough of the good stuff, and those uninterested in the wedding talk are getting too much. I don’t feel like I can write about one thing and one thing only for the next year and I really don’t want to lose all my regular readers while doing so.

The decision is partly due to the fact that I’m DYING to be a blogger for The Hive, and I really need to prep, revise, document, and photograph every single step of my wedding planning to be considered. I have to start taking a camera everywhere and the names and faces can’t be changed… WHICH MEANS, the identity of the Scottish will be revealed on said wedding blog. Can you feel the excitement? Not really? Me neither, because most people who read this either know the Scottish personally or are Facebook friends with us. HOWEVER, there are some people who follow my blog that I do not know (thank you WordPress) and perhaps they feel some excitement.

For now, I am not sure how public my wedding blog will be. It might be more of a private thing until I figure out where it’s headed, that said, if you just love everything wedding and can’t get enough of the decision-making, the stress, and the details- both large and small, then please shoot me a message on Facebook, email, or reply here and once it’s up and running I will pass on the info. What’s a blog for if not to share?

So while this means I can start blogging about other stuff again, it means the posts will be less frequent and my Wednesday/Sunday schedule will be lost. Because let’s be honest, planning a wedding, working full-time, AND writing for two blogs is a crazy person’s idea.

But never fear! I have great posts in my head waiting to get out! You can look forward to such entries as “Why I prefer Male Doctors Over Females” and of course we have yet to hear from my friend who is an open marriage! I promise that will happen at some point but probably not until end of April/early May.

So thank you friends, for being patient through this time of transition. And cheers to you and your own artistic outlet. If you don’t have one, go find one.
Much love,
Stephanie

Quote: “Success is like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired- you quit when the gorilla is tired.” Robert Strauss

Eminem and the Spice Girls

14 Mar

Well, well, well, I am embarrassed to say that I didn’t do much on my day off. I shouldn’t feel this way because most people in my life ENCOURAGE me to relax now and again, to work less, to chill more. Alas, I hold myself to high standards and had great intentions to go to my Pilates class, sweep the floor, and do the laundry, but nothing really needed to be done. Nothing was urgent and I was just in a mood to sit on the couch (yes I know it’s beautiful but I am lucky enough to be able to walk around outside for my job almost everyday so it was OK to be inside). So sit on the couch I did.

But because I am who I am (and that is my mother’s daughter), I was productive. I still needed to make the bouquet for my friend’s rehearsal dinner, you know how you take the bows from bridal shower gifts and arrange them into something she can hold while doing her dress rehearsal of walking down the aisle? Well I made that today and I’m quite proud of it but because my lovely friend reads this blog, I don’t want to post any pictures of it so she can be surprised. 🙂

The other productive thing I did was start my wedding dance songs playlist. WHOO-HOOO! Why so early you ask? When there are engagement photo props to be made, Scottish wedding traditions to research, contract agreements to go over, and other things piling up? Well, again nothing was that urgent, and starting something that can be revised along the way seemed like way less commitment.

Those of you who know me well, know that I am a loser when it comes to music. I’ve been to a total of two concerts in my life, I can never tell you who sings what, most of the music I listen to can also be found on the radio, and my IPOD is over 5 years old. I know, what a winner.

Don’t get me wrong, I love music. I’m one of those people who desires to have background music scoring their life, but I just don’t obsess about or collect or enjoy music in the same way other people do. That said, I am going to be very deliberate that every song on our list is totally and completely AWESOME. The songs will be awesome but also the most random collection of music possible. Basically I just love the most popular songs from the famous of artists. See how all that radio listening pays off! Our wedding will have fun and crazy bump and grind top 40 music, followed by The Beatles, followed by Mariah Carey, followed by Mumford and Sons, followed by Destiny’s Child, etc, etc. By now you’ve figured out that I also love both Eminem AND the Spice Girls. I mean, what’s not to love? I just want to have the time of our lives, and dance all night. Lucky for me, most of my girlfriends are sizzlin’ hot on the dance floor, all of my family knows how to kick up their heels, and most of the Scottish’s friends will be drunk enough to dance as well so I’m thinking it’s going to be one heck of a night! They say that your guests have a good time when they see YOU having a good time! So the Scottish and I will pick the songs that make US want to dance and I have no doubt it will be amazing and beautiful. And hopefully a little dirty.

And just to keep everyone on their toes (hahaha), they’ll be some authentic Scottish dancing known as a Ceilidh, and I literally can’t wait for that unique part of our evening!

Oh and I started crying when I thought of dancing with my dad. I love wedding planning!!!!!!

Quote: “Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music.” Ronald Reagan

My first DIY

26 Feb

No, you aren’t lost, this is Stephanie’s blog, but with a twist! Yesterday I hosted a bachelorette party and it was a great success but I am consequently too tired to write anything profound. I have noticed that a lot of people’s blogs feature the cute new items they’ve made and since I recently made a craft myself (ahh, thankyouverymuch), I thought I’d share it with my readers. It was quite an intensive project as you’ll see below.

I was looking for cute wine glasses for my friend to use at her bachelorette party, and I couldn’t find what I wanted, so I made them MYSELF. First, I bought the wine glasses, and then I bought the glitter glue pens. I went home, and after washing and drying the wine glasses, I wrote “Bride-to-be, Maid-of-Honor, and Bridesmaid” on them. Following that I let them dry. Surprisingly, they didn’t take that long to make!

And they were a big hit! I’m proud of myself and hopefully this is the first of many DIY projects in the future. My next project is my Wedding Collage.

Ummmmm, yeaaaaaa, I don’t know any quotes about crafting…….

Quote: “I don’t mind at all when people stare at me. In fact, I love it. There isn’t much point in being glamorous if nobody will appreciate it.” Jayne Mansfield

Sharing a bed with someone makes crying yourself to sleep nearly impossible

15 Feb

And I found this out the hard way on Monday night. I was watching the new show Smash, and if you are unfamiliar with this new drama, the short version is that it’s a show about show business. It’s a behind the scenes look at the producing, writing, auditioning, and directing of a Broadway musical. Can you say, “hits too close to home?” I mean, I really can’t pretend to relate to New York actresses who sing and dance and audition for high-profile productions about Marilyn Monroe, BUT I have felt those same feelings and I can only imagine how much harder it is to be a starving artist in NY. The blonde girl in the show has been back-up dancing in a musical for nearly a decade and is really talented but tries too hard, and the skinny brunette girl (Katharine McPhee) waits tables, has a very supportive boyfriend, and loads of talent but not enough drive or fierceness to land a big role. I relate to both of them, I try too hard AND I’m sort of the meek quiet girl when it comes to auditioning. Coupled with my hiatus from the stage and these intense feelings rushing back, I just needed a good theatrical cry.

The Scottish, and I’ll say men in general, do NOT enjoy it when women cry. They feel the need to “fix” it and they try to make suggestions and encourage you to try harder when all you want is them to say is, “It’s going to be OK.” That’s all that’s needed. But the Scottish in particular feels bad and doesn’t want me to be upset, and so I’m forced to get it together and end a good cry too early. It’s a real shame. Back in my single days I would be able to have a good meltdown by myself whenever I needed it. Sometimes I’d have two before bedtime. I am an equal-opportunity cry-er, I will cry about anything, about missing home and family, about being single and alone, about not getting the part I wanted, and most recently about back pain. And the best part (for me) is turning off all the lights, laying on my side, and letting the tears roll down my face. I imagine how cool this would look in a movie and for a moment I forget whatever it is I’m depressed about. Soon I remember why it is my life sucks in the first place, and then I yell at myself because I’m so lame I’m not even crying over real problems, and then I cry because I don’t like it when I’m forced to yell at myself. Finally, I fall asleep and then wake up the next morning refreshed and ready to tackle my “problem.” Suffice it to say, crying is a nice emotional release for me and it usually puts me in a way better mood.

But with the Scottish laying right next to me, I am feeling self-conscious and downright stupid. I know I have to quit the water works fast because he’s a light sleeper and I can’t very well be making sobbing noises when he has to get up for work the next day. Plus if he puts his arm around me he’s going to feel my shaking and that could be equally distracting. And then of course he’ll be worrying! He won’t be able to fall asleep knowing I’m so upset. I’ve tried in vain to explain to him that I’m not really that upset; I just enjoy a good cry everyday now and then.

BUT NO. I am forced to stifle my sniffles, blow my nose, and tell him that I’m OK so we can both get some sleep. Ahhhhh, sometimes I look back fondly on those dramatic nights, but when I really think about it, I have to say I prefer having someone laying next to me who cares enough to try and “fix” it. And there’s always the bathroom floor. 🙂

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day! The Scottish bought me roses, a lovely card, and we had a wonderful dinner at this super cute wine bar in Wicker Park!

Quote: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Bible Psalms 30:5

“We talk about your heart, bout your brains, and your smarts, and your medical charts, and when you start”

25 Jan

My favorite relationship of all is probably the one I have with myself. Probably. I love spending time with myself but I do find it to be frustrating at times. My brain is powerful and I’ve yet to find the off switch so it can be very exhausting to be me. I’m crazy, loud, unashamed, and intense. But overall I have to say I am a big fan of myself. Plus, I’m attractive. One of my favorite stories about my nanny kid Derek takes place while I was driving them home from school one day last year. I must have told Derek he was going to have to do something that he didn’t want to do because he playfully said that he did NOT have to listen to me because I wasn’t his mom or his dad. And I said something to the effect of, “Oh yes you do, I’m in charge right now.” To which Derek replied, “Well, but you are kind of pretty.” I have no clue how that made sense in his mind, but I’ll take it. And now it’s time to take stock of this pretty girl’s life. It’s time for an update to access how things are going. I normally do this in my head when I’m stressed out and trying to count my blessings, but in this case, it works as a blog post too.

House(s)– Apt: Feels like home after months of moving in items slowly, so much so that I have now reached the point of having to pack a bag to go BACK to my condo. It’s clean, the laundry is done, there’s food in the fridge, but I still feel like there’s a million things left to get done.
Condo: Feels empty but clean. I go back once or twice a week to check the mail, fetch things I need, or to relax and watch cable. Looking forward to the day when it will be an income property.

Job– Really good right now. I love my new schedule of working 4 ten-hour days. My mid-week day off allows me time to make appointments, clean the house, blog, work-out, and so much more. It leaves me feeling refreshed and ready to be a good nanny. Relationship with boss and kids are good, everyone’s doing well.

Boyfriend– Awwww, I love seeing him all the time. Just being in his presence calms me. We may fight (I know you’ve all read the last blog) sometimes, but I’m disgustingly happy with my Scottish.

Family– I.have.the.best.family.in.the.whole.world. I don’t even know how I got so lucky. Immediate and extended, it’s all goooooood. I have no reason to complain…ever. It’s good to remind myself of this.

Friends– I have a lot of friends. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m spread very thin, but in the end, I just try to give as much as I can in that moment. I have an awesome best friend who I rarely see in MN, she knows the most about me of anyone, but I miss all the fun we used to have when we lived closer. I have a wonderful friend who’s planning a wedding and I’m very excited and focused on my Maid of Honor responsibilities right now. I can’t wait to celebrate her big day! I have two really lovely and special friends in New York that I can’t wait to go visit and submerge myself into their lives once again even if for a short time. I have my Sister Wives who are my local girls that make city living so amazing and fun. I don’t know where I’d be without them. And then I have artistic friends, childhood friends, old and new friends, each a unique relationship and each a blessing.

Car– HAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s an old Hyundai Elantra from 2004. I call her my silver baby, and I’m gonna drive her as long as I can. She has seen me through college and has been witness to many of my Chicago driving mistakes, but I wouldn’t want anything flashy. She’s perfect just the way she is, and she’s paid off.

Money– Oops, should have saved the laughter for this one!! 🙂 Money is and will be a struggle for a while, but I’d spend my last dime on someone who I care about, and one day I hope to not have to worry about it as much as I do now.

Blog– Going well for the most part. Some weeks are better than others, and I’m very excited to see how it grows.

Acting– Auditioning and that’s all I can do.

Weight Watchers– Lost 6 pounds in total so far. It’s one of the toughest things I’ve done in my life and also pretty easy at the same time if that makes any sense. It’s well worth the slimming rewards but I’ll never give up my love of food. I rewarded myself with a candy bar last week and to quote Rapunzel in the movie, Tangled, “BEST DAY EVER!”

God– How could I forget this one until last? Maybe that says a lot about where my head has been… My mom would say your favorite relationship should be the one you have with God.

Quote: Do you know the Toby Keith song called, “I Wanna Talk About Me?” Sometimes I picture the Scottish singing this to me even though he doesn’t like country music and he would never sing this song. It’s just the words that crack me up.

“I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, What I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about meeeeeee”

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