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Kit Kats

1 Aug

It’s break time people.  I’m sorry to say it but “gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.”  No really, I enjoy a good Kit Kat.  🙂

As sad as it is, I need to take a hiatus from “Drama Happens.”  Cue the sad music and/or everyone chanting in unison, “Haven’t you basically already left us?!?”  I’m truly sorry for being so MIA recently.  Blogging is a fast-paced, unique style of writing and I don’t feel that I can do justice to this blog by only posting once in a while.  I want to come back to it when I can commit more of my time and energy to my ridiculous stories and examination of relationships.  Even though I’ve been busy, I still think about all of my awesome readers fondly and I’m so thankful for those of you faithful followers.  My stats tell me new awesome people find this blog daily, because as it turns out I’m not alone in my daily fear of looking so fat in pictures.

Meanwhile I’m still going to be blogging, but I’ll also be learning!  I can’t wait to revamp and jazz up “Drama Happens” when the time comes to start again.  I hope to delve deeper into some of life’s most important relationship questions.

I’m humbled and excited by the open doors in my life and I’m attempting to count my blessings daily.

Thank you all for your “likes,” your support, your comments, and your words of wisdom!  Cheers to your path, wherever it may lead you!

And as always, I leave you with a,

Quote: “Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quietest chambers.  The mind can never break off from the journey.”  -Pat Conroy

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Two most important aspects of an intimate relationship are God and Sex

26 Jun

HA!  This blog post has nothing to do with God OR Sex but I got your attention didn’t I? 🙂  Thanks for reading and my sincere apologies for the long absence.  Truthfully, I think about “Drama Happens” A LOT, and I miss writing about relationships, but blogging about my wedding and actually planning the wedding, at the same time, proves to be quite time-consuming.

But I have something to say about a VERY important relationship in my life.  Probably one of the most important ones EVER.

My Mommy.  🙂  (She is the reason behind my title.)  Let me paint the picture: Best Friend and I are sitting on my couch in our family room chatting with my Mother.  My Mother is someone who swears by saying “Oh Sugar!” and “Fish Face!!”  My Mother doesn’t drink alcohol, coffee, OR pop… yes it baffles us all.  My Mother has wanted to be a teacher all her life and my Grandmother jokes that she came out of the womb telling people what to do.  My Mother donates infinite amounts of time and resources to her church and community.  She brings God and forgiveness to inmates at a prison in southern Minnesota and she inspires us all DAILY.  She has her flaws, I mean, no one is perfect, but if you asked me to show the most well-rounded, loving, joyful, respectful, caring, compassionate person I knew it would be my Mother. Hands down.

Back to the couch and my Mother’s most awkward words of wisdom ever!  Best Friend and I are in the middle of male relationship strife no doubt (I honestly can’t remember at this point) and we were asking my Mom about the secret to a happy marriage and she said the two most important parts are God and Sex. CUE EMBARRASSMENT!  Ewww Mom, who says that?  My guess is she barely remembers this convo since it happened years ago and my other guess is that she’s a tiny bit embarrassed that I shared it with you all, but I think she’s right.  She’s one smart Momma.

Despite the random side story, I have no intentions of talking about marriage, Sex, or God (also I don’t know why I keep capitalizing Sex as if it’s super important but regardless I’m just gonna go with it now).  I want to talk about my awesome Mother and the journey I took to realizing her awesomeness.

It all started back when I was little (and adorable or so I’ve heard) and my Mom thought I was an amazing kid.

Age 0-10: I’m cute, I’m talkative, I’m her biggest fan, I’m happy all the time, and I’m fun!  My Mom and I get along swimmingly.

Age 10-18: I’m obnoxious, I’m talkative, I’m depressed, I’m angry, I’m going through puberty, I’m a crazy person, I’m mean and say things like “I hate you!” to my Mother.  My Sister and I fight constantly, leaving our little Brother to complement running away from home.  We are awful teenage girls and it’s a wonder we all survived! Ok, I am being a bit dramatic, but at this point in time my relationship with my Mother reaches an all-time low. (Yes, it all started back in 4th grade believe it or not!)

Age 18-22: I’m selfish, I’m talkative, I’m finding my way as a student and an artist.  I’m getting my heart broken and making bad decisions, and I’m making some good decisions.  Most importantly, my Mother and I are reaching a new level of understanding.  I’m excited for her to visit, I’m starting to listen to her advice, I’m becoming more aware of the world around me, and life is good.

Age 22-27:  I’m learning, I’m talkative, I’m trying new and exciting things, and I’m calling my Mom a lot!  I crave her advice and her words that always seem to make it better.  I look forward to every trip home to see family in Minnesota and North Dakota and can’t get enough of just hanging out with them.  My Mother is suddenly the smartest person I know and she’s continually right about everything!  Our relationship is thriving.

Age 28 or Present Day:  My Mother is helping me plan my wedding to the Scottish and it’s one of the best years of my life.  We are in sync, we are inspired, we are happy, we are laughing, we are making smart decisions, and we are enjoying every single minute!

This is a pretty crazy time for my family with TWO weddings planned for 2013.  If you don’t know me in real face-to-face life, or you’ve never visited my wedding blog, Journey to “i do” then this might be news for you, but my little Sister got engaged over Memorial Day weekend and is getting married next June, which is almost exactly 3 months and one week after my wedding.  Sounds stressful doesn’t it?  Not for my Mom. Everyone who comes up to her with condolences about the fact that she must be SO busy or SO tired or SO overwhelmed gets the same response, “Oh I’m thrilled!” she says.  And she means it too. My Mom couldn’t be more excited or happy for us, our weddings, and our future husbands.  She is having the time of her life!

And it’s her positive attitude that has gotten me through some low moments of not wanting to share the year ahead and some sad moments of missing out on things because I can only get back to Minnesota so many times.  The truth is, I’m overjoyed and excited too!  My Sister and I get to plan our weddings simultaneously and it’s a huge blessing that I will cherish forever!

So there you have it, an Ode to my Mother.  The best woman I know, the most patient wedding planner EVER, the drier of tears and the giver of smiles.  Mom, I wouldn’t be where I am today without your love and support.  I’m the luckiest girl alive and we’re gonna have one hell of a year.  Cheers!

Quote: “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me.  They have clung to me all my life.”  Abraham Lincoln

Are you in a bi-facial relationship?

3 Jun

No that is not a typo, I would like to discuss bi-FACIAL relationships, not bi-RACIAL relationships.  I have nothing against bi-racial relationships, the topic of facial relationships is altogether much more amusing.  I did not coin this phrase, nor do I know how long it’s been around.  I first heard it on the radio while listening to my favorite Chicago morning radio-show hosts, Eric and Kathy on The Mix.  They introduced the idea of a bi-facial relationship to me explaining that it’s what you label a couple in which one person’s face is MUCH more attractive than the other person’s face.  Say you have a woman who is a 10, and her partner is a 3, that would be considered bi-facial.  But a couple who are both 6’s would be considered to be of the same attractiveness and therefore wouldn’t warrant any funny label.

The radio-show hosts were asking people to call in who thought they were part of a bi-facial relationship.  They specifically asked for the person with the HIGHER number to call in, and every single caller that I heard while listening was a woman!  Frankly, I’m not so shocked.  Women as a gender are considerably more attractive in my humble opinion.  I see more women in ads trying to sell things, and I can recognize that the curves and shape of a woman is sometimes more pleasing than that of a man.  Personally, I can usually find something attractive about every woman I see, but on the other hand, I’m really picky about the men I find attractive and tend to judge them more harshly.

I can totally picture a really hot woman with a mediocre man, but don’t really like to picture it the other way around!  I blame society (cause why not)!  Aren’t women expected to be more attractive? Do we secretly like it that way?  I have no answers, only questions.  While this whole idea makes me laugh, I know there is nothing funny about body image issues and I KNOW that we all have them.  We all act as our own worst critic, and that can be downright exhausting.

Back to the fun stuff… are you curious to know how more about my personal facial relationship?  Oh good, me too!  First off let me say I think the Scottish is dreamy.  He has an adorable face, and I would NOT consider us to be part of the bi-facial crowd, but I am a tad biased of course.  After hearing the radio show I did ask the Scottish to rate my face (asking for disaster I know!) and he gave me a 8.5, which I agree with for the most part!  (Please refrain from commenting, I’m a fragile artist type.)  The Scottish gave himself a mid-range number and I raised it to a 7 because well, he’s way sexier than he gives himself credit for!  We are comfortable with this arrangement and consider both of our faces to be just right for us.  🙂

WARNING:  Do not try this at home!  Do not ask your significant other how they would rate the attractiveness of your face if you don’t want to hear the answer! Things could get ugly (hehe).  The Scottish and I have a very candid and open relationship.  We discuss a lot of things lightly and with humor so for us this was FUNNY.  Do not compare your faces if you don’t think it will be FUNNY, or if you think you will have the lower number.  Duh.

The other fascinating thing about the radio conversation with all the women callers was that their men’s ratings when down the longer they sat on hold.  Multiple women said, I was gonna give him a 4, but I just decided he’s a 3.  What??  Either they were being nice with the first number or they wanted to widen the gap to add some drama, either way it was hilarious.  One woman said she was 8 and I believe she gave her husband a 2.5.  When asked why so low, she said, “Well his obesity has a lot to do with it.”  Umm, yea, you think?

So I was looking for an example of a bi-facial relationship on the good ol’ internet.  Let me just say that you should never under any circumstances type in the words ugly man into a search engine. It is not pleasant!! I’m still sort of gagging.  But we need an example!

Here is a picture of a famous couple, or at least I think they are famous (I don’t follow celebs besides the Kardashians and the families on TLC).   Do you see the bi-facialness?

photo found at Unfinished Man

Quote: “One must love humanity in order to reach out into the unique essence of each individual: no one can be too low or too ugly.” Georg Buchner

I’m a weirdo, what can I say?

16 May

Doesn’t everyone have their odd habit or two?  Isn’t that what makes us unique… or is that just what I tell myself!  HA.  I think we should all embrace the super bizarre things we do, laugh at them, and then continue doing them. I know I will.

In no particular order:

I have been known, on more than one occasion, to eat chocolate candies WHILST working out.  Immediate rewards for burning calories or just plain stupid?  You decide.

I prefer to eat all dairy products with a plastic spoon, this includes but is not limited to yogurt and ice cream.  In fact, I’ll go a step weirder and say I prefer plasticware to silverware.  Although I will be registering for latter, I secretly wish the former was more acceptable.  Sidenote: The biggest pet peeve of the Scottish is when my teeth clink on the silverware while I’m eating.  The sound doesn’t bother me, but since I prefer plastic anyway we are thinking we might start keeping two sets of cutlery in the house.

My least favorite thing about a big city is the traffic and lack of parking!  Parking is really brutal in some parts of Chicago and one of my friends likes to laugh at me because if I am driving to a party, or some type social event and I can’t find anywhere to park, I’ll just drive home.  I’ll get all the way there, circle for about 15-20 minutes, and then give up and drive all the way back home.  A true Chicagoan always finds parking, and I’m getting better at it these days, but there was a time when I was new to the city and would miss out on things because I couldn’t find a place to leave my car!

Sometimes I daydream so long in the shower that I’m completely behind schedule and find myself racing around the house to finish getting ready.  I love a scalding hot shower and it’s one of my favorite places to daydream and imagine.

My obsessive compulsive tendencies make it so I have trouble skimming or skipping parts when reading ANYTHING.  I have to read every blog entry in my reader.  If I start a magazine, I must look at every article.  If there’s a forward, preview, prologue, appendix, epilogue, etc to a book, i will always read them.  Sometimes I wish I could skip things, but my brain won’t let me!!

I’d rather clean a toilet than cook a 5 course meal any day of the week!

I hate bugs, sleeping outside, dirt, and eating at a picnic table but I LOVE camping with my family every summer!  My Dad grew up camping and my parents have taken us camping every year since I was young, it was definitely the most cost-effective way to vacation in a family of five and a great way to explore the United States.  This self-proclaimed girly-girl has on more than one occasion walked almost a mile to the bathroom, gone hiking through rough terrain and has spent days without doing her hair or make-up.  Going camping is one of my favorite times of the year, believe it or not.

My tent.  Just kidding, I don’t sleep in tents!  We have a pop-up tent camper that allows me to sleep off the ground, a princess is a princess after all.

This is more like it!

I tend to sob-cry when watching TV.  It doesn’t matter which show, it could be Friends or Undercover Boss, but something will spark my emotional side and suddenly I’m in tears.  The best time EVER was when I saw the movie UP (for the second time I might add) at home with the Scottish.  I started sob-crying during the opening scene with Mr. Fredricksen and his wife.  At first, the Scottish thought I was in pain or hurt, he was worried that I was convulsing in such a way that was not normal, but nope, that’s just how I sob-cry.  After he realized I was OK, he starts laughing hysterically at the absurdity of the situation.  Then I start laughing and soon I’m sob-crying-laughing and there is just snot everywhere.  That’s love.

Quote: “Is it weird in here or is it just me?”  Stephen Wright

Sorry for the lack of frequency on Drama Happens but managing two blogs is quite time-consuming (I think I need an intern!) and the wedding blog is getting much more of my time right now!  But don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be more weird stories to come!  🙂  Til then!

The dreaded “M” word or Fight #1 about Money

5 May

Friday morning I groggily walked into the bathroom to start my shower, and I heard this buzzing sound. Seriously? We have had the same GIANT fly circling in our bedroom/bathroom area for about three days now. To quote one of my all-time favorite movies, Austin Powers, when his deadly weapons continually fail to kill one of Dr. Evil’s assassins, he screams in confusion, “Why won’t you die?”  This is how I feel about the fly. The fly isn’t smart enough to find the exit and with a garden apartment, we don’t ever open the windows, so he’s stuck in our house until he dies. And I’m thinking, What if he’s starving to death? I feel bad, we should get a fly swatter and kill him to put him out of his misery. Oh no, what if he dies on our bed!  That would be terrible. I wonder if he is frightened because he is so trapped. He’s a fly so maybe he doesn’t know he’s going to die. Poor little, ugly fly.

As my heart begins to race in worry over the feelings concerning a FLY, it hits me, I worry about the world’s STUPIDEST things. It’s true.  And embarrassing.

But since I am an equal-opportunity worrier,  I also worry about important things.  I worry about flies and I worry about MONEY.

photo courtesy of wmpu.org

I mean, come on, who doesn’t?

The Scottish and I went to a Financial Planning small group through our church this past week and boy did it spark some conversation! Remind me to yell at thank my friends for inviting us. 🙂  We spent the entire car ride home plus another hour and 15 minutes fighting about priorities and budgets.  Hey, at least it got us talking, right?  The Scottish and I communicate really well and have discussed money in the past, even sharing personal things such as the activity of our bank accounts, but now that it is officially (almost) time for us to put our funds together and to voice our financial goals, it seems we are struggling to get on the same page.

We both agree on simple ideas like, savings = good, and debt = bad.  But there’s more to it than that!  Plus, while I enter our marriage with a condo and a car, I also bring in a lot of student debt.   The Scottish is the one who has admirable amounts of money in savings, but can’t get a credit card with more than a 300 dollar limit because of a lack of credit history in this country.  Our difference of opinion stems from the fact that I was brought up sort of “you can’t take it with you” style/spend the money on people you love while you have it, and the Scottish was taught to think long-term, to be ready for any crisis, and to be practical.  As this financial leader guy told us in the video we watched during small group, “there’s always the free spirit and the nerd.”  Can you guess who is who??

I can’t get into any more details, you know, money is kind of private, but I will say, we have the same goals and thoughts about money but we want to take different routes to get there.  While our conversation the other night was heated, it was also productive.  We might have fought the night of the small group but we both calmed down and by the next night we were able to sit down and make a tentative monthly budget.  And there wasn’t any fighting!  This small group brought up tons of great ideas, cash flow plans, a will, retirement, college funds, emergency funds, snowballing your debt, etc.  I think we just got overwhelmed at first, because, hello, THERE IS A LOT TO DO.  Not to mention, tack on a name change, a landlord situation, and a green-card to our list of To-DO’s.

Naturally, that first night I really wanted to go to bed mad at my Scottish.  The entire disagreement was filled with snappy comments, rude glares, and a bit of shouting.  Finally, too exhausted to talk anymore, I went to bed.  But after 5 minutes of being alone, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love him.  And how he should know that even in the middle of a fight.  It was just one talk, one disagreement, or as I like to call it, “Fight #1 about Money,” because I know enough about being married that it won’t be our last fight about the “M” word.  But if I had to pick someone to fight with (and my mom was busy) I’d definitely pick the Scottish.  🙂

So I dragged myself back out to the living room for a hug.

Me: “I love you.  Are you still annoyed with me?

Scottish: “Yea, a little.”

Me: “Yea me too. You coming to bed soon?”

Scottish: “Yea, you go lay down, I’ll be there in a minute.”

*kiss*

Quote: “Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.” Groucho Marx

Why Do I Look so Fat in Pictures Part 2

2 May

As you may or may not know, when you are looking for a certain type of advice or information on the internet the easiest way to find it is to enter your inquiry into the search tab and click enter. If you are searching for a particular blog about a specific topic, the same situation applies. At WordPress.com they track the phrases people type in that brings them to your blog. I kid you not, the most searched for phrase that directs people to my blog is,

WHY DO I LOOK SO FAT IN PICTURES?

… (waiting for the laugher to subside) Color me surprised! My most commonly searched phrase has nothing to do with relationships or weddings or family or religion or even Kim Kardashian.

I can’t say that I’m shocked, since my previous post with that exact title was my way of sharing with you all that I had joined Weight Watchers. Well since then I have fallen off the WW wagon, but fortunately I am still down the 13 pounds I lost when I first started. The points system just became too dreary and stupid, plus after going to Scotland and ignoring my diet, I got lazy and indifferent.

Despite all that, I’m feeling pretty darn good about my body these days. I’m still watching what I eat and some days I enter my points (most days I don’t) and I’m still working out when I can. But the issue that haunted me back then is haunting me still, and I can’t help but ask, WHY DO I LOOK SO FAT IN PICTURES? Remember my friend who recently got married, and remember how I was the Maid of Honor? Well she sent us a link to some of the pictures that her photographers posted online. And I was literally taken aback, practically falling off my stool in fright! The first picture I’m in is one where I’m helping the bride put on her veil. My upper body looks like I’ve gained about 20 pounds, no joke. My arms are huge and floppy, my one boob is bulging out and I’m looking wider than ever. WHHHHYYYYY!!!!!

Talk about disappointing. I was feeling good and I thought I looked good. So I sent the link to the Scottish, my mother, and best friend, asking their unbiased honest opinions. They said maybe the cut of that dress wasn’t the best on you, and they thought that specific picture was a bit off but I looked great in the rest of them. Ahh, suspicions confirmed! Clearly I look like a curvy, gorgeous, model in REAL life but in pictures I’m the extra-large version of myself! Or is the camera adding ten pounds and a dose of reality?

In related news, I’ve come to the conclusion that I LOVE food more than I HATE working out. I’ve discovered that both an aversion to working out and an obsession with sweets is a deadly combination. Therefore, I’m going to amp up the calorie burning so I can maintain the joy I feel from eating. Mmmm food. Food.is.so.good.

Did I mention the one thing I’m splurging on for the wedding is photography? By splurging I don’t mean spending copious amounts of money, rather I won’t be penny-pinching my photographer or going with the cheapest option. I won’t be having my guests DIY the photos with disposable cameras, or limiting our photographers to a certain number of hours. I want the whole day captured and I want our story told.

Yes, I’m so cliché it hurts, right? I want to lose weight for my wedding like every other bride-to-be on the planet! BUT NO, that is not how I see it.

I love my curves and my shape, but I need to tone up. I want to get those prints back from my photographer and not utter a single complaint (which is hard because we are all our own biggest critics when it comes to our bodies). Instead of screaming, WHY DO I LOOK SO FAT IN PICTURES? I want to scream, WOW, I LOOK SO GOOD IN THESE PICTURES!!

Can I do it? Any tips out there??

Quote: “I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” Marsha Doble

I’m a church-crier and other embarrassing confessions from this weekend

29 Apr

I took out a five-year-old. At work on Friday, I was taking little Becca to a Spanish camp placement visit in Oak Park (a suburb very close to the city). I printed out directions (despite having lived in Oak Park for a full year) and followed them, which was my first mistake, because they took me through downtown which was miserable with traffic. I should have taken the freeway, but soon it was too late to switch routes and we were running LATE. I called the place and said we’d be there soon but I really, really hate being late, so I wanted to get there as soon as possible. After we’d parked and paid the meter, Becca and I crossed the street and I suggested we run. We rarely run, because running is stupid and Becca prefers to run at recess, not when being asked. But she knew we were late so she agreed. We started running and the stupid uneven sidewalk paired with my inherent klutzy-ness caused me to trip and fall to the ground taking poor Becca down with me! We were holding hands and there was no escaping our double-fall. She started to cry, and we examined our wounds while the homeless guy down at the corner shouted to us, “Are you OK?” I replied that yes, we were fine while attempting to soothe a teary-eyed Becca, getting her laugh it off and suggested that Nini had learned her lesson, no running in Oak Park!! We brushed ourselves off and got back to it, this time, walking briskly but not running. We passed the homeless guy who started to say, “Ma’am, would you—,” I cut him off saying “Sorry, we’re in a hurry Mister.” He says, “Yea you in hurry, that’s why you tripped.” Well played homeless man, well played.

lovely (older) photo of Becca and I

I pissed off my neighbor. In my condo building lives this sweet older woman across the hall. Her name is Fran. When she first saw me moving in back in 2009 she assumed I was another renter because the condo was getting renovated at the time. Nope, that was all me! I bought it! Fran was happy to learn this because she did not like having renters moving in and out year after year (the previous owner had used my junior one bedroom as a rental property.) Over the last three years, Fran and I have exchanged Christmas cookies and causal conversation. I’m kind of an excellent tenant, if I do say so myself. My idea of hosting a party is having girls over for wine and girl talk. The last few months I’ve barely been home because I’ve been nesting with the Scottish in our apartment on the other side of the city. Well, as the Scottish and I were clearing out my place yesterday we ran into Fran, still in her dressing gown at 2 PM I might add, and we started chatting with her. She asked what we were doing and I said I’m moving in with the Scottish because we got engaged! Yay! She was excited and happy for us! Then she asks, “So are you going to sell the place?” I say, “Nope, we’re going to get a renter in here sometime in August.” Cut to the most crestfallen woman I’ve ever seen. It was like she’d be told her dog died. A RENTER!?!??! HOW AWFUL!!! She recovered with, “Well, much happiness to you both, and then promptly shut the door. Awkward city. So I’m currently seeking really nice, super quiet and perhaps even boring, squeaky clean person who is hardly ever home to rent my condo and keep elderly neighbor happy at the same time… sigh.

AFTER

I cried in church. I’m a church-crier, it’s true. I feel like I’ve shared this little nugget on “Drama Happens” once before but I’ll share it again. I realize I’m quite the obnoxious over-sharer and but this specific confession really brings everyone’s judgy-eyes out. “You cry in church? But… why?!!?!?” It is weird. I tend to cry at about 90% of the sermons I hear and I don’t even know why! I guess it’s triggered by a sweet personal story, or a quote or phrase that makes me think, or when something reminds me of one the relationships in my life. Whatever the reason, if I feel intense emotion (good or bad) my eyes start to fill up. I’ve gotten quite good at blinking the tears away or letting them pool until I can get a good swipe of my hand up to my face to wipe them away all at once. Still, it gets tricky. And it’s just a very public place in a very quiet room and suddenly I feel like all eyes are on me and public display of emotion. If anything, it gives the Scottish more comedic material. Aren’t I the nicest?

Does anyone else do something really embarrassing that is kind of odd?

Quote: “But I learned that there’s a certain character that can be built from embarrassing yourself endlessly. If you can sit happy with embarrassment, there’s not much else that can really get to ya.” Christian Bale

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