Archive | Family RSS feed for this section

Two most important aspects of an intimate relationship are God and Sex

26 Jun

HA! ¬†This blog post has nothing to do with God OR Sex but I got your attention didn’t I? ūüôā ¬†Thanks for reading and my sincere apologies for the long absence. ¬†Truthfully, I think about “Drama Happens” A LOT, and I miss writing about relationships, but blogging about my wedding and actually planning the wedding, at the same time, proves to be quite time-consuming.

But I have something to say about a VERY important relationship in my life.  Probably one of the most important ones EVER.

My Mommy. ¬†ūüôā ¬†(She is the reason behind my title.) ¬†Let me paint the picture: Best Friend and I are sitting on my couch in our family room chatting with my Mother. ¬†My Mother is someone who swears by saying “Oh Sugar!” and “Fish Face!!” ¬†My Mother doesn’t drink alcohol, coffee, OR pop… yes it baffles us all. ¬†My Mother has wanted to be a teacher all her life and my Grandmother jokes that she came out of the womb telling people what to do. ¬†My Mother donates infinite amounts of time and resources to her church and community. ¬†She brings God and forgiveness to inmates at a prison in southern Minnesota and she inspires us all DAILY. ¬†She has her flaws, I mean, no one is perfect, but if you asked me to show the most well-rounded, loving, joyful, respectful, caring, compassionate person I knew it would be my Mother. Hands down.

Back to the couch and my Mother’s most awkward words of wisdom ever! ¬†Best Friend and I are in the middle of male relationship strife no doubt (I honestly can’t remember at this point) and we were asking my Mom about the secret to a happy marriage and she said the two most important parts are God and Sex. CUE EMBARRASSMENT! ¬†Ewww Mom, who says that? ¬†My guess is she barely remembers this convo since it happened years ago and my other guess is that she’s a tiny bit embarrassed that I shared it with you all, but I think she’s right. ¬†She’s one smart Momma.

Despite the random side story, I have no intentions of talking about marriage, Sex, or God (also I don’t know why I keep capitalizing Sex as if it’s super important but regardless I’m just gonna go with it now). ¬†I want to talk about my awesome Mother and the journey I took to realizing her awesomeness.

It all started back when I was little (and adorable or so I’ve heard) and my Mom thought I was an amazing kid.

Age 0-10: I’m cute, I’m talkative, I’m her biggest fan, I’m happy all the time, and I’m fun! ¬†My Mom and I get along swimmingly.

Age 10-18: I’m obnoxious, I’m talkative, I’m depressed, I’m angry, I’m going through puberty, I’m a crazy person, I’m mean and say things like “I hate you!” to my Mother. ¬†My Sister and I fight constantly, leaving our little Brother to complement running away from home. ¬†We are awful teenage girls and it’s a wonder we all survived! Ok, I am being a bit dramatic, but at this point in time my relationship with my Mother reaches an all-time low. (Yes, it all started back in 4th grade believe it or not!)

Age 18-22: I’m selfish, I’m talkative, I’m finding my way as a student and an artist. ¬†I’m getting my heart broken and making bad decisions, and I’m making some good decisions. ¬†Most importantly, my Mother and I are reaching a new level of understanding. ¬†I’m excited for her to visit, I’m starting to listen to her advice, I’m becoming more aware of the world around me, and life is good.

Age 22-27: ¬†I’m learning, I’m talkative, I’m trying new and exciting things, and I’m calling my Mom a lot! ¬†I crave her advice and her words that always seem to make it better. ¬†I look forward to every trip home to see family in Minnesota and North Dakota and can’t get enough of just hanging out with them. ¬†My Mother is suddenly the smartest person I know and she’s continually right about everything! ¬†Our relationship is thriving.

Age 28 or Present Day: ¬†My Mother is helping me plan my wedding to the Scottish and it’s one of the best years of my life. ¬†We are in¬†sync, we are inspired, we are happy, we are laughing, we are making smart decisions, and we are enjoying every single minute!

This is a pretty crazy time for my family with TWO weddings planned for 2013. ¬†If you don’t know me in real face-to-face life, or you’ve never visited my wedding blog, Journey to “i do”¬†then this might be news for you, but my little Sister got engaged over Memorial Day weekend and is getting married next June, which is almost exactly 3 months and one week after my wedding. ¬†Sounds stressful doesn’t it? ¬†Not for my Mom. Everyone who comes up to her with condolences about the fact that she must be SO busy or SO tired or SO overwhelmed gets the same response, “Oh I’m thrilled!” she says. ¬†And she means it too. My Mom couldn’t be more excited or happy for us, our weddings, and our future husbands. ¬†She is having the time of her life!

And it’s her positive attitude¬†that has gotten me through some low moments of not wanting to share the year ahead and some sad moments of missing out on things because I can only get back to Minnesota so many times. ¬†The truth is, I’m overjoyed and excited too! ¬†My Sister and I get to plan our weddings¬†simultaneously and it’s a huge blessing that I will cherish forever!

So there you have it, an Ode to my Mother. ¬†The best woman I know, the most patient wedding planner EVER, the drier of tears and the giver of smiles. ¬†Mom, I wouldn’t be where I am today without your love and support. ¬†I’m the luckiest girl alive and we’re gonna have one hell of a year. ¬†Cheers!

Quote: “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. ¬†They have clung to me all my life.” ¬†Abraham Lincoln

Advertisements

I’m a weirdo, what can I say?

16 May

Doesn’t everyone have their odd habit or two? ¬†Isn’t that what makes us unique… or is that just what I tell myself! ¬†HA. ¬†I think we should all embrace the super bizarre things we do, laugh at them, and then continue doing them. I know I will.

In no particular order:

I have been known, on more than one occasion, to eat chocolate candies WHILST working out.  Immediate rewards for burning calories or just plain stupid?  You decide.

I prefer to eat all dairy products with a plastic spoon, this includes but is not limited to yogurt and ice cream. ¬†In fact, I’ll go a step weirder and say I prefer plasticware to silverware. ¬†Although I will be registering for latter, I secretly wish the former was more acceptable. ¬†Sidenote: The biggest pet peeve of the Scottish is when my teeth clink on the silverware while I’m eating. ¬†The sound doesn’t bother me, but since I prefer plastic anyway we are thinking we might start keeping two sets of cutlery in the house.

My least favorite thing about a big city is the traffic and lack of parking! ¬†Parking is really brutal in some parts of Chicago and one of my friends likes to laugh at me because if I am driving to a party, or some type social event and I can’t find anywhere to park, I’ll just drive home. ¬†I’ll get all the way there, circle for about 15-20 minutes, and then give up and drive all the way back home. ¬†A true Chicagoan always finds parking, and I’m getting better at it these days, but there was a time when I was new to the city and would miss out on things because I couldn’t find a place to leave my car!

Sometimes I daydream so long in the shower that I’m completely behind schedule and find myself racing around the house to finish getting ready. ¬†I love a scalding hot shower and it’s one of my favorite places to daydream and imagine.

My obsessive compulsive¬†tendencies make it so I have trouble skimming or skipping parts when reading ANYTHING. ¬†I have to read every blog entry in my reader. ¬†If I start a magazine, I must look at every article. ¬†If there’s a forward, preview, prologue, appendix, epilogue, etc to a book, i will always read them. ¬†Sometimes I wish I could skip things, but my brain won’t let me!!

I’d rather clean a toilet than cook a 5 course meal any day of the week!

I hate bugs, sleeping outside, dirt, and eating at a picnic table but I LOVE camping with my family every summer!  My Dad grew up camping and my parents have taken us camping every year since I was young, it was definitely the most cost-effective way to vacation in a family of five and a great way to explore the United States.  This self-proclaimed girly-girl has on more than one occasion walked almost a mile to the bathroom, gone hiking through rough terrain and has spent days without doing her hair or make-up.  Going camping is one of my favorite times of the year, believe it or not.

My tent. ¬†Just kidding, I don’t sleep in tents! ¬†We have a pop-up tent camper that allows me to sleep off the ground, a princess is a princess after all.

This is more like it!

I tend to sob-cry when watching TV. ¬†It doesn’t matter which show, it could be Friends or Undercover Boss, but something will spark my emotional side and suddenly I’m in tears. ¬†The best time EVER was when I saw the movie UP (for the second time I might add) at home with the Scottish. ¬†I started sob-crying during the opening scene with Mr. Fredricksen and his wife. ¬†At first, the Scottish thought I was in pain or hurt, he was worried that I was convulsing in such a way that was not normal, but nope, that’s just how I sob-cry. ¬†After he realized I was OK, he starts laughing hysterically at the absurdity of the situation. ¬†Then I start laughing and soon I’m sob-crying-laughing and there is just snot everywhere. ¬†That’s love.

Quote: “Is it weird in here or is it just me?” ¬†Stephen Wright

Sorry for the lack of frequency on Drama Happens but managing two blogs is quite time-consuming (I think I need an intern!) and the wedding blog¬†is getting much more of my time right now! ¬†But don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be more weird stories to come! ¬†ūüôā ¬†Til then!

Here’s hoping my babies come out with a Scottish accent

9 May

This is a relationship blog and there is a relationship I have yet to discuss on here that I’d like to talk about. I would like to discuss my feelings about children, specifically my own. Please do not freak out, no one is pregnant. Well no one is pregnant who is writing this blog. But someone (me) is planning a wedding and starting to nest, and feeling excited about the notion of having little ones in her future. When I look lovingly into the Scottish’s eyes and tell him I want to have his babies, the fear in the room is almost palpable. He gazes back at me and in an unsteady voice, says, “Not for a long time hunny.” OH NO. IT’S LIKE THE PROPOSAL ALL OVER AGAIN. This wonderful man I’m going to marry moves slower than any human being I know. He doesn’t do anything quick or rash, all moves must be calculated and planned years and years in advance. Meanwhile my biological clock ticking and the noise is really starting to bug me. My clock sort of revved up after getting engaged and while it starts off trying to be nice, it usually ends up yelling at me. My clock: “Umm excuse me, umm, your body was made to procreate, and umm, well, all of us here in this pale vessel would like to say, GIVE US SOMETHING TO NURTURE *GOD DAMNIT!” Of course it’s fitting that my biological clock is overly dramatic like myself.

 

 

I’ve decided the best way to explain my feelings on having children would be to fill out the Who, What, Where, Why, When and How Many of it all. Sort of like an English paper outline. Enjoy!

So, WHO? Well, if possible I’d like to have a Scottish-American kid, with an ideal mix being 60% Scottish and 40% American, because those Scots just eat whatever they want and don’t worry about a thing, plus they are the most laid-back culture I’ve ever been around! As long as the kiddos get some of my passion, drive, and at least one artistic quality, we’ll be all set. If for some reason I need to adopt (ps I think adoption is awesome) then I think an African-American boy and an Asian girl would be adorable.

WHAT? Human children please.

WHERE? This is a great question. I would like to have my kids live in Chicago because it’s kind of my favorite city of all time, but I would also like to be near my family when I raise my kids. So either Chicago or Minnesota… at this point I’m not sure the Scottish could fathom moving to an even colder climate, but the lure of free babysitting has to hold some weight, right? Ultimately, I will have my kids in the Midwest. Ain’t no better place for kid-raising the way I see it.

WHY? This is an even better question. Besides just the biological clock, I most simply want a family of my very own to dream, love, and grow with. I love my family, immediate, extended, and honorary, and I want to create my own little unit with new special traditions and memories. I want to put more awesome people in the world. People who will respect the earth and their fellow human beings, people who will not discriminate based on sexuality or race or physical condition, and people who add to the quality of life for those around them. So, you know, just to have a little mini-me walking around… just kidding, I’d kill her.

WHEN? Let’s just say if I found out I was preggers by our first anniversary in March 2014, I would not be upset! Although, I have to say, it’d be nice to have more than a year to worry about Number One (me), and as a nanny I get an insight into the raising of kids and since it really is life-changing there is no need to rush. On the other hand, I’m super excited and not sure how long I’ll be able to wait! I’m hoping the Scottish isn’t having a heart attack on the train right now as he reads this on his way home. His ideal is like years from now after we have a house and enough money saved up to send them all to Harvard. AS IF!

HOW MANY? I say 2-3 and the Scottish says 1-2. But I want to have two girls (sisterly love is the best and the worst all at the same time) and I also want to have a little boy, so three kids would be nice. But a family of four sits together so well on theme park rides and airplanes, plus one more kid = one more flight to Scotland, and we know those trips are gonna add up!! But on the other hand, I come from a family of three, and so does my mom

Two things I know for sure, I don’t want to have an only child, and I don’t want to have three boys. If we have two boys and start trying for a third, I’ll probably spend our life savings flying around the globe looking for the best method to ensure our next kid is a female. Cause at that point I’ll be the desperate mother of two boys and I’ll most likely already have a reputation of being crazy.

Overall, I will consider us blessed no matter what the gender, number, or Scottish-American mix our children have, but frankly that doesn’t make for a very fun blog post. ¬†For the ladies out there, when did your clock start ticking?!?!?! ¬†Or maybe it hasn’t, that’s OK too!!

* I do not take the Lord’s name in vain when speaking but I take a lot of liberties when writing and it just sounded better to say GOD DAMNIT than GOSH DAMNIT. Luckily for me, God has a sense of humor.

Quote: “There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.” Walt Streightiff

It’s official, my Groom has something to wear!

11 Apr

BIG, VERY EXCITING NEWS… our tartan has been designed AND ordered.
(insert applause and sigh of relief here)

One of the main wedding-oriented tasks we wanted to accomplish on our trip to Scotland was the making of this tartan. After much encouragement from American family and friends, I was surprised when the Scottish’s friends were the ones who thought it was a little unnecessary and over-the-top. I guess it makes sense, their culture doesn’t buy into the crazy, big weddings that we do on this side of the pond and while they are all so excited to come to the wedding, they are just being practical and I totally understand that.

But since making a family tartan was deemed “top of the list important” to the Scottish and I, on the day after my arrival the Scottish and I sat down at a website that not only let us pick our colors but also arrange each color at different widths. We decided to follow a pattern we liked so that our tartan had a good chance of looking somewhat normal. Our colors were taken from the wedding theme and I’m thrilled with the result.

Once the kilt was designed, the Scottish went online to register it. We recently found out that we can’t use just the Scottish’s surname because your clan/family name would have to be registered by the the Court of the Lord Lyon in Edinburgh and that is usually reserved for historic family clans that already have tartans. And I totally get that, plus we can’t just make a kilt for every person with that last name, but we CAN make it specific to our branch of the Scottish’s last name. The woman at the Scottish Register of Tartans suggested we use both of our last names with a hyphen in between. So not only will my new last name be associated with the kilt but also my maiden name, pretty cool right?

We have to wait about a month and a half before it arrives but I can promise you there will be a follow-up post with more details.

For now, I am really excited and here’s why:
1) It’s the Scottish’s first kilt!! He’s never worn one before and I’m happy to announce that he’ll be wearing his personalized kilt for the first time on our wedding day.

2) We now have a family tartan!! For those of you who’ve read about my kilt woes then you understand how much I wanted this special element of his culture to be incorporated into the wedding. I picture us passing down the tartan from generation to generation, and it’s my way of embracing his country and it’s traditions (which isn’t always easy with us living in the US).

3) This is one more thing we can check off the wedding to-do list! Usually it’s the bride who orders her dress first because of the time it takes to get in and altered, but in our case, the Scottish got to join in the joys of formal-wear-ordering-fun.

Before I unveil the design, here are a few tartans we looked at for inspiration.

Rangers Tartan

Colhoun Tartan

Those are both lovely but it’s time for the big reveal and without further ado, HERE IS OUR NEW FAMILY TARTAN:

(insert last name here) Tartan

Unfortunately it’s a small photo and it’s nearly impossible to see all the different lines of color, but the majority of the tartan alternates between plum and a forest green. I’m sooo curious to see how the colors look in person!

Finally, I know it’s not good etiquette to talk about money and budget when pertaining to the wedding but I pride myself on the honesty of this blog and I like to express gratitude when it’s due. The Scottish and I are grateful to his parents for helping with the monetary expenses of buying a custom-designed kilt, and want them and everyone to know how special they are to us.

Quote: “KILT, n. A costume sometimes worn by Scotchmen in America and Americans in Scotland.” Ambrose Bierce

THE HUNGER GAMES in SCOTLAND

7 Apr

I’m on holiday, escaping away across the pond to see the Scottish and his family. I’ve been enjoying the company of my future-in-laws in this beautiful country (despite crappy weather). I have been taking the train into Glasgow with the Scottish to meet friends for dinner and drinks, I’ve gone shopping, and I have read all three Hunger Games books in succession. It’s a marathon, not a sprint!!

I will share updates on the kilt and other things when I’m back in Chicago but for now, all I can think about is Katniss and the others. I have been extra emotional and frightened this week due to reading the books AND seeing the first film of the series. I need the light on when I walk to the bathroom and I’m constantly hearing weird noises in the house, clearly they must be pods ready to detonate on me. Most people can separate books from reality but not me. Yet another side effect of my crazy brain.

(Note to self: go back to reading Amish love stories, they will not break you.)

Looking forward to my return but not rushing my week of relaxing! Until then friends!!! ūüôā

Quote: “May the odds be ever in your favor.” The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins

Like, DUH!

30 Mar

These are the things I think about prior to leaving the country:

1. I’m really excited. I get to see my favorite person in a few days!
2. Will I find the energy to clean the bathrooms before I leave so I can come home to a clean house?
3. Cookies to eat on the flight? Check.
4. How the HECK are we going to locate a weaver and order a custom-made kilt in one week’s time? I don’t even know where to begin. Is this even possible?
5. I can’t wait to spend time with my future-in-laws.
6. I should really start packing.
7. But I hate packing.
8. Do I have enough candy for the long flight? Yes. Good.
9. What coat do I bring?
10. I can’t wait to use my new KATE SPADE passport holder I received as an engagement gift from my lovely friend. SH!$!!! Where is my actual passport? Oh really? I never tried to locate it once I knew I was going across the pond? Where is it? *GASP,* it’s at my condo of course! The last time I used it was last June and it’s still there but all of my stuff is here in the apartment (on the other side of the city) and my car is not with me! Stephanie, you are leaving the country. YOU NEED YOUR PASSPORT. THE SCOTTISH HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT HIS VISA AND PASSPORT FOR OVER A WEEK, GET IT TOGETHER. GO TO YOUR CONDO AND GET YOUR PASSPORT.
11. I still hate packing, I guess I’ll write a blog post.
12. Who can I pay to pack for me?
13. I’ll just throw out everything in the fridge that could possibly go bad so I don’t have to come home to a nasty smell.

NOTE: I did retrieve my passport (thankyoubosslady) and I am all set and ready to go to Scotland tomorrow (minus the packing of course)! Hoping I can update from there otherwise pics will be posted after I get back!!

photo courtesy of http://www.bridefinds.com

Quote: “I was just totally clueless.” Cher Horowitz, Clueless

Fat Bastard is my favorite fictional Scottish Character

18 Mar

“Get in mah belly!!!” I’m quite good at reciting this line from my all-time favorite movie series EVER, Austin Powers. I think Mike Meyers is a comedic genius and that trilogy has been making me laugh for as long as I can remember. My brother and I used to entertain the family with lines from the movies while we sat around a campfire roasting marshmallows. Good times. And while I can very succinctly replicate Fat Bastard’s accent, I am a big failure when it comes to copying my fianc√©’s Scottish accent. I always seem to sound British cockney or Australian, Irish, or just plain mentally ill. However, my interpretation of his accent is always good for a laugh and last night while drinking beers with our friends who were in town from Minnesota, we came up with the moronic brilliant idea that at our wedding, the Scottish should thank everyone in an American accent, and I should thank everyone in a Scottish accent. That way our toasts will surely be memorable.

It got me thinking less about my venue stress and more about how I want to incorporate as much Scottish tradition into the wedding as possible. Thanks to Best Friend, I found a website called “Scottish Wedding Dream,” and finally have found some time to explore it and since I was exploring I thought I would share my findings with you, my readers. Below you’ll find a few gems that I figured were worth sharing in a segment called Traditions Part One.

All quotes are taken from here: I hope you like Tartans.

Traditions Part One
Handfasting. I love being engaged and I love that I get almost a year to prepare for marriage and to enjoy my final days of being legally single before I commit to the love of my life. Back in the medieval times in Scotland, they had a similar engagement period known as handfasting. It’s essential marks the start of a “trial-run” of the marriage and the bride and groom’s hands are tied together with a cord or cloth of tartan pledging themselves to each other. One year and one day later they decide to either stay together and have a wedding or to separate. And being very egalitarian about it, either party could decide not to go through with it. My favorite reason behind handfasting is this:
“There were practical reasons for this arrangement. Children were needed to work in the father‚Äôs trade. During this year, the bride‚Äôs fertility, or lack thereof, could be determined.” So basically it’s like the modern-day couple living together before getting married, but without birth control since the goal is procreation. OH how times have changed.

Surnames. The whole idea of taking the man’s last name is such a personal thing that I don’t think any woman should feel bad no matter what she chooses. Some feminists consider changing your name to be a step back for women everywhere, whereas some conservative brides consider it a disrespectful act to keep your maiden name. I don’t care what anyone else does, but I have decided to change my name. To me, it’s a symbolic act that outwardly shows the joining of my life with the Scottish. Plus, my mom took my dad’s name, and it makes me feel good to follow that tradition. Why should me taking my future husband’s name have anything to do with my views on gender equality? I still am who I am regardless of my last name, and I plan to become famous either way. ūüôā
On a peculiar and interesting note, Scottish tradition states that it’s bad luck if couples share the same first letter of their last names. It is eloquently explained in this rhyme:
“To change the name
and not the letter
Is to change for the worst
and not the better.”

Umm, yea, doubtful… BUT I am going from an “L” to a “C” just to stay on the good side of my Scottish luck. ūüôā

Stag and Hen Parties. Translation: Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties!! WHOO-HOOO!! Since I’ve known the Scottish he has always referred to his big event as a “Stag Do,” and it makes me feel inspired to call my upcoming girl fest a “Hen Do.” Why the heck not?? Apparently, embarrassing the groom goes back a looong time because tradition states that the groom had to carry a basket of stones on his back while walking through town (called Creelin’), unless his bride were to give him a kiss, then he could stop. What fun that sounds like… I suppose it’s not much different from the “Let’s get the groom so completely trashed and make him do stupid stuff” that happens these days. Pretty sure my Scottish would prefer to get drunk before being embarrassed.

They say the Hen Party started because people used to bring gifts for the bride-to-be’s upcoming wedding feast (sort of like a Bridal Shower?), and often times these gifts included hens. Then a few days before the wedding everyone helped pluck the hens and prepared them to be eaten. While I love the idea of having a “Hen Do,” I’m gonna go ahead and say right now that I prefer lingerie and kitchenware to poultry.

That’s it for now, but there are so many more traditions to discover. One tradition told to me by FMIL is to add a bit of white heather to your bouquet for good luck. I think that’s my favorite one so far!!

Is anyone else incorporating their heritage into their wedding planning? Or has anyone seen a cool wedding tradition in action? If so, what are they?

Quote: “The judicious bride saved these special feathers to stuff future pillows and comforters for her home.” Scottish Wedding Dreams Website

%d bloggers like this: