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Why Do I Look so Fat in Pictures Part 2

2 May

As you may or may not know, when you are looking for a certain type of advice or information on the internet the easiest way to find it is to enter your inquiry into the search tab and click enter. If you are searching for a particular blog about a specific topic, the same situation applies. At they track the phrases people type in that brings them to your blog. I kid you not, the most searched for phrase that directs people to my blog is,


… (waiting for the laugher to subside) Color me surprised! My most commonly searched phrase has nothing to do with relationships or weddings or family or religion or even Kim Kardashian.

I can’t say that I’m shocked, since my previous post with that exact title was my way of sharing with you all that I had joined Weight Watchers. Well since then I have fallen off the WW wagon, but fortunately I am still down the 13 pounds I lost when I first started. The points system just became too dreary and stupid, plus after going to Scotland and ignoring my diet, I got lazy and indifferent.

Despite all that, I’m feeling pretty darn good about my body these days. I’m still watching what I eat and some days I enter my points (most days I don’t) and I’m still working out when I can. But the issue that haunted me back then is haunting me still, and I can’t help but ask, WHY DO I LOOK SO FAT IN PICTURES? Remember my friend who recently got married, and remember how I was the Maid of Honor? Well she sent us a link to some of the pictures that her photographers posted online. And I was literally taken aback, practically falling off my stool in fright! The first picture I’m in is one where I’m helping the bride put on her veil. My upper body looks like I’ve gained about 20 pounds, no joke. My arms are huge and floppy, my one boob is bulging out and I’m looking wider than ever. WHHHHYYYYY!!!!!

Talk about disappointing. I was feeling good and I thought I looked good. So I sent the link to the Scottish, my mother, and best friend, asking their unbiased honest opinions. They said maybe the cut of that dress wasn’t the best on you, and they thought that specific picture was a bit off but I looked great in the rest of them. Ahh, suspicions confirmed! Clearly I look like a curvy, gorgeous, model in REAL life but in pictures I’m the extra-large version of myself! Or is the camera adding ten pounds and a dose of reality?

In related news, I’ve come to the conclusion that I LOVE food more than I HATE working out. I’ve discovered that both an aversion to working out and an obsession with sweets is a deadly combination. Therefore, I’m going to amp up the calorie burning so I can maintain the joy I feel from eating. Mmmm food.

Did I mention the one thing I’m splurging on for the wedding is photography? By splurging I don’t mean spending copious amounts of money, rather I won’t be penny-pinching my photographer or going with the cheapest option. I won’t be having my guests DIY the photos with disposable cameras, or limiting our photographers to a certain number of hours. I want the whole day captured and I want our story told.

Yes, I’m so clichรฉ it hurts, right? I want to lose weight for my wedding like every other bride-to-be on the planet! BUT NO, that is not how I see it.

I love my curves and my shape, but I need to tone up. I want to get those prints back from my photographer and not utter a single complaint (which is hard because we are all our own biggest critics when it comes to our bodies). Instead of screaming, WHY DO I LOOK SO FAT IN PICTURES? I want to scream, WOW, I LOOK SO GOOD IN THESE PICTURES!!

Can I do it? Any tips out there??

Quote: “I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” Marsha Doble


Back from New York Baby

8 Feb

Yay, I’m back! And I’ve missed you all! NYC was a blast. I am going to pretend this was my first visit to the big apple because in all reality my first visit was on a high school band trip and the leash they had us on was so tight that we barely had 40 minutes to explore the city. So, to me, this felt like I was losing my NYC virginity and it was great. Although I have to say I was slightly nervous to travel there by myself. After two years of traveling with the Scottish I am embarrassed to say I was a little apprehensive to go alone. Feel free to judge. I mean, all through college I flew alone. I would drive 9 hours in a car to get home, all by myself. Now I’m either used to having company all the time or I’m getting even less adventurous in my old age- if that’s possible! What can I say, I like having him there so he can watch my luggage while I go to the bathroom. And he also listens to me whine and keeps me company… but not this time!

Arriving in NYC, I immediately strip off my coat because the weather is so WARM and BEAUTIFUL. The cab driver had his windows down and it’s the first day of February. Unbelievable. The first couple of days were spent with my friend who lives in Manhattan. We did everything. We walked through Central Park, we visited the famous toy store FAO Schwarz for candy, we had high tea at the Plaza, saw the 9/11 memorial, experienced Times Square, walked the High Line, went to Brooklyn, rode a carousel, took a water taxi, went shopping, and ate tons of amazing food. This friend and I share a love of indulgence. We ate whatever we wanted when we wanted and had a blast the whole time. I got to spend visit with her and her awesome boyfriend and since she knows a ton about the city, I learned a lot. She and I had a great time catching up and laughing at ourselves.

The second friend I visited lives in a beautiful part of Queens called Astoria. It was so fun to explore her neighborhood and she took me to Rockefeller Center, Chelsea Market, and perhaps the most beautiful place in the whole city, Kleinfelds. I did a good job of NOT remembering that if I had been engaged by this trip I would have made an appointment at Kleinfelds and that maybe my dream of being on a TLC wedding show would have come to true. It really didn’t cross my mind. ๐Ÿ™‚ Anyway, this friend and I are kindred spirits as we like to say. We say the same things at the same time and laugh at the same stupid things. This is my frugal friend and I mean that in the nicest of ways. She kept me grounded and on my budget. Then another friend from the DC area met up with us and we had girly time the night before I left. This friend is getting married in October and I’m so honored to have been asked to be in her wedding! I was so lucky to be able to catch up with so many people!

So yes, New York City is amazing but I am such a Chicago-loving-freak. Here’s why:
1. They don’t have alleyways in NYC so all the trash bags go on the street in piles. It’s so gross. I can’t.
2. I can own a car in Chicago, but I could never own one in NYC. They have a great transit system but I love that I have the option of either here in Chi-town.
3. Going through Times Square was like being on crack, I couldn’t focus on one thing, I barely heard my friend talking, and I was just over-stimulated the whole time. (Sidebar: I don’t do drugs, therefore this analogy may not make any sense to those of you who do. For all I know, Times Square could be nothing like being on crack.)
4. They don’t do no-chip manicures in NYC!! Hello, what is the one princess-y thing I indulge in? It’s not my hair or my clothes, it’s my nails! NYC has to get it together cause my mani from there is awful.
5. I just love people from the Midwest and being close to my family.

So all in all, it was a successful trip and I can’t wait to go back! Just because I don’t want to live there doesn’t mean I don’t want to visit again! Next time though, I’ll bring the Scottish- not because I’m co-dependent, but because he’s never seen New York and damn it, he should.

I believe I previously mentioned that the Scottish and I were going to host a Superbowl Party. Well we did and it was a huge success! People came, people watched, people bet, people ate, and people won. It’s going to be an annual thing for us I think, I really want to be known as the couple that hosts the Superbowl Party, and next year everyone’s invited! Yay! Donations for extra-large TV begin now. ๐Ÿ™‚ Anywho, my Scottish did so well buying the groceries and helping me get ready since I was off living it up with my girls, and I owe him a huge thank-you!

This blog is all over the place but I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY! My brain wants to explode after a week and a half without writing!

If you go to NYC, go to Momofuku Milk Bar- it’s amazing.
I only gained half a pound after four days of eating what I wanted and going over my points. I walked a ton and never ate so much that I felt sick. Now I’m back on the wagon and doing well.
The 9/11 memorial is so stunning, I highly recommend visiting it when you can. It’s a great tribute to those we lost.
Thank you to my awesome friends for hosting me and making my vacation so lovely!
I developed a minor crush on a man who worked with alligators, long story, but he had a wedding ring on so it’ll never work, and it just made me miss my Scottish even more.

OK phew, I think I’m done.

Quote: “It isn’t like the rest of the country- it is like a nation itself- more tolerant than the rest in a curious way. Littleness gets swallowed up here. All the viciousness that makes other cities vicious is sucked up and absorbed in New York.” John Steinbeck

“We talk about your heart, bout your brains, and your smarts, and your medical charts, and when you start”

25 Jan

My favorite relationship of all is probably the one I have with myself. Probably. I love spending time with myself but I do find it to be frustrating at times. My brain is powerful and I’ve yet to find the off switch so it can be very exhausting to be me. I’m crazy, loud, unashamed, and intense. But overall I have to say I am a big fan of myself. Plus, I’m attractive. One of my favorite stories about my nanny kid Derek takes place while I was driving them home from school one day last year. I must have told Derek he was going to have to do something that he didn’t want to do because he playfully said that he did NOT have to listen to me because I wasn’t his mom or his dad. And I said something to the effect of, “Oh yes you do, I’m in charge right now.” To which Derek replied, “Well, but you are kind of pretty.” I have no clue how that made sense in his mind, but I’ll take it. And now it’s time to take stock of this pretty girl’s life. It’s time for an update to access how things are going. I normally do this in my head when I’m stressed out and trying to count my blessings, but in this case, it works as a blog post too.

House(s)– Apt: Feels like home after months of moving in items slowly, so much so that I have now reached the point of having to pack a bag to go BACK to my condo. It’s clean, the laundry is done, there’s food in the fridge, but I still feel like there’s a million things left to get done.
Condo: Feels empty but clean. I go back once or twice a week to check the mail, fetch things I need, or to relax and watch cable. Looking forward to the day when it will be an income property.

Job– Really good right now. I love my new schedule of working 4 ten-hour days. My mid-week day off allows me time to make appointments, clean the house, blog, work-out, and so much more. It leaves me feeling refreshed and ready to be a good nanny. Relationship with boss and kids are good, everyone’s doing well.

Boyfriend– Awwww, I love seeing him all the time. Just being in his presence calms me. We may fight (I know you’ve all read the last blog) sometimes, but I’m disgustingly happy with my Scottish.

Family– I don’t even know how I got so lucky. Immediate and extended, it’s all goooooood. I have no reason to complain…ever. It’s good to remind myself of this.

Friends– I have a lot of friends. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m spread very thin, but in the end, I just try to give as much as I can in that moment. I have an awesome best friend who I rarely see in MN, she knows the most about me of anyone, but I miss all the fun we used to have when we lived closer. I have a wonderful friend who’s planning a wedding and I’m very excited and focused on my Maid of Honor responsibilities right now. I can’t wait to celebrate her big day! I have two really lovely and special friends in New York that I can’t wait to go visit and submerge myself into their lives once again even if for a short time. I have my Sister Wives who are my local girls that make city living so amazing and fun. I don’t know where I’d be without them. And then I have artistic friends, childhood friends, old and new friends, each a unique relationship and each a blessing.

Car– HAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s an old Hyundai Elantra from 2004. I call her my silver baby, and I’m gonna drive her as long as I can. She has seen me through college and has been witness to many of my Chicago driving mistakes, but I wouldn’t want anything flashy. She’s perfect just the way she is, and she’s paid off.

Money– Oops, should have saved the laughter for this one!! ๐Ÿ™‚ Money is and will be a struggle for a while, but I’d spend my last dime on someone who I care about, and one day I hope to not have to worry about it as much as I do now.

Blog– Going well for the most part. Some weeks are better than others, and I’m very excited to see how it grows.

Acting– Auditioning and that’s all I can do.

Weight Watchers– Lost 6 pounds in total so far. It’s one of the toughest things I’ve done in my life and also pretty easy at the same time if that makes any sense. It’s well worth the slimming rewards but I’ll never give up my love of food. I rewarded myself with a candy bar last week and to quote Rapunzel in the movie, Tangled, “BEST DAY EVER!”

God– How could I forget this one until last? Maybe that says a lot about where my head has been… My mom would say your favorite relationship should be the one you have with God.

Quote: Do you know the Toby Keith song called, “I Wanna Talk About Me?” Sometimes I picture the Scottish singing this to me even though he doesn’t like country music and he would never sing this song. It’s just the words that crack me up.

“I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, What I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about meeeeeee”

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