Tag Archives: Austin Powers

The dreaded “M” word or Fight #1 about Money

5 May

Friday morning I groggily walked into the bathroom to start my shower, and I heard this buzzing sound. Seriously? We have had the same GIANT fly circling in our bedroom/bathroom area for about three days now. To quote one of my all-time favorite movies, Austin Powers, when his deadly weapons continually fail to kill one of Dr. Evil’s assassins, he screams in confusion, “Why won’t you die?”  This is how I feel about the fly. The fly isn’t smart enough to find the exit and with a garden apartment, we don’t ever open the windows, so he’s stuck in our house until he dies. And I’m thinking, What if he’s starving to death? I feel bad, we should get a fly swatter and kill him to put him out of his misery. Oh no, what if he dies on our bed!  That would be terrible. I wonder if he is frightened because he is so trapped. He’s a fly so maybe he doesn’t know he’s going to die. Poor little, ugly fly.

As my heart begins to race in worry over the feelings concerning a FLY, it hits me, I worry about the world’s STUPIDEST things. It’s true.  And embarrassing.

But since I am an equal-opportunity worrier,  I also worry about important things.  I worry about flies and I worry about MONEY.

photo courtesy of wmpu.org

I mean, come on, who doesn’t?

The Scottish and I went to a Financial Planning small group through our church this past week and boy did it spark some conversation! Remind me to yell at thank my friends for inviting us. 🙂  We spent the entire car ride home plus another hour and 15 minutes fighting about priorities and budgets.  Hey, at least it got us talking, right?  The Scottish and I communicate really well and have discussed money in the past, even sharing personal things such as the activity of our bank accounts, but now that it is officially (almost) time for us to put our funds together and to voice our financial goals, it seems we are struggling to get on the same page.

We both agree on simple ideas like, savings = good, and debt = bad.  But there’s more to it than that!  Plus, while I enter our marriage with a condo and a car, I also bring in a lot of student debt.   The Scottish is the one who has admirable amounts of money in savings, but can’t get a credit card with more than a 300 dollar limit because of a lack of credit history in this country.  Our difference of opinion stems from the fact that I was brought up sort of “you can’t take it with you” style/spend the money on people you love while you have it, and the Scottish was taught to think long-term, to be ready for any crisis, and to be practical.  As this financial leader guy told us in the video we watched during small group, “there’s always the free spirit and the nerd.”  Can you guess who is who??

I can’t get into any more details, you know, money is kind of private, but I will say, we have the same goals and thoughts about money but we want to take different routes to get there.  While our conversation the other night was heated, it was also productive.  We might have fought the night of the small group but we both calmed down and by the next night we were able to sit down and make a tentative monthly budget.  And there wasn’t any fighting!  This small group brought up tons of great ideas, cash flow plans, a will, retirement, college funds, emergency funds, snowballing your debt, etc.  I think we just got overwhelmed at first, because, hello, THERE IS A LOT TO DO.  Not to mention, tack on a name change, a landlord situation, and a green-card to our list of To-DO’s.

Naturally, that first night I really wanted to go to bed mad at my Scottish.  The entire disagreement was filled with snappy comments, rude glares, and a bit of shouting.  Finally, too exhausted to talk anymore, I went to bed.  But after 5 minutes of being alone, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love him.  And how he should know that even in the middle of a fight.  It was just one talk, one disagreement, or as I like to call it, “Fight #1 about Money,” because I know enough about being married that it won’t be our last fight about the “M” word.  But if I had to pick someone to fight with (and my mom was busy) I’d definitely pick the Scottish.  🙂

So I dragged myself back out to the living room for a hug.

Me: “I love you.  Are you still annoyed with me?

Scottish: “Yea, a little.”

Me: “Yea me too. You coming to bed soon?”

Scottish: “Yea, you go lay down, I’ll be there in a minute.”

*kiss*

Quote: “Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.” Groucho Marx

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Fat Bastard is my favorite fictional Scottish Character

18 Mar

“Get in mah belly!!!” I’m quite good at reciting this line from my all-time favorite movie series EVER, Austin Powers. I think Mike Meyers is a comedic genius and that trilogy has been making me laugh for as long as I can remember. My brother and I used to entertain the family with lines from the movies while we sat around a campfire roasting marshmallows. Good times. And while I can very succinctly replicate Fat Bastard’s accent, I am a big failure when it comes to copying my fiancé’s Scottish accent. I always seem to sound British cockney or Australian, Irish, or just plain mentally ill. However, my interpretation of his accent is always good for a laugh and last night while drinking beers with our friends who were in town from Minnesota, we came up with the moronic brilliant idea that at our wedding, the Scottish should thank everyone in an American accent, and I should thank everyone in a Scottish accent. That way our toasts will surely be memorable.

It got me thinking less about my venue stress and more about how I want to incorporate as much Scottish tradition into the wedding as possible. Thanks to Best Friend, I found a website called “Scottish Wedding Dream,” and finally have found some time to explore it and since I was exploring I thought I would share my findings with you, my readers. Below you’ll find a few gems that I figured were worth sharing in a segment called Traditions Part One.

All quotes are taken from here: I hope you like Tartans.

Traditions Part One
Handfasting. I love being engaged and I love that I get almost a year to prepare for marriage and to enjoy my final days of being legally single before I commit to the love of my life. Back in the medieval times in Scotland, they had a similar engagement period known as handfasting. It’s essential marks the start of a “trial-run” of the marriage and the bride and groom’s hands are tied together with a cord or cloth of tartan pledging themselves to each other. One year and one day later they decide to either stay together and have a wedding or to separate. And being very egalitarian about it, either party could decide not to go through with it. My favorite reason behind handfasting is this:
“There were practical reasons for this arrangement. Children were needed to work in the father’s trade. During this year, the bride’s fertility, or lack thereof, could be determined.” So basically it’s like the modern-day couple living together before getting married, but without birth control since the goal is procreation. OH how times have changed.

Surnames. The whole idea of taking the man’s last name is such a personal thing that I don’t think any woman should feel bad no matter what she chooses. Some feminists consider changing your name to be a step back for women everywhere, whereas some conservative brides consider it a disrespectful act to keep your maiden name. I don’t care what anyone else does, but I have decided to change my name. To me, it’s a symbolic act that outwardly shows the joining of my life with the Scottish. Plus, my mom took my dad’s name, and it makes me feel good to follow that tradition. Why should me taking my future husband’s name have anything to do with my views on gender equality? I still am who I am regardless of my last name, and I plan to become famous either way. 🙂
On a peculiar and interesting note, Scottish tradition states that it’s bad luck if couples share the same first letter of their last names. It is eloquently explained in this rhyme:
“To change the name
and not the letter
Is to change for the worst
and not the better.”

Umm, yea, doubtful… BUT I am going from an “L” to a “C” just to stay on the good side of my Scottish luck. 🙂

Stag and Hen Parties. Translation: Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties!! WHOO-HOOO!! Since I’ve known the Scottish he has always referred to his big event as a “Stag Do,” and it makes me feel inspired to call my upcoming girl fest a “Hen Do.” Why the heck not?? Apparently, embarrassing the groom goes back a looong time because tradition states that the groom had to carry a basket of stones on his back while walking through town (called Creelin’), unless his bride were to give him a kiss, then he could stop. What fun that sounds like… I suppose it’s not much different from the “Let’s get the groom so completely trashed and make him do stupid stuff” that happens these days. Pretty sure my Scottish would prefer to get drunk before being embarrassed.

They say the Hen Party started because people used to bring gifts for the bride-to-be’s upcoming wedding feast (sort of like a Bridal Shower?), and often times these gifts included hens. Then a few days before the wedding everyone helped pluck the hens and prepared them to be eaten. While I love the idea of having a “Hen Do,” I’m gonna go ahead and say right now that I prefer lingerie and kitchenware to poultry.

That’s it for now, but there are so many more traditions to discover. One tradition told to me by FMIL is to add a bit of white heather to your bouquet for good luck. I think that’s my favorite one so far!!

Is anyone else incorporating their heritage into their wedding planning? Or has anyone seen a cool wedding tradition in action? If so, what are they?

Quote: “The judicious bride saved these special feathers to stuff future pillows and comforters for her home.” Scottish Wedding Dreams Website

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