Tag Archives: blog

Kit Kats

1 Aug

It’s break time people.  I’m sorry to say it but “gimme a break, break me off a piece of that Kit Kat bar.”  No really, I enjoy a good Kit Kat.  🙂

As sad as it is, I need to take a hiatus from “Drama Happens.”  Cue the sad music and/or everyone chanting in unison, “Haven’t you basically already left us?!?”  I’m truly sorry for being so MIA recently.  Blogging is a fast-paced, unique style of writing and I don’t feel that I can do justice to this blog by only posting once in a while.  I want to come back to it when I can commit more of my time and energy to my ridiculous stories and examination of relationships.  Even though I’ve been busy, I still think about all of my awesome readers fondly and I’m so thankful for those of you faithful followers.  My stats tell me new awesome people find this blog daily, because as it turns out I’m not alone in my daily fear of looking so fat in pictures.

Meanwhile I’m still going to be blogging, but I’ll also be learning!  I can’t wait to revamp and jazz up “Drama Happens” when the time comes to start again.  I hope to delve deeper into some of life’s most important relationship questions.

I’m humbled and excited by the open doors in my life and I’m attempting to count my blessings daily.

Thank you all for your “likes,” your support, your comments, and your words of wisdom!  Cheers to your path, wherever it may lead you!

And as always, I leave you with a,

Quote: “Once you have traveled, the voyage never ends, but is played out over and over again in the quietest chambers.  The mind can never break off from the journey.”  -Pat Conroy

I gave relationship advice to my hair stylist

26 May

There is a first for everything!  And this past Wednesday my hair stylist asked for relationship advice after I told her I write a blog about relationships.

Hmm, let’s take a moment to look at my qualifications, shall we?

I am currently IN a relationship.  It is going well, I would even call it a successful relationship.  We are betrothed.

I have been in other relationships.  I have been in 2.5 other relationships that I would deem serious.  I learned many things from these past relationships.

I have casually dated.  I can’t get into how “causal” as my mother reads this blog, but casual nonetheless.  So I’m hip to how dating works these days.  And yes, I use the phrase “I’m hip to” sometimes.

I have lots of friends in relationships, and people tell me things.  I’ve heard many stories in my 28 over the years, and I have remembered them.  As my BFF says, people just like to spill their guts to me.  I like this.

I am a people-person.  I might hate small talk, but I’m a great listener if you want to talk about something real.

I find all different types of relationships interesting and strive to learn more about them, e.g.,  same-sex relationships, open relationships, plural marriage relationships, abusive relationships, opposites-attract relationships, bizarre relationships, indifferent relationships, you get the idea.  I also blog about them.

My instincts are good.  I can tell a good match from 20 miles away.

Let’s look at the reasons why I may not be qualified to give relationship advice:

I am in no way certified to give advice of any kind.

I’ve never even taken the most basic of psychology courses.

My experience with counseling is limited to personal experiences with friends and family.  I am an amateur and no one has ever paid me for  my advice/time.

Based on all of this I have determined that I am qualified enough to give the random Joe or Jane advice if they deem me worthy enough to inquire of it.

Don’t I look trust-worthy?

Here’s how it all went down… This past Wednesday I needed to get a haircut, so I ventured off to some place within walking distance of our apartment.  I found this very eclectic and hipster looking salon and walked in to ask for a trim.  I was paired with a hairstylist, (we’ll call her Jessica) and she gave me a really nice cut!

During our time together, she asked about my life, and I gave her the quick run-down, I’m a nanny, degree in acting, getting married, I’m a blogger, etc.  She asks me, “What do you blog about?”  I say, “Relationships and my wedding.”

She says, “Oh,” and launches into a story about her relationship. She said since I write about this stuff that she felt comfortable telling me.  Wow, cool!  I was flattered.  I did my best to just listen and only gave my thoughts when prompted.  She seemed pretty open and since I’m not revealing her name or her salon, I’ll share a bit of what is going on with her.  Maybe someone reading out there is going through the same thing?

The Relationship Hurdle:  She and her boyfriend live together with another random male roommate. They met as roommates and became close friends, but started dating officially this past September.  They have been talking about moving in together, but every time it’s brought up, he has something negative or self-deprecating to say.  For example, when they were out to dinner and the topic of moving came up, his first reaction was that they needed a game plan in case they were to break up after moving in together.  He also asked her “What if you hurt me?” and told her he didn’t want to go through all that.  He’s also suggested they find a new third roommate and so they can stay in their current place.  Jessica told me she took this personally thinking he doesn’t want to live with just her.  Is this a hint that he’s not as interested in her?  Or is he simply afraid of commitment and getting hurt?

Drama Happens says:  My first question to Jessica was, have you talked to him about all this?  The answer was no.  She just lets the comments slide by and keeps her worries to herself.  I’m convinced NOT communicating is the best way to end any relationship (intimate ones or friendships) and so I told her the first step is to talk to him and get down to the bottom of what he thinks about moving in together.  The good news is they are not under any time crunch because they have a month-to-month lease (those are golden in a big city).

My next response was that she should be cautious.  While my gut is telling me “he’s just not that into her” and doesn’t want to increase their level of commitment, I don’t feel comfortable saying that flat-out after one conversation.  It could be a fear of getting hurt, or those comments could be excuses to avoid taking the next step.  My advice is to talk first, and don’t rush into anything.  He seems unsure of their relationship at this point, and until they are on the same page, I wouldn’t move one single box.

So there you have it, my first advice column so-to-speak.  Who would have thought it would come from a random hairstylist (who is really good at what she does btw)!

Any other questions out there?   Until next time readers!

Quote: “Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.”  Erica Jong

Bye Bye Bridal Banter

21 Mar

After a LOT of thought, I have decided to go back to the way things were with “Drama Happens” and start a separate wedding blog. It just feels too overwhelming and too restrictive (all at the same time!) to write about my wedding on my Relationship/Life blog. Those interested in the wedding talk aren’t getting enough of the good stuff, and those uninterested in the wedding talk are getting too much. I don’t feel like I can write about one thing and one thing only for the next year and I really don’t want to lose all my regular readers while doing so.

The decision is partly due to the fact that I’m DYING to be a blogger for The Hive, and I really need to prep, revise, document, and photograph every single step of my wedding planning to be considered. I have to start taking a camera everywhere and the names and faces can’t be changed… WHICH MEANS, the identity of the Scottish will be revealed on said wedding blog. Can you feel the excitement? Not really? Me neither, because most people who read this either know the Scottish personally or are Facebook friends with us. HOWEVER, there are some people who follow my blog that I do not know (thank you WordPress) and perhaps they feel some excitement.

For now, I am not sure how public my wedding blog will be. It might be more of a private thing until I figure out where it’s headed, that said, if you just love everything wedding and can’t get enough of the decision-making, the stress, and the details- both large and small, then please shoot me a message on Facebook, email, or reply here and once it’s up and running I will pass on the info. What’s a blog for if not to share?

So while this means I can start blogging about other stuff again, it means the posts will be less frequent and my Wednesday/Sunday schedule will be lost. Because let’s be honest, planning a wedding, working full-time, AND writing for two blogs is a crazy person’s idea.

But never fear! I have great posts in my head waiting to get out! You can look forward to such entries as “Why I prefer Male Doctors Over Females” and of course we have yet to hear from my friend who is an open marriage! I promise that will happen at some point but probably not until end of April/early May.

So thank you friends, for being patient through this time of transition. And cheers to you and your own artistic outlet. If you don’t have one, go find one.
Much love,
Stephanie

Quote: “Success is like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t quit when you’re tired- you quit when the gorilla is tired.” Robert Strauss

“We talk about your heart, bout your brains, and your smarts, and your medical charts, and when you start”

25 Jan

My favorite relationship of all is probably the one I have with myself. Probably. I love spending time with myself but I do find it to be frustrating at times. My brain is powerful and I’ve yet to find the off switch so it can be very exhausting to be me. I’m crazy, loud, unashamed, and intense. But overall I have to say I am a big fan of myself. Plus, I’m attractive. One of my favorite stories about my nanny kid Derek takes place while I was driving them home from school one day last year. I must have told Derek he was going to have to do something that he didn’t want to do because he playfully said that he did NOT have to listen to me because I wasn’t his mom or his dad. And I said something to the effect of, “Oh yes you do, I’m in charge right now.” To which Derek replied, “Well, but you are kind of pretty.” I have no clue how that made sense in his mind, but I’ll take it. And now it’s time to take stock of this pretty girl’s life. It’s time for an update to access how things are going. I normally do this in my head when I’m stressed out and trying to count my blessings, but in this case, it works as a blog post too.

House(s)– Apt: Feels like home after months of moving in items slowly, so much so that I have now reached the point of having to pack a bag to go BACK to my condo. It’s clean, the laundry is done, there’s food in the fridge, but I still feel like there’s a million things left to get done.
Condo: Feels empty but clean. I go back once or twice a week to check the mail, fetch things I need, or to relax and watch cable. Looking forward to the day when it will be an income property.

Job– Really good right now. I love my new schedule of working 4 ten-hour days. My mid-week day off allows me time to make appointments, clean the house, blog, work-out, and so much more. It leaves me feeling refreshed and ready to be a good nanny. Relationship with boss and kids are good, everyone’s doing well.

Boyfriend– Awwww, I love seeing him all the time. Just being in his presence calms me. We may fight (I know you’ve all read the last blog) sometimes, but I’m disgustingly happy with my Scottish.

Family– I.have.the.best.family.in.the.whole.world. I don’t even know how I got so lucky. Immediate and extended, it’s all goooooood. I have no reason to complain…ever. It’s good to remind myself of this.

Friends– I have a lot of friends. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m spread very thin, but in the end, I just try to give as much as I can in that moment. I have an awesome best friend who I rarely see in MN, she knows the most about me of anyone, but I miss all the fun we used to have when we lived closer. I have a wonderful friend who’s planning a wedding and I’m very excited and focused on my Maid of Honor responsibilities right now. I can’t wait to celebrate her big day! I have two really lovely and special friends in New York that I can’t wait to go visit and submerge myself into their lives once again even if for a short time. I have my Sister Wives who are my local girls that make city living so amazing and fun. I don’t know where I’d be without them. And then I have artistic friends, childhood friends, old and new friends, each a unique relationship and each a blessing.

Car– HAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s an old Hyundai Elantra from 2004. I call her my silver baby, and I’m gonna drive her as long as I can. She has seen me through college and has been witness to many of my Chicago driving mistakes, but I wouldn’t want anything flashy. She’s perfect just the way she is, and she’s paid off.

Money– Oops, should have saved the laughter for this one!! 🙂 Money is and will be a struggle for a while, but I’d spend my last dime on someone who I care about, and one day I hope to not have to worry about it as much as I do now.

Blog– Going well for the most part. Some weeks are better than others, and I’m very excited to see how it grows.

Acting– Auditioning and that’s all I can do.

Weight Watchers– Lost 6 pounds in total so far. It’s one of the toughest things I’ve done in my life and also pretty easy at the same time if that makes any sense. It’s well worth the slimming rewards but I’ll never give up my love of food. I rewarded myself with a candy bar last week and to quote Rapunzel in the movie, Tangled, “BEST DAY EVER!”

God– How could I forget this one until last? Maybe that says a lot about where my head has been… My mom would say your favorite relationship should be the one you have with God.

Quote: Do you know the Toby Keith song called, “I Wanna Talk About Me?” Sometimes I picture the Scottish singing this to me even though he doesn’t like country music and he would never sing this song. It’s just the words that crack me up.

“I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, What I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about meeeeeee”

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