Tag Archives: boyfriend

“We talk about your heart, bout your brains, and your smarts, and your medical charts, and when you start”

25 Jan

My favorite relationship of all is probably the one I have with myself. Probably. I love spending time with myself but I do find it to be frustrating at times. My brain is powerful and I’ve yet to find the off switch so it can be very exhausting to be me. I’m crazy, loud, unashamed, and intense. But overall I have to say I am a big fan of myself. Plus, I’m attractive. One of my favorite stories about my nanny kid Derek takes place while I was driving them home from school one day last year. I must have told Derek he was going to have to do something that he didn’t want to do because he playfully said that he did NOT have to listen to me because I wasn’t his mom or his dad. And I said something to the effect of, “Oh yes you do, I’m in charge right now.” To which Derek replied, “Well, but you are kind of pretty.” I have no clue how that made sense in his mind, but I’ll take it. And now it’s time to take stock of this pretty girl’s life. It’s time for an update to access how things are going. I normally do this in my head when I’m stressed out and trying to count my blessings, but in this case, it works as a blog post too.

House(s)– Apt: Feels like home after months of moving in items slowly, so much so that I have now reached the point of having to pack a bag to go BACK to my condo. It’s clean, the laundry is done, there’s food in the fridge, but I still feel like there’s a million things left to get done.
Condo: Feels empty but clean. I go back once or twice a week to check the mail, fetch things I need, or to relax and watch cable. Looking forward to the day when it will be an income property.

Job– Really good right now. I love my new schedule of working 4 ten-hour days. My mid-week day off allows me time to make appointments, clean the house, blog, work-out, and so much more. It leaves me feeling refreshed and ready to be a good nanny. Relationship with boss and kids are good, everyone’s doing well.

Boyfriend– Awwww, I love seeing him all the time. Just being in his presence calms me. We may fight (I know you’ve all read the last blog) sometimes, but I’m disgustingly happy with my Scottish.

Family– I.have.the.best.family.in.the.whole.world. I don’t even know how I got so lucky. Immediate and extended, it’s all goooooood. I have no reason to complain…ever. It’s good to remind myself of this.

Friends– I have a lot of friends. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m spread very thin, but in the end, I just try to give as much as I can in that moment. I have an awesome best friend who I rarely see in MN, she knows the most about me of anyone, but I miss all the fun we used to have when we lived closer. I have a wonderful friend who’s planning a wedding and I’m very excited and focused on my Maid of Honor responsibilities right now. I can’t wait to celebrate her big day! I have two really lovely and special friends in New York that I can’t wait to go visit and submerge myself into their lives once again even if for a short time. I have my Sister Wives who are my local girls that make city living so amazing and fun. I don’t know where I’d be without them. And then I have artistic friends, childhood friends, old and new friends, each a unique relationship and each a blessing.

Car– HAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s an old Hyundai Elantra from 2004. I call her my silver baby, and I’m gonna drive her as long as I can. She has seen me through college and has been witness to many of my Chicago driving mistakes, but I wouldn’t want anything flashy. She’s perfect just the way she is, and she’s paid off.

Money– Oops, should have saved the laughter for this one!! 🙂 Money is and will be a struggle for a while, but I’d spend my last dime on someone who I care about, and one day I hope to not have to worry about it as much as I do now.

Blog– Going well for the most part. Some weeks are better than others, and I’m very excited to see how it grows.

Acting– Auditioning and that’s all I can do.

Weight Watchers– Lost 6 pounds in total so far. It’s one of the toughest things I’ve done in my life and also pretty easy at the same time if that makes any sense. It’s well worth the slimming rewards but I’ll never give up my love of food. I rewarded myself with a candy bar last week and to quote Rapunzel in the movie, Tangled, “BEST DAY EVER!”

God– How could I forget this one until last? Maybe that says a lot about where my head has been… My mom would say your favorite relationship should be the one you have with God.

Quote: Do you know the Toby Keith song called, “I Wanna Talk About Me?” Sometimes I picture the Scottish singing this to me even though he doesn’t like country music and he would never sing this song. It’s just the words that crack me up.

“I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, What I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about meeeeeee”

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What is something that gets me into trouble every time I do it?

15 Jan

COMPARING!! I compare and I contrast and then I get hurt. Everyone warns me in my acting life, my personal life, and everyday life, do NOT compare yourself to others, it only leads to icky and envious thoughts. So I can’t think of a better topic to blog about than COMPARING. My sister and her boyfriend were in town visiting the Scottish and I this weekend. We had an amazing time making sushi, visiting Willis tower, watching live Blues music, eating out, and staying in. While they were here I asked their permission to write a blog about our relationships. This stinks of disaster, does it not? It might stink but that’s precisely why you should keep reading. There is no room for that “every couple is unique and special in their own way” crap, we’re just gonna lay it all out there and see what happens.

For the purposes of this blog, I will refer to my sister as Sister and to her boyfriend as SBF or Sister’s Boyfriend. And of course the Scottish is my boyfriend, and I’ll be known as I, me, Stephanie, or crazy-pants Nini. We will begin by comparing the women to the women, the men to the men, and then contrasting why, on paper, the Scottish fits better with Sister, and why SBF should really be with me.

For starters, it has to be said that my sister and I are literally the same person. LITERALLY. And kudos to us for finding men who not only put up with us, but like us sometimes too! We are similar in the way we talk to our men because we expect perfection and we have a nice little tone that we use which has been passed down to us from our mother which in turn was passed down from her mother. The women on my mom’s side are the leaders of their families and we tend to gravitate to men that are relaxed, calm, understanding, and a little bit lazy. Both SBF and the Scottish fit the bill perfectly. Sister and I are also similar in that we have no freakin clue how to relax. We spend our “vacations” visiting family and friends, cleaning the house, and getting shit done, while SBF and the Scottish could lay in front of the TV for days. We do not get this, because growing up, our family went camping. Camping is not sit-on-a-beach-relaxing, it’s packing, driving, setting up camp, starting a fire, cooking a meal, walking half a mile to the bathroom, taking down camp, and driving somewhere new to do it all over again. Now we loved our family vacations growing up but we use the term “vacation” loosely and because of this and the fact that our mother has difficulty sitting still as well, we tend to be on the go, all the time. That said, both Sister and I are dedicated to our life’s work, Sister is an amazing teacher, and I would call myself a very passionate artist of many trades. We both loves games, shopping, and annoying each other.

But SBF and the Scottish are very similar too, as mentioned before they both like to chill-out; they both like video games and sleep. They love exciting things that give Sister and I tummy aches, such as theme park rides and sky diving. They both love music, jokes, and sushi, and they both know how to say the wrong the thing at the wrong time. I have to say, it’s so nice to be able to spend a whole weekend together and know that our guys not only get along with each other, but are becoming friends too. Win win.

Now why on earth would I say that we are better off with each other’s partners? I must really be crazy-pants Nini!! But look, Sister has LIVED in England for a whole year, OK? She gets the UK, she loves to travel and the thought of flying back yearly and getting to explore more the world excites her! Then there’s me, who didn’t even own a passport when she met the Scottish and who saw very little reason to travel outside of the US. Of course I’m a changed woman now, but back in the day, we all thought Sister would come home with an Englishman, and she has even said to me once, “I’m supposed to be the one with the UK boyfriend!” But instead she found her wonderful, SBF, who is a great guy, a guy who plays guitar and sings live in front of audiences, similar to what I do when I perform in a play. He’s an artist and he gets what it’s like to do something you love just because you love it, but for little to no money, and he can relate to that feeling of rejection that comes solely with being a performer. Sister and the Scottish don’t get that.

Then we have the drinking issue. SBF doesn’t drink which is a perfect match for me, the non-drinker drinker!! SBF used to drink in the past but it made him really sick and doctors advised him to give it up, so he did. Sister enjoys her drink every once in a while and finds humor in drunk people, I on the other hand, really dislike being around drunk people for fear of them puking, and what did I find? A Scottish man who can drink any American under the table and says sometimes you just gotta puke cause it makes you feel better.

And don’t even get me started on the ring thing. So, Sister and SBF are talking about the future and marriage someday too like the Scottish and I, but the discussion of rings came up this weekend, and SBF wants to know what my Sister wants, but she wants to be old-fashioned and not help him pick it out or give him any ideas. Then there’s me, who would love to help the Scottish pick out a ring, (then maybe I can stop having these nightmares where I dream he buys me a large opal instead of a diamond and I’m forced to pretend I like it), but he refuses to have any help from me and keeps it a hush-hush secret.

SBF and I are your standard, run-of-the-mill romantics, and my Sister and the Scottish are your classic down-to-earth realists. I could go on, but you get the point. It’s funny, right?

I suppose this is the time for the hokey comment about how our differences only make our relationships stronger and we have nothing to gain by comparing… unfortunately that sounds like a real yawn-fest so I’d rather not tie up the loose ends. But I will say that I have the best partner possible for me and Sister has the best partner possible for her, and that’s all the explanation you need.

I do feel the need to say that my little Sister and I are super competitive when it comes to life and sometimes that really sucks. I feel like we know how to be caring and sympathetic to our friends, but we are so hard on each other. We have a lot of really big things coming up in life: weddings, babies, and houses to name a few hot topics. And we are very excited at the thought of doing all those things together. We also know that everything will come at a different time for each of us and that’s OK. I know that I will be so excited for all of her big news, and she will be excited for mine. If I’m being perfectly honest, when I think about her doing stuff FIRST, BEFORE me, I get frustrated, but when I think about her not being in the loving relationship she’s in right now, I feel devastated. Her happiness is one of the most important things in my life. Because she’s my Sister.

Quote: “I’m at peace with myself and where I am. In the past, I was always looking to see how everybody else was doing. I wasn’t competitive, I was comparative. I just wanted to be where everybody else was.” Courteney Cox

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