Tag Archives: car

The dreaded “M” word or Fight #1 about Money

5 May

Friday morning I groggily walked into the bathroom to start my shower, and I heard this buzzing sound. Seriously? We have had the same GIANT fly circling in our bedroom/bathroom area for about three days now. To quote one of my all-time favorite movies, Austin Powers, when his deadly weapons continually fail to kill one of Dr. Evil’s assassins, he screams in confusion, “Why won’t you die?”  This is how I feel about the fly. The fly isn’t smart enough to find the exit and with a garden apartment, we don’t ever open the windows, so he’s stuck in our house until he dies. And I’m thinking, What if he’s starving to death? I feel bad, we should get a fly swatter and kill him to put him out of his misery. Oh no, what if he dies on our bed!  That would be terrible. I wonder if he is frightened because he is so trapped. He’s a fly so maybe he doesn’t know he’s going to die. Poor little, ugly fly.

As my heart begins to race in worry over the feelings concerning a FLY, it hits me, I worry about the world’s STUPIDEST things. It’s true.  And embarrassing.

But since I am an equal-opportunity worrier,  I also worry about important things.  I worry about flies and I worry about MONEY.

photo courtesy of wmpu.org

I mean, come on, who doesn’t?

The Scottish and I went to a Financial Planning small group through our church this past week and boy did it spark some conversation! Remind me to yell at thank my friends for inviting us. 🙂  We spent the entire car ride home plus another hour and 15 minutes fighting about priorities and budgets.  Hey, at least it got us talking, right?  The Scottish and I communicate really well and have discussed money in the past, even sharing personal things such as the activity of our bank accounts, but now that it is officially (almost) time for us to put our funds together and to voice our financial goals, it seems we are struggling to get on the same page.

We both agree on simple ideas like, savings = good, and debt = bad.  But there’s more to it than that!  Plus, while I enter our marriage with a condo and a car, I also bring in a lot of student debt.   The Scottish is the one who has admirable amounts of money in savings, but can’t get a credit card with more than a 300 dollar limit because of a lack of credit history in this country.  Our difference of opinion stems from the fact that I was brought up sort of “you can’t take it with you” style/spend the money on people you love while you have it, and the Scottish was taught to think long-term, to be ready for any crisis, and to be practical.  As this financial leader guy told us in the video we watched during small group, “there’s always the free spirit and the nerd.”  Can you guess who is who??

I can’t get into any more details, you know, money is kind of private, but I will say, we have the same goals and thoughts about money but we want to take different routes to get there.  While our conversation the other night was heated, it was also productive.  We might have fought the night of the small group but we both calmed down and by the next night we were able to sit down and make a tentative monthly budget.  And there wasn’t any fighting!  This small group brought up tons of great ideas, cash flow plans, a will, retirement, college funds, emergency funds, snowballing your debt, etc.  I think we just got overwhelmed at first, because, hello, THERE IS A LOT TO DO.  Not to mention, tack on a name change, a landlord situation, and a green-card to our list of To-DO’s.

Naturally, that first night I really wanted to go to bed mad at my Scottish.  The entire disagreement was filled with snappy comments, rude glares, and a bit of shouting.  Finally, too exhausted to talk anymore, I went to bed.  But after 5 minutes of being alone, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love him.  And how he should know that even in the middle of a fight.  It was just one talk, one disagreement, or as I like to call it, “Fight #1 about Money,” because I know enough about being married that it won’t be our last fight about the “M” word.  But if I had to pick someone to fight with (and my mom was busy) I’d definitely pick the Scottish.  🙂

So I dragged myself back out to the living room for a hug.

Me: “I love you.  Are you still annoyed with me?

Scottish: “Yea, a little.”

Me: “Yea me too. You coming to bed soon?”

Scottish: “Yea, you go lay down, I’ll be there in a minute.”

*kiss*

Quote: “Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.” Groucho Marx

Advertisements

How do you get a man to sell his first car?

25 Apr

This is a very serious question to a very serious problem. My lovely fiancé, the Scottish, has a car back in Scotland, and myself, his parents, and everyone else on earth thinks he should sell it. While the Scottish says he will sell it, he is dragging his feet so badly that I’m starting to doubt if he ever will. I mean, he says things like, “But it’ll be paid off in a year,” and “It’s my first car!” What bothers me is that my Scottish is one of the smartest people I know, so he must realize how stupid it is to pay monthly car payments and insurance on a car that doesn’t get driven! He’s been doing this for over three years, since he bought it back in 2009, and since it doesn’t appear he’s going to be living in Scotland anytime soon (thank you 2 year visa extension), I’ve decided it’s high time he stop procrastinating and sell the damn thing. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let me tell you how it all began… BTW, this is a very sad “white people problems” story, so prepare yourself accordingly.

When my beloved first signed up to work for his current company he was fresh out of University and excited to be hired by the first job he applied for! He was asked if he would be willing to travel internationally, and the Scottish eagerly replied with a “Yes,” which is good because a “NO” is a sure way to NOT get hired by this company. So within his first few months working of for them the Scottish was sent to Australia and that’s where he fell in love with my greatest rival, the beautiful Melbourne. The Scottish LOVES Melbourne and would happily move back there in a hot second. Unfortunately for him, when we fell in love, the only place I agreed to travel internationally to was Scotland. Just kidding, I really want to visit Australia and we were thinking about it for the honeymoon, but it’s just too expensive so we’re looking into other options.

photo courtesy of http://www.tripadvisor.com

Back to my story, the Scottish was supposed to be in Australia for a few months, but his stay was extended to almost a full year. Once he was back in his home country of Scotland he was considering buying a car, but kept putting it off in case he was sent somewhere else. Eventually, he caved and bought himself a used black Volkswagen Golf S with 1.9 TDI. (Whatever that means, NOTE: It’s obvious I’ve asked the Scottish for specific information which in turn means he knows about this post and isn’t upset by it. The Scottish supports my writing and doesn’t mind being the topic of humorous conversation! I feel the need to point that out because people occasionally ask me how he feels having his life out for everyone to read, which is a great question BTW!)

The Scottish was trying to put off buying a car because he was certain the minute he bought one he would be sent somewhere for work. And that’s exactly what happened! The Scottish purchased his car in February of 2009 and he was sent to America in February of 2009, which means he got to drive his car for roughly 2.5 weeks before he had to leave. At the time they told him he would be in Chicago for three weeks only. Well, three weeks turned into three months, which turned into a two year contract which turned into indefinitely after meeting and proposing to one sexy blonde.

See, what a sad story about a guy and his first car.

photo courtesy of http://www.friday-ad.co.uk

The Scottish LOVES his car and does not want to part with it, and I totally understand why, but it’s hard for me to justify the monthly payments. Mom Scottish is nice enough to drive the car once in a while to make sure the engine still starts, and Dad Scottish appears to be taking care of all the mail and maintenance relating to the car, but still, IT JUST SITS THERE, in the driveway, doing NOTHING for most of the year! The only time the Scottish gets to drive his baby is when he is home for a few weeks at a time.

He thought about having it sent over to the US, but only briefly because the cost to ship a vehicle overseas is about the same as just buying a new used car. Plus, the steering wheel is the WRONG side for us in the states, and finally, future Mrs. Scottish (me) cannot drive a stick shift car, and surely that would pose a problem down the road. My Dad tried to teach me back in high school, but I just never got the hang of it.

In conclusion, I feel stuck. I need help convincing the man I love to sell the car he loves, and not just because we’re planning a wedding, or because he could use the money to pay off his little bit of student loan debt left in the UK, or because we are saving to buy a house someday. I’m most upset because I hate watching money be thrown down the toilet! I am not the best person with money (duh) but I always pay off my credit card each month because I hate paying extra for something I’ve already bought! At least when I get a pedicure I see the fruits of that money for weeks! We rarely see his car and I’ve already promised him that he can have final say over the next car we purchase together. Hopefully that isn’t soon because I’m sure he’s going to want something amazing (aka expensive). And I know I’ll be pretty sad when my little silver Hyundai croaks because I love her… after all she’s my first car. 🙂

personal photo

Quote: “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a few days.” Tim Allen

“We talk about your heart, bout your brains, and your smarts, and your medical charts, and when you start”

25 Jan

My favorite relationship of all is probably the one I have with myself. Probably. I love spending time with myself but I do find it to be frustrating at times. My brain is powerful and I’ve yet to find the off switch so it can be very exhausting to be me. I’m crazy, loud, unashamed, and intense. But overall I have to say I am a big fan of myself. Plus, I’m attractive. One of my favorite stories about my nanny kid Derek takes place while I was driving them home from school one day last year. I must have told Derek he was going to have to do something that he didn’t want to do because he playfully said that he did NOT have to listen to me because I wasn’t his mom or his dad. And I said something to the effect of, “Oh yes you do, I’m in charge right now.” To which Derek replied, “Well, but you are kind of pretty.” I have no clue how that made sense in his mind, but I’ll take it. And now it’s time to take stock of this pretty girl’s life. It’s time for an update to access how things are going. I normally do this in my head when I’m stressed out and trying to count my blessings, but in this case, it works as a blog post too.

House(s)– Apt: Feels like home after months of moving in items slowly, so much so that I have now reached the point of having to pack a bag to go BACK to my condo. It’s clean, the laundry is done, there’s food in the fridge, but I still feel like there’s a million things left to get done.
Condo: Feels empty but clean. I go back once or twice a week to check the mail, fetch things I need, or to relax and watch cable. Looking forward to the day when it will be an income property.

Job– Really good right now. I love my new schedule of working 4 ten-hour days. My mid-week day off allows me time to make appointments, clean the house, blog, work-out, and so much more. It leaves me feeling refreshed and ready to be a good nanny. Relationship with boss and kids are good, everyone’s doing well.

Boyfriend– Awwww, I love seeing him all the time. Just being in his presence calms me. We may fight (I know you’ve all read the last blog) sometimes, but I’m disgustingly happy with my Scottish.

Family– I.have.the.best.family.in.the.whole.world. I don’t even know how I got so lucky. Immediate and extended, it’s all goooooood. I have no reason to complain…ever. It’s good to remind myself of this.

Friends– I have a lot of friends. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m spread very thin, but in the end, I just try to give as much as I can in that moment. I have an awesome best friend who I rarely see in MN, she knows the most about me of anyone, but I miss all the fun we used to have when we lived closer. I have a wonderful friend who’s planning a wedding and I’m very excited and focused on my Maid of Honor responsibilities right now. I can’t wait to celebrate her big day! I have two really lovely and special friends in New York that I can’t wait to go visit and submerge myself into their lives once again even if for a short time. I have my Sister Wives who are my local girls that make city living so amazing and fun. I don’t know where I’d be without them. And then I have artistic friends, childhood friends, old and new friends, each a unique relationship and each a blessing.

Car– HAHAHAHAHAHA. It’s an old Hyundai Elantra from 2004. I call her my silver baby, and I’m gonna drive her as long as I can. She has seen me through college and has been witness to many of my Chicago driving mistakes, but I wouldn’t want anything flashy. She’s perfect just the way she is, and she’s paid off.

Money– Oops, should have saved the laughter for this one!! 🙂 Money is and will be a struggle for a while, but I’d spend my last dime on someone who I care about, and one day I hope to not have to worry about it as much as I do now.

Blog– Going well for the most part. Some weeks are better than others, and I’m very excited to see how it grows.

Acting– Auditioning and that’s all I can do.

Weight Watchers– Lost 6 pounds in total so far. It’s one of the toughest things I’ve done in my life and also pretty easy at the same time if that makes any sense. It’s well worth the slimming rewards but I’ll never give up my love of food. I rewarded myself with a candy bar last week and to quote Rapunzel in the movie, Tangled, “BEST DAY EVER!”

God– How could I forget this one until last? Maybe that says a lot about where my head has been… My mom would say your favorite relationship should be the one you have with God.

Quote: Do you know the Toby Keith song called, “I Wanna Talk About Me?” Sometimes I picture the Scottish singing this to me even though he doesn’t like country music and he would never sing this song. It’s just the words that crack me up.

“I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, What I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about meeeeeee”

%d bloggers like this: