Tag Archives: drive

Please pass the patience

22 May

My back has been hurting lately.  If you don’t know why this is particularly frustrating for me, I suggest you read THIS, and everything will become clear.

I’m just feeling a little low right now. There are so many wonderful things in my life, but sometimes I get stuck when one or two aspects are bad. I have been working out a lot recently, like, a lot a lot.  Because you know, I’m getting married.  And all this working out is making me feel good!   Despite the good reports it gets, I’ve never been a fan of burning the ol’ calories, but I’m shocked to repot I am happy after I workout now and I’m even starting to looking forward to it.  GASP!  If you’ll remember, this all started because I said I was going to workout more so I could eat more what I wanted when I wanted.  Well, since I’ve been working out more frequently, my back has been bothering me.  And frankly, that just sucks.  I wish there was a more eloquent way to put it, but sadly, there’s not.

It’s really bad in the mornings.  Like I have trouble moving and showering and getting out of bed.  Just like last year. I think it has something to do with stillness and my back getting all tight and sore while I sleep, but who really knows? The Scottish has suggested I cut down on the working out, to which I responded, “Do you want me to be a fat bride?” My mother has suggested I see a doctor, to which I responded, “Not until I’m married with better insurance! You know I can’t afford to go see someone right now!”

Of course they’re right.  Of course I’m just mad. I’ve decided to give it a week and then I might make an appointment to see my old pal long-haired-witty-surgeon-friend. The thing is, the pain is NOT entirely like it was last year, it’s manageable for one, and two, it’s not killing my nerve causing me to lose feeling in my left leg. It’s more like a sharp pinching discomfort located where (I’m speculating) my herniated disk is… I know that someday I might need to get my disks fused together, and that I’m sort of destined to have back issues my whole life.  But the one thing I was supposed to work was strengthening my core and that’s what I was doing by working out!!  Insert catch 22 HERE.

I guess the only other option is to move south, buy a house with a swimming pool and do water aerobics for the rest of my life. (Swimming is ideal for my situation).  Sigh, or I need to be patient and listen to my body (and the smart people in my life).

Switching topics, that’s not the only low spot in my life. I don’t really like to talk about what I’m about to talk about. Truth is, I feel ashamed. I feel like a phony. But I know you are all real people too. You have good and you have bad. So I’m going to share some of my bad with you. I call myself actor, I am trained as an actor, but I haven’t been on stage since Feb. 2010. Ouch.

I was supposed to be on stage in 2011 but due to back surgery I was forced to quit the show I was working on, and I haven’t been cast in something since.   When I started this blog, I talked about finding my new creative outlet (writing!), and luckily I have been able to find new ways of fulfilling myself as an artist since quitting that show last year.

I have filmed a short movie directed and written by a friend of mine that was submitted and shown at the Oak Park Film Festival (among other festivals), I had an unpaid job doing transcription work for the wonderful Chicago-based theatre company ATC, and I’ve started (and still maintain) TWO separate blogs. Oh and I just started planning a wedding– which is definitely artistic in its own way! Not.too.shabby.

Good news is I have a few auditions on the horizon and that feels good.  The thing is, I just don’t find many shows that I can audition for because I’m traveling so much this year.  And the ones I do find are looking for men, or Latinas, or something totally and completely random!

Example of a fake audition notice:  We are looking for someone who can juggle and ride a unicycle while singing and playing piano, who speaks German with an Italian accent, who looks 20 but can play 40, who can dance 3 different types of salsa, and is trained in movement and stage combat.  WHAAA???

My fake response: “Umm I sing… a little bit,  and I’m trained in stage combat, I’ve worked on many different movement-based shows, but yea, I guess I’ll have to get back to you once I learn German and graduate from CLOWN SCHOOL.”  It’s brutal out there.  I know I’m exaggerating a bit, but I truly WISH I was kidding.  Everyone is looking for something so specific.  Sometimes I don’t feel like there’s a place for me in this new world of theatre.  Perhaps I’m too ordinary.

I could write a whole blog about being an artist and all the cons that come along with it, but truth is I wouldn’t change my life for a second. I knew I was going to be an actor since I was in 5th grade, and a few years away from the stage means nothing in lifetime of art.  But I’m lacking the patience to wait. I’m losing inspiration and hope, and just feeling lousy about the whole thing. But this is common.  This is common for artists and others. You can’t be in the right place at the right time constantly or else there’d be no journey! Plus, you can’t possibly appreciate it if you don’t know life without it.

So for now, I’m going to work on toning my arms, because thankfully they’re just flabby fine. And I’m going to keep searching for auditions that fit into my crazy-busy schedule. And I’m going to smile and count my blessings because the beauty of life is that it keeps moving. And change will come and opportunities will present themselves.

A “journey”

Here’s hoping you have not only the drive but also the patience to achieve all of your dreams!!

Quote: “Success seems to be connected with action.  Successful people keep moving.  They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.”  Conrad Hilton

How do you get a man to sell his first car?

25 Apr

This is a very serious question to a very serious problem. My lovely fiancé, the Scottish, has a car back in Scotland, and myself, his parents, and everyone else on earth thinks he should sell it. While the Scottish says he will sell it, he is dragging his feet so badly that I’m starting to doubt if he ever will. I mean, he says things like, “But it’ll be paid off in a year,” and “It’s my first car!” What bothers me is that my Scottish is one of the smartest people I know, so he must realize how stupid it is to pay monthly car payments and insurance on a car that doesn’t get driven! He’s been doing this for over three years, since he bought it back in 2009, and since it doesn’t appear he’s going to be living in Scotland anytime soon (thank you 2 year visa extension), I’ve decided it’s high time he stop procrastinating and sell the damn thing. But I’m getting ahead of myself, let me tell you how it all began… BTW, this is a very sad “white people problems” story, so prepare yourself accordingly.

When my beloved first signed up to work for his current company he was fresh out of University and excited to be hired by the first job he applied for! He was asked if he would be willing to travel internationally, and the Scottish eagerly replied with a “Yes,” which is good because a “NO” is a sure way to NOT get hired by this company. So within his first few months working of for them the Scottish was sent to Australia and that’s where he fell in love with my greatest rival, the beautiful Melbourne. The Scottish LOVES Melbourne and would happily move back there in a hot second. Unfortunately for him, when we fell in love, the only place I agreed to travel internationally to was Scotland. Just kidding, I really want to visit Australia and we were thinking about it for the honeymoon, but it’s just too expensive so we’re looking into other options.

photo courtesy of http://www.tripadvisor.com

Back to my story, the Scottish was supposed to be in Australia for a few months, but his stay was extended to almost a full year. Once he was back in his home country of Scotland he was considering buying a car, but kept putting it off in case he was sent somewhere else. Eventually, he caved and bought himself a used black Volkswagen Golf S with 1.9 TDI. (Whatever that means, NOTE: It’s obvious I’ve asked the Scottish for specific information which in turn means he knows about this post and isn’t upset by it. The Scottish supports my writing and doesn’t mind being the topic of humorous conversation! I feel the need to point that out because people occasionally ask me how he feels having his life out for everyone to read, which is a great question BTW!)

The Scottish was trying to put off buying a car because he was certain the minute he bought one he would be sent somewhere for work. And that’s exactly what happened! The Scottish purchased his car in February of 2009 and he was sent to America in February of 2009, which means he got to drive his car for roughly 2.5 weeks before he had to leave. At the time they told him he would be in Chicago for three weeks only. Well, three weeks turned into three months, which turned into a two year contract which turned into indefinitely after meeting and proposing to one sexy blonde.

See, what a sad story about a guy and his first car.

photo courtesy of http://www.friday-ad.co.uk

The Scottish LOVES his car and does not want to part with it, and I totally understand why, but it’s hard for me to justify the monthly payments. Mom Scottish is nice enough to drive the car once in a while to make sure the engine still starts, and Dad Scottish appears to be taking care of all the mail and maintenance relating to the car, but still, IT JUST SITS THERE, in the driveway, doing NOTHING for most of the year! The only time the Scottish gets to drive his baby is when he is home for a few weeks at a time.

He thought about having it sent over to the US, but only briefly because the cost to ship a vehicle overseas is about the same as just buying a new used car. Plus, the steering wheel is the WRONG side for us in the states, and finally, future Mrs. Scottish (me) cannot drive a stick shift car, and surely that would pose a problem down the road. My Dad tried to teach me back in high school, but I just never got the hang of it.

In conclusion, I feel stuck. I need help convincing the man I love to sell the car he loves, and not just because we’re planning a wedding, or because he could use the money to pay off his little bit of student loan debt left in the UK, or because we are saving to buy a house someday. I’m most upset because I hate watching money be thrown down the toilet! I am not the best person with money (duh) but I always pay off my credit card each month because I hate paying extra for something I’ve already bought! At least when I get a pedicure I see the fruits of that money for weeks! We rarely see his car and I’ve already promised him that he can have final say over the next car we purchase together. Hopefully that isn’t soon because I’m sure he’s going to want something amazing (aka expensive). And I know I’ll be pretty sad when my little silver Hyundai croaks because I love her… after all she’s my first car. 🙂

personal photo

Quote: “A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a few days.” Tim Allen

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