Tag Archives: laughing

I’m a church-crier and other embarrassing confessions from this weekend

29 Apr

I took out a five-year-old. At work on Friday, I was taking little Becca to a Spanish camp placement visit in Oak Park (a suburb very close to the city). I printed out directions (despite having lived in Oak Park for a full year) and followed them, which was my first mistake, because they took me through downtown which was miserable with traffic. I should have taken the freeway, but soon it was too late to switch routes and we were running LATE. I called the place and said we’d be there soon but I really, really hate being late, so I wanted to get there as soon as possible. After we’d parked and paid the meter, Becca and I crossed the street and I suggested we run. We rarely run, because running is stupid and Becca prefers to run at recess, not when being asked. But she knew we were late so she agreed. We started running and the stupid uneven sidewalk paired with my inherent klutzy-ness caused me to trip and fall to the ground taking poor Becca down with me! We were holding hands and there was no escaping our double-fall. She started to cry, and we examined our wounds while the homeless guy down at the corner shouted to us, “Are you OK?” I replied that yes, we were fine while attempting to soothe a teary-eyed Becca, getting her laugh it off and suggested that Nini had learned her lesson, no running in Oak Park!! We brushed ourselves off and got back to it, this time, walking briskly but not running. We passed the homeless guy who started to say, “Ma’am, would you—,” I cut him off saying “Sorry, we’re in a hurry Mister.” He says, “Yea you in hurry, that’s why you tripped.” Well played homeless man, well played.

lovely (older) photo of Becca and I

I pissed off my neighbor. In my condo building lives this sweet older woman across the hall. Her name is Fran. When she first saw me moving in back in 2009 she assumed I was another renter because the condo was getting renovated at the time. Nope, that was all me! I bought it! Fran was happy to learn this because she did not like having renters moving in and out year after year (the previous owner had used my junior one bedroom as a rental property.) Over the last three years, Fran and I have exchanged Christmas cookies and causal conversation. I’m kind of an excellent tenant, if I do say so myself. My idea of hosting a party is having girls over for wine and girl talk. The last few months I’ve barely been home because I’ve been nesting with the Scottish in our apartment on the other side of the city. Well, as the Scottish and I were clearing out my place yesterday we ran into Fran, still in her dressing gown at 2 PM I might add, and we started chatting with her. She asked what we were doing and I said I’m moving in with the Scottish because we got engaged! Yay! She was excited and happy for us! Then she asks, “So are you going to sell the place?” I say, “Nope, we’re going to get a renter in here sometime in August.” Cut to the most crestfallen woman I’ve ever seen. It was like she’d be told her dog died. A RENTER!?!??! HOW AWFUL!!! She recovered with, “Well, much happiness to you both, and then promptly shut the door. Awkward city. So I’m currently seeking really nice, super quiet and perhaps even boring, squeaky clean person who is hardly ever home to rent my condo and keep elderly neighbor happy at the same time… sigh.

AFTER

I cried in church. I’m a church-crier, it’s true. I feel like I’ve shared this little nugget on “Drama Happens” once before but I’ll share it again. I realize I’m quite the obnoxious over-sharer and but this specific confession really brings everyone’s judgy-eyes out. “You cry in church? But… why?!!?!?” It is weird. I tend to cry at about 90% of the sermons I hear and I don’t even know why! I guess it’s triggered by a sweet personal story, or a quote or phrase that makes me think, or when something reminds me of one the relationships in my life. Whatever the reason, if I feel intense emotion (good or bad) my eyes start to fill up. I’ve gotten quite good at blinking the tears away or letting them pool until I can get a good swipe of my hand up to my face to wipe them away all at once. Still, it gets tricky. And it’s just a very public place in a very quiet room and suddenly I feel like all eyes are on me and public display of emotion. If anything, it gives the Scottish more comedic material. Aren’t I the nicest?

Does anyone else do something really embarrassing that is kind of odd?

Quote: “But I learned that there’s a certain character that can be built from embarrassing yourself endlessly. If you can sit happy with embarrassment, there’s not much else that can really get to ya.” Christian Bale

All you need is Love (and possibly a sense of humor too)

12 Feb

Isn’t life just insanely busy right now? I feel like that’s the vibe on the street and among my friends and family. People are enjoying this mild winter we’ve been having and it feels like there is just so much to do as spring gets closer and closer. I’m excited! I love being busy, but I’m working on taking the time to relax and enjoy life when I find those rare moments of stillness in my schedule. I’m going to talk about LOVE now, for two reasons, 1) I had an AMAZING experience at my church’s Beatles Eucharist Sunday service and I’m feeling inspired, and 2) That dreaded Hallmark holiday is upon us, Valentine’s Day!!

Honestly, I don’t think there is anything better than love. And I’m not just talking about love between you and your partner, but also family love, the love you have for your children, your friends, your pets, your neighbor, your country, the poor, the rich, and of course your love-hate-love for Kim Kardashian. If I may be so bold, I would say that LOVE is my motto for life. I don’t always live this way but it is my goal. A few things such as my short temper, my OCD tendencies, my inability to handle change, and my need for control are all hindrances to this end but alas, I do the best I can.

I’m sort of addicted to LOVE. I constantly ask the Scottish how much he loves me or what his favorite part about me is, why, you ask? Because I’m a needy freak. My little Becca has told me before that she doesn’t love me anymore because I’ve made her angry for some reason, and she knows I’m sensitive to hearing that. Kids are wicked smart, they are. And way back when, while growing up in Minnesota, my mom was pondering the idea of fostering a child at our house and I selfishly responded with something about how will she love all of us enough and that I don’t want to share my mom anymore than I already have to. Maybe I have some weird thing about being the oldest child and feeling abandoned as the second and third kids came along. Maybe I just crave being the center of attention? And maybe I’m just a huge romantic who loves to be adored. This is getting out of hand…

OK, back to my life motto of LOVE. While I probably spend too much energy attempting to receive love, I also try to share love as much as possible. To me, being a loving person is easy. I like to give hugs. I thoroughly enjoy hearing people’s stories, and when someone talks to me I always strive to be non-judgmental and understanding. I love to cry and will cry because of you, for you, or with you. (To me, tears are not a sign of weakness, but simply a human reaction to both good and bad things.) I laugh… a lot. I think laughing is so close to loving because it means you are happy and feeling joyful. And joy = love. Spending time with people is loving them, attending their shows, going to their parties, dancing at their birthdays, eating meals with them, and everything else in between shows them you care. I really enjoy meeting new people too, which I know for most, can be a big fear. But I just love the idea of new possibilities and potential. It’s endings that frighten me. And being a good friend is a way to love someone. I joke about being self-centered quite a lot, but I do put other people first quite often.

Last year, I made the mistake of telling the Scottish I had no real need to celebrate this dumb holiday coming up, but then was shocked and appalled when he got me nothing! I guess I was a bit unclear… off the record, I actually LOVE receiving chocolates, romantic cards, flowers, balloons, jewelry, and other gifts on Valentine’s Day, but let the record show that I think it’s a stupid waste of money.

Doesn’t this make everything clear now? My obsession with weddings is not just about a white dress and a fabulous party, it’s about the celebration of two people and their love for each other. It’s the stunning performative quality of a wedding that is so beautiful. I hope the traditional wedding ceremony lives on forever! And my love of LOVE is directly related to romantic comedies too, even the most contrived love story is still fun to watch.

Go tell someone you love them. Someone you haven’t said it to in a while. And go listen to the Beatles.

With LOVE,
Stephanie

Quote: “Love is the only gold.” Lord Tennyson

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