Tag Archives: Minnesota

Two most important aspects of an intimate relationship are God and Sex

26 Jun

HA! ¬†This blog post has nothing to do with God OR Sex but I got your attention didn’t I? ūüôā ¬†Thanks for reading and my sincere apologies for the long absence. ¬†Truthfully, I think about “Drama Happens” A LOT, and I miss writing about relationships, but blogging about my wedding and actually planning the wedding, at the same time, proves to be quite time-consuming.

But I have something to say about a VERY important relationship in my life.  Probably one of the most important ones EVER.

My Mommy. ¬†ūüôā ¬†(She is the reason behind my title.) ¬†Let me paint the picture: Best Friend and I are sitting on my couch in our family room chatting with my Mother. ¬†My Mother is someone who swears by saying “Oh Sugar!” and “Fish Face!!” ¬†My Mother doesn’t drink alcohol, coffee, OR pop… yes it baffles us all. ¬†My Mother has wanted to be a teacher all her life and my Grandmother jokes that she came out of the womb telling people what to do. ¬†My Mother donates infinite amounts of time and resources to her church and community. ¬†She brings God and forgiveness to inmates at a prison in southern Minnesota and she inspires us all DAILY. ¬†She has her flaws, I mean, no one is perfect, but if you asked me to show the most well-rounded, loving, joyful, respectful, caring, compassionate person I knew it would be my Mother. Hands down.

Back to the couch and my Mother’s most awkward words of wisdom ever! ¬†Best Friend and I are in the middle of male relationship strife no doubt (I honestly can’t remember at this point) and we were asking my Mom about the secret to a happy marriage and she said the two most important parts are God and Sex. CUE EMBARRASSMENT! ¬†Ewww Mom, who says that? ¬†My guess is she barely remembers this convo since it happened years ago and my other guess is that she’s a tiny bit embarrassed that I shared it with you all, but I think she’s right. ¬†She’s one smart Momma.

Despite the random side story, I have no intentions of talking about marriage, Sex, or God (also I don’t know why I keep capitalizing Sex as if it’s super important but regardless I’m just gonna go with it now). ¬†I want to talk about my awesome Mother and the journey I took to realizing her awesomeness.

It all started back when I was little (and adorable or so I’ve heard) and my Mom thought I was an amazing kid.

Age 0-10: I’m cute, I’m talkative, I’m her biggest fan, I’m happy all the time, and I’m fun! ¬†My Mom and I get along swimmingly.

Age 10-18: I’m obnoxious, I’m talkative, I’m depressed, I’m angry, I’m going through puberty, I’m a crazy person, I’m mean and say things like “I hate you!” to my Mother. ¬†My Sister and I fight constantly, leaving our little Brother to complement running away from home. ¬†We are awful teenage girls and it’s a wonder we all survived! Ok, I am being a bit dramatic, but at this point in time my relationship with my Mother reaches an all-time low. (Yes, it all started back in 4th grade believe it or not!)

Age 18-22: I’m selfish, I’m talkative, I’m finding my way as a student and an artist. ¬†I’m getting my heart broken and making bad decisions, and I’m making some good decisions. ¬†Most importantly, my Mother and I are reaching a new level of understanding. ¬†I’m excited for her to visit, I’m starting to listen to her advice, I’m becoming more aware of the world around me, and life is good.

Age 22-27: ¬†I’m learning, I’m talkative, I’m trying new and exciting things, and I’m calling my Mom a lot! ¬†I crave her advice and her words that always seem to make it better. ¬†I look forward to every trip home to see family in Minnesota and North Dakota and can’t get enough of just hanging out with them. ¬†My Mother is suddenly the smartest person I know and she’s continually right about everything! ¬†Our relationship is thriving.

Age 28 or Present Day: ¬†My Mother is helping me plan my wedding to the Scottish and it’s one of the best years of my life. ¬†We are in¬†sync, we are inspired, we are happy, we are laughing, we are making smart decisions, and we are enjoying every single minute!

This is a pretty crazy time for my family with TWO weddings planned for 2013. ¬†If you don’t know me in real face-to-face life, or you’ve never visited my wedding blog, Journey to “i do”¬†then this might be news for you, but my little Sister got engaged over Memorial Day weekend and is getting married next June, which is almost exactly 3 months and one week after my wedding. ¬†Sounds stressful doesn’t it? ¬†Not for my Mom. Everyone who comes up to her with condolences about the fact that she must be SO busy or SO tired or SO overwhelmed gets the same response, “Oh I’m thrilled!” she says. ¬†And she means it too. My Mom couldn’t be more excited or happy for us, our weddings, and our future husbands. ¬†She is having the time of her life!

And it’s her positive attitude¬†that has gotten me through some low moments of not wanting to share the year ahead and some sad moments of missing out on things because I can only get back to Minnesota so many times. ¬†The truth is, I’m overjoyed and excited too! ¬†My Sister and I get to plan our weddings¬†simultaneously and it’s a huge blessing that I will cherish forever!

So there you have it, an Ode to my Mother. ¬†The best woman I know, the most patient wedding planner EVER, the drier of tears and the giver of smiles. ¬†Mom, I wouldn’t be where I am today without your love and support. ¬†I’m the luckiest girl alive and we’re gonna have one hell of a year. ¬†Cheers!

Quote: “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. ¬†They have clung to me all my life.” ¬†Abraham Lincoln

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Here’s hoping my babies come out with a Scottish accent

9 May

This is a relationship blog and there is a relationship I have yet to discuss on here that I’d like to talk about. I would like to discuss my feelings about children, specifically my own. Please do not freak out, no one is pregnant. Well no one is pregnant who is writing this blog. But someone (me) is planning a wedding and starting to nest, and feeling excited about the notion of having little ones in her future. When I look lovingly into the Scottish’s eyes and tell him I want to have his babies, the fear in the room is almost palpable. He gazes back at me and in an unsteady voice, says, “Not for a long time hunny.” OH NO. IT’S LIKE THE PROPOSAL ALL OVER AGAIN. This wonderful man I’m going to marry moves slower than any human being I know. He doesn’t do anything quick or rash, all moves must be calculated and planned years and years in advance. Meanwhile my biological clock ticking and the noise is really starting to bug me. My clock sort of revved up after getting engaged and while it starts off trying to be nice, it usually ends up yelling at me. My clock: “Umm excuse me, umm, your body was made to procreate, and umm, well, all of us here in this pale vessel would like to say, GIVE US SOMETHING TO NURTURE *GOD DAMNIT!” Of course it’s fitting that my biological clock is overly dramatic like myself.

 

 

I’ve decided the best way to explain my feelings on having children would be to fill out the Who, What, Where, Why, When and How Many of it all. Sort of like an English paper outline. Enjoy!

So, WHO? Well, if possible I’d like to have a Scottish-American kid, with an ideal mix being 60% Scottish and 40% American, because those Scots just eat whatever they want and don’t worry about a thing, plus they are the most laid-back culture I’ve ever been around! As long as the kiddos get some of my passion, drive, and at least one artistic quality, we’ll be all set. If for some reason I need to adopt (ps I think adoption is awesome) then I think an African-American boy and an Asian girl would be adorable.

WHAT? Human children please.

WHERE? This is a great question. I would like to have my kids live in Chicago because it’s kind of my favorite city of all time, but I would also like to be near my family when I raise my kids. So either Chicago or Minnesota… at this point I’m not sure the Scottish could fathom moving to an even colder climate, but the lure of free babysitting has to hold some weight, right? Ultimately, I will have my kids in the Midwest. Ain’t no better place for kid-raising the way I see it.

WHY? This is an even better question. Besides just the biological clock, I most simply want a family of my very own to dream, love, and grow with. I love my family, immediate, extended, and honorary, and I want to create my own little unit with new special traditions and memories. I want to put more awesome people in the world. People who will respect the earth and their fellow human beings, people who will not discriminate based on sexuality or race or physical condition, and people who add to the quality of life for those around them. So, you know, just to have a little mini-me walking around… just kidding, I’d kill her.

WHEN? Let’s just say if I found out I was preggers by our first anniversary in March 2014, I would not be upset! Although, I have to say, it’d be nice to have more than a year to worry about Number One (me), and as a nanny I get an insight into the raising of kids and since it really is life-changing there is no need to rush. On the other hand, I’m super excited and not sure how long I’ll be able to wait! I’m hoping the Scottish isn’t having a heart attack on the train right now as he reads this on his way home. His ideal is like years from now after we have a house and enough money saved up to send them all to Harvard. AS IF!

HOW MANY? I say 2-3 and the Scottish says 1-2. But I want to have two girls (sisterly love is the best and the worst all at the same time) and I also want to have a little boy, so three kids would be nice. But a family of four sits together so well on theme park rides and airplanes, plus one more kid = one more flight to Scotland, and we know those trips are gonna add up!! But on the other hand, I come from a family of three, and so does my mom

Two things I know for sure, I don’t want to have an only child, and I don’t want to have three boys. If we have two boys and start trying for a third, I’ll probably spend our life savings flying around the globe looking for the best method to ensure our next kid is a female. Cause at that point I’ll be the desperate mother of two boys and I’ll most likely already have a reputation of being crazy.

Overall, I will consider us blessed no matter what the gender, number, or Scottish-American mix our children have, but frankly that doesn’t make for a very fun blog post. ¬†For the ladies out there, when did your clock start ticking?!?!?! ¬†Or maybe it hasn’t, that’s OK too!!

* I do not take the Lord’s name in vain when speaking but I take a lot of liberties when writing and it just sounded better to say GOD DAMNIT than GOSH DAMNIT. Luckily for me, God has a sense of humor.

Quote: “There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.” Walt Streightiff

I have a dilemma

29 Feb

I must blog more. I feel strongly that writing is what I need to do right now. I need to buckle down and post more frequently; I need to share more, acquire more readers and get more hits. Blogging makes me happy and it’s my main artistic outlet at the moment so I’ve got to give it all I’ve got! In my head I see these foggy goals and good intentions but I also see NO FREE TIME to blog. I am going to be the busiest I’ve been in looong time due to the planning of my ultra-fabulous wedding. In the 1.5 weeks since I got engaged it’s already become life-consuming, and I don’t mean this in a negative way. I get to plan one wedding and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it, I’m going squeeze every drop of fun out of the bottle and I’m going to smile even when I’m so tired I wanna I die because I get to marry the man of my dreams and this is the most exciting time in my life! Any free time I have goes to planning, car rides with the Scottish have become wedding updates and recaps, and I’ve already pushed my bedtime back an hour (which isn’t so terrible since I went to bed earlier than my grandma anyway).

Lucky for me, I have the bonus stress of planning a wedding in another state and the double bonus stress of marrying a non-US citizen and all the fun paperwork that comes along with that. I have searched the web and there doesn’t seem to be any brides-to-be out there blogging about either topic. I mean, a wedding in Minnesota, in late winter/early spring, are you a lunatic? I know people have done it, I’ve seen the pictures but where’s the juicy inside scoop? I want to know what happened when the snow prevented your cake from making it on time and how you had to serve your guests store-bought cookies after a frantic trip to the grocery store, or how your MOH slipped on ice and ended up in the hospital for a fractured ankle but the photographer followed you all there to get some beautiful pics anyway. And hello, I know I am not the only person marrying a foreigner but why isn’t anyone blogging (bitching) about all the stupid rules and steps you have to follow, and do they really quiz your family to see if you’re in love? I need to know these things! But most of all, I want to laugh.

When all of this gets so overwhelming that I can barely afford to get to Minnesota let alone pay for the caterer or the DJ, I want to be able to laugh. Or I want to cry, either one works. I know I have trouble going with the flow sometimes, but I never have trouble laughing. So that’s my plan. Plan, laugh, mistake, laugh, hiccup, laugh, fail, laugh (and then cry)… you get the idea.

And since I can’t find any blogs with topics that fit my fancy, I will just have to write about them myself. I will make myself laugh and it will be sort of weird but I will do it.

Do you see my dilemma in all of this? It’s hard to believe but not everyone wants to read about weddings all the time. *GASP* I’m already making the conscious effort to not be a one-note Nancy and only discuss wedding things with friends in person, but while it might seem excessive, this is the place where I should be able to let it all out. On the other hand, I hate to lose readers and I hate to write with such tunnel vision, but it’s only one year of my life and then I promise to talk about normal stuff again. Until I have kids. Haha, just kidding! Kind of.

I still want this to be a relationship-focused blog, it’s just going to be about one relationship in particular most of the time, but within that, I can examine my relationships with my mother, sister, friends, father, brother, future mother and father-in-laws, my relationship with myself, and more!

I’m also going to submit my blog to the wedding website known as Weddingbee in hopes of being chosen to have my posts featured on their website to reach thousands of women. But to do that I need to write solely about my wedding and write more frequently. And when the next Midwestern bride marrying a gentleman from the UK searches the web for insight, she’ll find me, and hopefully she’ll laugh. ūüôā

Quote: From a bridal magazine, reminding brides to not over-tax their maids: “Are you planning a wedding or running a sweatshop?” It made me laugh.

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