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SLime Movie Review

1 Jan

I’m probably the only actor in the world that is NOT a movie buff, but I do enjoy a good cry, er, a good movie every once in a while. And I’m fully aware that most people don’t like the same movies I do, and that my taste is embarrassingly girly, but here I go anyway. I plan to use my publishing name from my Shutterfly account, hence the “SLime” in this blog title.

SLime Reviews New Year’s Eve directed by Garry Marshall

I think I started crying about half-way through the movie and didn’t stop until the end so… I would call that a success! This movie is all about relationships and since my blog is about relationships, it seemed like a perfect fit. Yes, these are contrived, sappy, and over-the-top relationships but they are realistic and entertaining. I really liked this movie and I don’t think I could have asked for more from a romantic comedy with over-lapping story lines. The main themes throughout the movie are hope and change. Many of the characters are trying to change their lives for the better and get out of old ruts and bad habits. The message of hope for the new year is something we all can relate to, and it’s what gets us through the bad years and what reminds us to be grateful for the good years. After a week solid of limited responsibility and being around my closest family and friends, I needed a good cry to get back into life. I tend to accept change and transition a little bit slower than the average joe, so watching this movie was cathartic for me and has me excited for a new year. Let’s go 2012!!

And now for no particular reason and with no disrespect to any of the artists in the film, I will now critique/give my humble opinions on each of the 800 stars in this movie:

Lea Michele- Overacting and pushing. Every time you started a monologue I lost interest. But you sing like a rock star and your version of Auld Lang Syne was worth the wait.

Ashton Kutcher- When I look at you I see one sad Demi. Sorry.

Jessica Biel- You’re kinda funny. PS I miss 7th Heaven!

Seth Meyers- Funny and sweet. Not cute.

Michelle Pfeiffer- Great work. Believable.

Zac Efron- Yummmy yum yum. How old are you? You are my new celebrity crush. And you can act. Win win.

Katherine Heigl- You play the same character every movie. That said, I like you. Mostly because you’re a blonde with a nice rack.

Jon Bon Jovi- What??? Umm, good job acting (I guess) in a completely stupid plot line (I guess).

Robert De Niro- You are a seasoned veteran who delivered. Thank you.

Halle Berry- To be honest, I haven’t seen you in many films, but I thought you were great. Plus your face is stunning.

Hilary Swank- You got progressively better as the film when on. Good work.

Ludacris- Ooooo, wow. Yeaaaaa, you were pretty bad. When asked, the Scottish said, “He was terrible, I could have done better!”

Sarah Jessica Parker- I loved you as a witch in Hocus Pocus, I loved you as the single Carrie Bradshaw in SATC, and I love you as an over-protective mother in this movie. PS How do you stay so thin? Did your metabolism ever slow down??

Josh Duhamel- Meh.

Abigail Breslin- You’re in that awkward stage between child star and adult star. Your acting chops are a tiny bit weak but you’ll get there. I like you.

Ryan Seacrest- You’re clearly a genius based on the empire you’ve created but you’re not an actor, even when playing yourself (which is harder than it looks). Lucky for me, you helped make the Kardashians the famous family they are today, and for that I thank you (and for that most people hate you too).

Even smaller cameos in a cameo-filled-movie:
Thumbs up to John Lithgow
Thumbs down to Alyssa Milano
Thumbs up to Penny Marshall
Thumbs up to Matthew Broderick

Overall I would give this movie to 4 out of 5 tears. It not only reached my expectations but surpassed them a bit as well by showcasing unique stories of love and not just boy meets girl boring-ness. My favorite plot lines would have to be Michelle Pfeiffer with Zac Efron, and Halle Berry with Robert De Niro. Go see it!!

Quote: “It only happens once a year: New Year’s Eve. It’s a time when hopeless can be romantic, and a resolution can become a revelation. And when one night can change everything.” Opening voice over of New Year’s Eve

Up next, a review of my holiday season and the relationships in my life, in a blog titled, “I didn’t get engaged over Christmas like you all were hoping for (yea right) but I did have a great time up north,” or something along those lines…. 🙂

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