Tag Archives: parents

This is the story of how I thought I might get engaged this weekend and then it really happened.

22 Feb

If this is your first time reading my blog and you don’t know how crazy I am, or if you just want a refresher, click HERE to read all about my desire to get hitched. And now for the story…

The Scottish was very VERY aware of the fact that I wanted to have my family nearby after the proposal. If you’ll remember back to Christmas and the drama of how he “missed” the perfect opportunity, it would make sense that he would seize this past weekend when my Mother and Father were visiting us here in Chicago. I know it sounds sort of weird, why wouldn’t I want to be alone with The Scottish at such a special time? Well, why do I blog about my inner-most thoughts? Why do I like to be in front of people? Why do I share private details of my life with complete strangers? All of these are great questions. The answer is, I love people, and my good news is your good news and vice-versa. I wanted to be able to hug my mom afterwards and luckily I got to do just that!

So all day on Saturday after picking up my parents from Midway Airport, I was going back and forth wondering if this would be the day. It ended up being the day we stood in line for over three hours to see the top of Willis Tower and to walk out over the famous “ledge;” compared to when my sister and SBF (sister’s boyfriend) were here and it took us 15 minutes, it felt like quite the wait! I heard later that the Scottish said to my Dad, “I’d like to marry your daughter,” while we were at the top overlooking the city. My Dad, true to form answered with a fist pump in the air to show his excitement. Later that night, he passed the good news on to my Mom and her next step was to quiz my Scottish to make sure he was marrying me because he wanted to and not because I was forcing him into it like some wedding-Nazi. He confirmed what I already knew and told her this was something he really wanted to do (he bought the ring while I was in NYC a few weeks ago visiting friends). Awww! Then they thought up the terrible brilliant plan of my Dad pretending he wanted to see the top of Trump Tower the next day after church since we hadn’t made plans for the afternoon yet.

So on our way to church the very next morning my Dad suggests this idea (while I’m thinking to myself this is what the Scottish really wants to do) and my Mom agrees to it, solidifying my suspicions. I mean, my Dad NEVER gets to make decisions, and there is no way my mom was going to let him decide our next step, especially after we’d already been to the top of the Willis Tower the day before. This is when I started to get nervous. And not only that, but my mother decides that morning to “practice” with the video camera, another tell-tale sign of what’s to come… and she asks me what I’m going to do that day. I thought briefly about being a smart-ass and saying, “I’m going to get engaged today,” but then decided against that because it wouldn’t have been fair to my wonderful and nervous Scottish.

That afternoon, my Dad and the Scottish go back to the apartment to find that *Gasp* the Trump Tower bar or whatever is closed due to it being off-season. He then finds that most of his ideal spots are closed for that same reason and starts to panick. Eventually, they tell my mom that they will meet us at the John Hanock Building at 3 PM. Of course, it makes no sense for us to wait in more lines to go back to the top of yet another tall building to see yet another view UNLESS it is so the Scottish can propose.

Meanwhile, I’m shopping with my Mother and having to use the bathroom every 30 minutes to umm you know, poop, because I’m soooo nervous. Finally, we meet up with them and take the elevator to the Signature Lounge, essentially the Wine and Cocktail bar, of the John Hanock. We find a table and order drinks. I hold his hand under the table and squeeze it multiple times to let him know I love him. I later hear that the Scottish gives my mom a look of “I can’t do this in front of so many people!!!” She blatantly discreetly takes my camera from me and then heads over to the window to check out the view. I debate going to the bathroom or not before deciding to follow her to the window.

And then…. The Scottish comes up behind me, puts his hand on the small of my back and at that moment I entered what I like to call, the haze, the cloud, the shock… and I have yet to come out of it. He tells me he loves me and that he wants to continue loving me for the rest of his life. He gets down on one knee, opens the ring box, and says, “Will you marry me?”

Then I say weird things like, “Ohmigosh, I can’t believe it, and thank you!” All before saying “YES YES.” We hug and kiss, my Mom starts to get teary-eyed, and we take more pictures. My parents are literally beaming, the Scottish is shaking, and I’m dumb-founded by the fact that I’m not crying. I’m just floating in happiness but I’m not crying the tears of joy I had anticipated.

Then we check the camera only to find my Mom completely missed the entire thing and has literally two seconds of my boobs on video so we make a sort of reenactment right there by the windows and even though it’s not the real thing I’m excited to have that memory on film.

The Scottish explained that had all these words in his head but they went out the door as soon as he opened his mouth to talk. My Dad said that people all over the bar were watching us and while I was slightly disappointed in the lack of clapping, it was unreal to be proposed to in such a public way.

Afterwards we began the phone calls and stared at the stunning beauty of my ring. The picture I posted does it no justice, I am just as bad as my Mother at using a camera so I plan to get professional engagement shots done and at that point there will be some good pictures of my beautiful princess cut diamond in all it’s sparkly glory.

I know that my friends were worried I’d be disappointed if it wasn’t the grand gesture that I had built up in my head, but my engagement story is perfect, even in its non-perfection. My fiance did a FANTASTIC job and just because I knew it was coming does not make it any less special. Life works out the way it’s supposed to and I wasn’t meant to get engaged at the top of Trump Tower. The John Hanock, on the other hand, is the place he took me for dinner the first time we celebrated my birthday together. It’s place I go with my nanny kids all the time, and the Signature Lounge is one of my favorite spots in the whole city to take out-of-town guests. And now, when I take someone up to the 96th floor, I can walk over to the window that I got engaged in front of and relive the moment all over again.

I can’t even begin to describe how good it feels to be engaged. The Scottish and I are more in love than ever and we are both so excited to begin this journey together. I feel at ease and at peace. I am enamored by my ring (and hoping that all the scary nightmares I was having will stop now that I have it). Both of our families are overjoyed and supportive; we couldn’t ask for more. In the one day of planning and talking about a season and a city location my Mom has been absolutely amazing. I know she is going to be the biggest help ever.

I will keep you all posted on when reality sinks in and it hits me that my dream is coming true. And now I just want time to slow down, I want everything to go slowly, and I want to enjoy every second. This was the story of my engagement, thanks for reading.

Quote: “You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” Dr. Seuss

note: Currently in the market for good wedding blog recommendations, specifically ones that deal with marrying someone who is NOT a US citizen, weddings set in Minnesota, and Scottish wedding traditions. I have not started looking yet, but would love to hear about your favorite wedding blogs!

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My parents are in town!! I have no time to blog!!

19 Feb

Does this look familiar? We took my parents to the Willis Tower on Saturday and waited in line for a little over 3 hours. Wow.

Oh, and dreams really do come true. Stay tuned for Wednesday’s post…

Quote: “Celebrate we will for life is short but sweet for certain.” Dave Matthews Band

In all seriousness

4 Jan

I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately. Mostly because I started The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo a week ago and it’s been freaking me out, totally FREAKING me out but I’m addicted and can’t wait to get to the second one. And I guess I’m also thinking about death because we recently entered a new year and with each new beginning, we look back, we look forward, and we are suddenly so aware of the time or the lack of it rather.

I really had a wonderful time at home visiting my family. The Scottish and I flew into Minneapolis and the next morning my bf and my whole family of five were driving to Bismarck, North Dakota to celebrate Christmas. It’s what we did last year, the year before that, the decade before that, and so on. But I can’t say for sure it’s what we will do next year. I suddenly feel so old and aware of everyone else’s age too. When did my grandparents get old(er)? For clarification, I’m referring to my mother’s parents, because my dad’s parents have since passed away. My dad’s mom and dad loved to travel and in the eighties they sold their house, bought a big RV, and spent the rest of their years traveling from campground to campground. Well, occasionally they would park it our backyard and that was the coolest thing ever because it was like having a little guest house out back that you could visit. But their deaths were very tough on my dad and we all thought Grandma went too soon, and we all remember how awful, and gut-wrenching it was to watch my dad’s dad deteriorate with Alzheimer’s and completely change his entire personality… and now we have to watch it again.

My mom’s father is suffering from Alzheimer’s as well. I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, both of my parent’s mothers had breast cancer and survived beautifully, but it is uncanny how two different bloodlines can mimic each other so distinctly. It’s just hard because it’s been a few years now of watching his brain go while he remains one of the healthiest men over age 30 that I know (and he just turned 80!!). He still works in his yard and his doctors are impressed with his fitness, but his brain on the other hand, keeps getting worse. If you’ve never experienced what it’s like to watch someone you love go through this, let me explain that it’s not the fact that they forget which day of the week it is or which grandkid went to which college, (who can remember that anyway)? The difficult part is the anxiety that comes along with losing your memory, they don’t know what to believe and it makes them nervous. The truth is that sometimes they might shower at midnight to get ready for the church service at 9 AM and they might think that their wife of over 50 years is actually their mother.

And yet this Christmas, Grandpa was great, he was funny, he played games, and enjoyed himself. It’s not always bad, but we’re not always there either. My heart breaks for my grandmother because I know many of us have wondered, is it harder on the loved one who is losing their partner or harder on the one losing his memory? I feel terrible for my mom and her siblings because it is their father who is going through all of these changes, and I feel empathy for my fellow cousins.

As if worrying about grandparents wasn’t enough now I find myself worried about my parents when I never used to before. I worry about their safety and their health. I try to de-clutter their house and I actually listen to their problems. Do you remember when you used to only talk about yourself with your parents? I’ll bet your they do. Parents by nature are unselfish beings (of course there are exceptions) but they are dealing with their own struggles and I don’t want them to have struggles! I want their lives to be perfect as they want mine to be.

My nurturing urges don’t stop there! I find myself thinking about my own FUTURE babies. Well, hello, I am 28! My mom had two kids by my age. Please don’t judge me, but I think about what they’ll look like, act like, if I’ll be too over-protective, if I’ll be as good a mother as I am a nanny, and how my parents are going to be so entirely smitten and how I can’t wait to see that.

I think about the Scottish and how I’d be lost without him. I know he didn’t propose over the holidays like I had hoped, but I’m OK with that and I’m OK with waiting a bit longer. I think we’re on the same page now, and as if it was a covered bulletin board, I took down every post-it note that contained a crazy proposal expectation, thus leaving with him a blank slate. And I let him know plain and simple that it’s him I want more than a big dramatic over-the-top romantic proposal, but of course he told me he wants all my dreams to come true, so where does that leave us? Back at square one?

And with all of these nurturing feelings I wonder if I should leave Chicago at some point. I’m torn between my desire to be closer to my family and my desire to pursue my own dreams and notions. I love this city and I know I belong here but my family is so important to me, so why am I not closer? My mom moved 8 hours from her parents and still makes the drive 5 or so times a year. Will I be able to keep that up? When I think about my future, all I see is airplanes! Flights to Minnesota, flights to Scotland, flights to who-knows-where! I guess our kids will be expert travelers by the time they’re one year old!

When I shared my fears with my mom, she told me to take it one year at a time. There’s no reason to worry about where you will live in the future, or what will happen, or where Christmas will take place next year… it just matters where you are now. And this year, I spent Christmas in ND with my amazing family, I came home to an apartment that I sort-of kind-of share with an amazing man, and I went back to my wonderful job and saw my two best kiddos, and for now, that is enough.

Quote: “As we grow old, our sense of the value of time becomes vivid. Nothing else, indeed, seems of any consequence.” William Hazlitt

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