Tag Archives: people

You too can be a guy-magnet/When in doubt put on your heels

12 Jun

NOTE: I realize this post is going to sound very heterosexual and specific, but that is only because I am limited to my experiences in FAILING as a guy-magnet, and because at one point I was attempting to attract men, but I’d like to recognize that some women might be looking for another women, and in that case would want to be a chick-magnet which is perfectly OK but not something I have the ability to speak on.

A lot of times I end up writing about people (mostly myself) in relationships, but what if you’re not in a relationship but you’d like to be?  Specifically speaking, how does a woman attract a new guy?  Well, I wouldn’t know. Seriously, I was single more years than I was in a relationship in the past decade since graduating high school, and I consider it a mixture of timing, luck, and fate that led me to the Scottish.  BUT I do have a friend who I consider to be a guy-magnet.  We’ll call her “High Heels” or HH for short.  Cause she is kinda short.  And she can rock a pair of heels all day long! I love this girl and have always found it amazing how she meets great new guys to date while I stayed single.  And it’s not like she dates any random loser that she meets, but instead HH has met mostly great guys and has had a few long, serious relationships.  The fascinating thing is that every time she attempts to be single, she fails.  She’s always meeting someone new!  This is why I’ve deemed her a guy-magnet.

The question then becomes: HOW DOES SHE DO IT?

Well as I’ve been studying her for years, (especially at times when I’ve been single), and I’ve been able to narrow it down to a few key points.

Step ONE: Lose the timeline.  You want to be married by X age?  Forget it. You want kids in X amount of years?  Drop it.  You want a house, a car, a pony, a boat like yesterday?  Stop caring.  Live life simply and day by day.  Throw all specific timelines in the trash.  HH doesn’t have a set schedule to follow in her life, rather she has goals that allow for the perfect amount of wiggle room.

Step TWO: Possess a sense of mystery.

Don’t share everything all at once, or as I like to call it, “word vomit” all over a guy.  Listen, share a little bit, and then listen again.  Don’t dismiss them when they talk even though they might sound stupid.  And don’t be as judgmental as me.  HH is not overly confident or too chatty and she doesn’t share everything all at once.

Step THREE: Talk to all different types of people, not just the only guy you find cute in the room.  If you only talk to the one guy you think is somewhat attractive you’re limiting yourself to one type.  The mediocre guy in the room might be really cute once you get to know them, and if not, they might have cuter friends.  HH gives everyone a chance, she doesn’t spend too much time judging, and she finds the good in everyone.

Step FOUR: Loudly pronounce your goal of being single for a while so the universe can hear you and locate the next man for you to date.  It’s almost as if when HH would say, “I want to be single for a while,” something was triggered in the world that made it untrue in matter of days.  But you have to be a good liar believe it for this one to work.

Step FIVE:  Look pretty.

Being a guy magnet requires some effort in the world of make-up, hair, clothing, and style.  Guys like it when women look like they take care of themselves.  HH takes care of herself, and of course she’s always rocking a pair of sexy heels.  I would like to take this time to point out that I think I’ve been doing Step FIVE since I was 13 years old, but when you don’t pair it with the other steps, you’re not gonna attract as many winners!

Step SIX: Be happy.  For real.  One of the things that attracts people to you the most (in a romantic sense or not) is happiness.  I’m not talking about the happiness that comes from a shopping high (although who DOESN’T love those!), but rather happiness in yourself.  One way to achieve this is by living your life in a way that makes you happy, in which you accept and respect yourself, including both the good and the not so good parts.  HH has a natural contentment flowing through her and that is attractive to others.

AND NOW FOR A SPECIAL TREAT!!  After asking HH to revise the steps inspired by her awesomeness, she had some extra advice about what to do once you meet someone new.  I think it makes total sense, so listen well.  🙂
HH Says: So someone’s engaged you in conversation…now what?  Relax.  That’s it.  Making a new connection can be very exciting, but that can tend to translate outwardly as desperation, over-eagerness, or nervousness.  Be relaxed and be engaged by transmitting that energy through your eyes and facial expressions only, you can mentally lower your shoulders and you give yourself the head space to really pay attention to the other person.  When you are relaxed, your date will relax as well, and not only will he really appreciate that about you, but you’re much more likely to have a fun conversation.  Ask them follow-up questions it will give you more time to think about what you want to say next, and avoid a lot of impression-ruining faux pas.
He wants to set up a date.  WOO.  Go you!  You obviously rock at this.  Now what?  Don’t be 100% available.  Chances are, if you are living a fullfilling life, you have friends and family and plans already made a few days in advance (or weeks in advance if you’re the ever-popular Stephanie, wink wink).  Don’t cancel those plans.  Something I almost always fall back on is to say I’m not available on the day requested (whether it’s true or not), but then offer another day.  This shows that I have a life, that I’m not desperate enough to drop it for a chance to go out with him, but by offering another time, I show that I’m interested.  Guys like a little bit of a chase, and, not gonna, lie, so do I.  A  guy who is available to me 24/7 is not nearly as attractive as one who is available 50% of the time.
Thanks HH!  You rock for helping me write this post, and kudos to you for being the first guest blogger on Drama Happens!!  🙂

So ladies, if you are single and looking, take this info and fly away!!  And if this post doesn’t apply to you at all, well then pass it on to someone who will find it helpful.  And if anyone has any other guy-magnet tips, comment here!!

Quote: “I don’t where to find a good guy.  I just think that they’re around and I think you have to be good and at some point you’ll attract that.  I really believe that.  First, people should stop looking.  The looking thing does not work.  Just let love find you.”  Brandy Norwood

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