Tag Archives: polygamy

“happy wife, happy life” times 4

30 Nov

Ahhhhh, polygamy. I’m very seriously fascinated with the whole idea of it. That doesn’t mean I’m interested in practicing polygamy myself (don’t worry Scottish). It’s just that I am a connoisseur of relationships and I love learning about unique and beyond-the-normal-person’s-comfort-zone relationships, and that includes polygamy. Polygamy is the practice of one man being married to more than one wife at one time. It’s a practice derived from a very conservative sect of the LDS (Mormon) church known as the Fundamentalist Mormons. I do not believe in their same faith so it makes sense that I don’t believe in polygamy, but man, do I respect it? Yes.

Did you know there is a term for one woman marrying multiple husbands? Cause I didn’t until now! It’s call polyandry. Apparently it was more common in Indian cultures back in the day. But if you ask a Fundamentalist they will tell you they do not believe in polyandry. Speaking awkwardly on behalf of the people who practice polygamy, I would say the biggest misconception is that polygamy is about a man’s need for sex. Hahaha. Ask any married man and he’ll tell you that having a wife does NOT necessarily mean you will be having tons of sex all the time. Marriage is a choice, a commitment, and a lot of work, so why would a guy choose extra nagging, oops, I mean more work! 🙂 If you want more sex, find a mistress. (please don’t do that though)

So, I’ve always been interested in this way of life but ever since the TLC show, “Sister Wives,” began airing in 2010, my fascination has grown in a positive way after seeing a family live this lifestyle up close and personal. The Browns are a pretty normal, conservative Utah family, now relocated to Las Vegas, except for the fact that the dad, Kody, is married to four different wives. These four wives call each other, “sister wives,” because as you can imagine, they develop really close bonds, bordering those of a sister. Personally, I love the concept of a sister wife, which is essentially a woman with whom you share your time, your life, your children, and most importantly, your husband. It is bizarre and it is different, but from what I’ve observed, they can be really loving and supportive relationships. I actually enjoyed the term so much that I encouraged one of my groups of girlfriends to take on the term as a nickname. Because why not? We all support each other through good times and bad, we celebrate big events and holidays together, and we share similar values. In my opinion, it’s the best part of being a sister wife. The worst part being, you share one man… which is obviously not the case between me and my friends.

Now I know it’s illegal to have more than one wife, and there is a ton of criticism surrounding polygamy due to child-brides and/or abusive husbands, which is definitely NOT OK, but those are select cases and not everyone in the demographic is doing that. The two biggest moral questions are, “What about the children?” and “Don’t the wives get super jealous?” Yes, what about the kids, how does it affect them, and also, how do the wives handle the intense feelings that come along with sharing the person you have the most intimate relationship with? Well, I can’t answer those questions, but I do think about them as well.

The whole reason I wanted to write about this topic is because I wanted to share part of this season’s finale of “Sister Wives.” Robyn (wife #4) just delivered her first baby with dad Kody. Everyone is over at her house to congratulate and rejoice in the happy news when Robyn asks to be alone with Meri (wife #1). Now you need some back story here, Meri has only one child with Kody while her other sister wives have multiple children with him. She has struggled with miscarriages over the years and at one point Kody asked her if she wanted to try IVF but she said no. Anyway, we’re back at Robyn’s bedside, moments after her home birth and Robyn tells Meri that she would like to be her surrogate. Mainly, she would be willing to carry and give birth to the child of Kody and Meri. What.a.gift.

Think of someone you know struggling to get pregnant, it’s very heart-wrenching isn’t it? Good things can come out of any thing, any person, and any situation. And even out of polygamy. Just… felt the need to share that.

Quote: “I never tell one client that I cannot attend his sales convention because I have a previous engagement with another client, successful polygamy depends upon pretending to each spouse that she is the only pebble on your beach.”

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