Tag Archives: Scottish

Are you in a bi-facial relationship?

3 Jun

No that is not a typo, I would like to discuss bi-FACIAL relationships, not bi-RACIAL relationships.  I have nothing against bi-racial relationships, the topic of facial relationships is altogether much more amusing.  I did not coin this phrase, nor do I know how long it’s been around.  I first heard it on the radio while listening to my favorite Chicago morning radio-show hosts, Eric and Kathy on The Mix.  They introduced the idea of a bi-facial relationship to me explaining that it’s what you label a couple in which one person’s face is MUCH more attractive than the other person’s face.  Say you have a woman who is a 10, and her partner is a 3, that would be considered bi-facial.  But a couple who are both 6’s would be considered to be of the same attractiveness and therefore wouldn’t warrant any funny label.

The radio-show hosts were asking people to call in who thought they were part of a bi-facial relationship.  They specifically asked for the person with the HIGHER number to call in, and every single caller that I heard while listening was a woman!  Frankly, I’m not so shocked.  Women as a gender are considerably more attractive in my humble opinion.  I see more women in ads trying to sell things, and I can recognize that the curves and shape of a woman is sometimes more pleasing than that of a man.  Personally, I can usually find something attractive about every woman I see, but on the other hand, I’m really picky about the men I find attractive and tend to judge them more harshly.

I can totally picture a really hot woman with a mediocre man, but don’t really like to picture it the other way around!  I blame society (cause why not)!  Aren’t women expected to be more attractive? Do we secretly like it that way?  I have no answers, only questions.  While this whole idea makes me laugh, I know there is nothing funny about body image issues and I KNOW that we all have them.  We all act as our own worst critic, and that can be downright exhausting.

Back to the fun stuff… are you curious to know how more about my personal facial relationship?  Oh good, me too!  First off let me say I think the Scottish is dreamy.  He has an adorable face, and I would NOT consider us to be part of the bi-facial crowd, but I am a tad biased of course.  After hearing the radio show I did ask the Scottish to rate my face (asking for disaster I know!) and he gave me a 8.5, which I agree with for the most part!  (Please refrain from commenting, I’m a fragile artist type.)  The Scottish gave himself a mid-range number and I raised it to a 7 because well, he’s way sexier than he gives himself credit for!  We are comfortable with this arrangement and consider both of our faces to be just right for us.  🙂

WARNING:  Do not try this at home!  Do not ask your significant other how they would rate the attractiveness of your face if you don’t want to hear the answer! Things could get ugly (hehe).  The Scottish and I have a very candid and open relationship.  We discuss a lot of things lightly and with humor so for us this was FUNNY.  Do not compare your faces if you don’t think it will be FUNNY, or if you think you will have the lower number.  Duh.

The other fascinating thing about the radio conversation with all the women callers was that their men’s ratings when down the longer they sat on hold.  Multiple women said, I was gonna give him a 4, but I just decided he’s a 3.  What??  Either they were being nice with the first number or they wanted to widen the gap to add some drama, either way it was hilarious.  One woman said she was 8 and I believe she gave her husband a 2.5.  When asked why so low, she said, “Well his obesity has a lot to do with it.”  Umm, yea, you think?

So I was looking for an example of a bi-facial relationship on the good ol’ internet.  Let me just say that you should never under any circumstances type in the words ugly man into a search engine. It is not pleasant!! I’m still sort of gagging.  But we need an example!

Here is a picture of a famous couple, or at least I think they are famous (I don’t follow celebs besides the Kardashians and the families on TLC).   Do you see the bi-facialness?

photo found at Unfinished Man

Quote: “One must love humanity in order to reach out into the unique essence of each individual: no one can be too low or too ugly.” Georg Buchner

I’m a weirdo, what can I say?

16 May

Doesn’t everyone have their odd habit or two?  Isn’t that what makes us unique… or is that just what I tell myself!  HA.  I think we should all embrace the super bizarre things we do, laugh at them, and then continue doing them. I know I will.

In no particular order:

I have been known, on more than one occasion, to eat chocolate candies WHILST working out.  Immediate rewards for burning calories or just plain stupid?  You decide.

I prefer to eat all dairy products with a plastic spoon, this includes but is not limited to yogurt and ice cream.  In fact, I’ll go a step weirder and say I prefer plasticware to silverware.  Although I will be registering for latter, I secretly wish the former was more acceptable.  Sidenote: The biggest pet peeve of the Scottish is when my teeth clink on the silverware while I’m eating.  The sound doesn’t bother me, but since I prefer plastic anyway we are thinking we might start keeping two sets of cutlery in the house.

My least favorite thing about a big city is the traffic and lack of parking!  Parking is really brutal in some parts of Chicago and one of my friends likes to laugh at me because if I am driving to a party, or some type social event and I can’t find anywhere to park, I’ll just drive home.  I’ll get all the way there, circle for about 15-20 minutes, and then give up and drive all the way back home.  A true Chicagoan always finds parking, and I’m getting better at it these days, but there was a time when I was new to the city and would miss out on things because I couldn’t find a place to leave my car!

Sometimes I daydream so long in the shower that I’m completely behind schedule and find myself racing around the house to finish getting ready.  I love a scalding hot shower and it’s one of my favorite places to daydream and imagine.

My obsessive compulsive tendencies make it so I have trouble skimming or skipping parts when reading ANYTHING.  I have to read every blog entry in my reader.  If I start a magazine, I must look at every article.  If there’s a forward, preview, prologue, appendix, epilogue, etc to a book, i will always read them.  Sometimes I wish I could skip things, but my brain won’t let me!!

I’d rather clean a toilet than cook a 5 course meal any day of the week!

I hate bugs, sleeping outside, dirt, and eating at a picnic table but I LOVE camping with my family every summer!  My Dad grew up camping and my parents have taken us camping every year since I was young, it was definitely the most cost-effective way to vacation in a family of five and a great way to explore the United States.  This self-proclaimed girly-girl has on more than one occasion walked almost a mile to the bathroom, gone hiking through rough terrain and has spent days without doing her hair or make-up.  Going camping is one of my favorite times of the year, believe it or not.

My tent.  Just kidding, I don’t sleep in tents!  We have a pop-up tent camper that allows me to sleep off the ground, a princess is a princess after all.

This is more like it!

I tend to sob-cry when watching TV.  It doesn’t matter which show, it could be Friends or Undercover Boss, but something will spark my emotional side and suddenly I’m in tears.  The best time EVER was when I saw the movie UP (for the second time I might add) at home with the Scottish.  I started sob-crying during the opening scene with Mr. Fredricksen and his wife.  At first, the Scottish thought I was in pain or hurt, he was worried that I was convulsing in such a way that was not normal, but nope, that’s just how I sob-cry.  After he realized I was OK, he starts laughing hysterically at the absurdity of the situation.  Then I start laughing and soon I’m sob-crying-laughing and there is just snot everywhere.  That’s love.

Quote: “Is it weird in here or is it just me?”  Stephen Wright

Sorry for the lack of frequency on Drama Happens but managing two blogs is quite time-consuming (I think I need an intern!) and the wedding blog is getting much more of my time right now!  But don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll be more weird stories to come!  🙂  Til then!

Here’s hoping my babies come out with a Scottish accent

9 May

This is a relationship blog and there is a relationship I have yet to discuss on here that I’d like to talk about. I would like to discuss my feelings about children, specifically my own. Please do not freak out, no one is pregnant. Well no one is pregnant who is writing this blog. But someone (me) is planning a wedding and starting to nest, and feeling excited about the notion of having little ones in her future. When I look lovingly into the Scottish’s eyes and tell him I want to have his babies, the fear in the room is almost palpable. He gazes back at me and in an unsteady voice, says, “Not for a long time hunny.” OH NO. IT’S LIKE THE PROPOSAL ALL OVER AGAIN. This wonderful man I’m going to marry moves slower than any human being I know. He doesn’t do anything quick or rash, all moves must be calculated and planned years and years in advance. Meanwhile my biological clock ticking and the noise is really starting to bug me. My clock sort of revved up after getting engaged and while it starts off trying to be nice, it usually ends up yelling at me. My clock: “Umm excuse me, umm, your body was made to procreate, and umm, well, all of us here in this pale vessel would like to say, GIVE US SOMETHING TO NURTURE *GOD DAMNIT!” Of course it’s fitting that my biological clock is overly dramatic like myself.

 

 

I’ve decided the best way to explain my feelings on having children would be to fill out the Who, What, Where, Why, When and How Many of it all. Sort of like an English paper outline. Enjoy!

So, WHO? Well, if possible I’d like to have a Scottish-American kid, with an ideal mix being 60% Scottish and 40% American, because those Scots just eat whatever they want and don’t worry about a thing, plus they are the most laid-back culture I’ve ever been around! As long as the kiddos get some of my passion, drive, and at least one artistic quality, we’ll be all set. If for some reason I need to adopt (ps I think adoption is awesome) then I think an African-American boy and an Asian girl would be adorable.

WHAT? Human children please.

WHERE? This is a great question. I would like to have my kids live in Chicago because it’s kind of my favorite city of all time, but I would also like to be near my family when I raise my kids. So either Chicago or Minnesota… at this point I’m not sure the Scottish could fathom moving to an even colder climate, but the lure of free babysitting has to hold some weight, right? Ultimately, I will have my kids in the Midwest. Ain’t no better place for kid-raising the way I see it.

WHY? This is an even better question. Besides just the biological clock, I most simply want a family of my very own to dream, love, and grow with. I love my family, immediate, extended, and honorary, and I want to create my own little unit with new special traditions and memories. I want to put more awesome people in the world. People who will respect the earth and their fellow human beings, people who will not discriminate based on sexuality or race or physical condition, and people who add to the quality of life for those around them. So, you know, just to have a little mini-me walking around… just kidding, I’d kill her.

WHEN? Let’s just say if I found out I was preggers by our first anniversary in March 2014, I would not be upset! Although, I have to say, it’d be nice to have more than a year to worry about Number One (me), and as a nanny I get an insight into the raising of kids and since it really is life-changing there is no need to rush. On the other hand, I’m super excited and not sure how long I’ll be able to wait! I’m hoping the Scottish isn’t having a heart attack on the train right now as he reads this on his way home. His ideal is like years from now after we have a house and enough money saved up to send them all to Harvard. AS IF!

HOW MANY? I say 2-3 and the Scottish says 1-2. But I want to have two girls (sisterly love is the best and the worst all at the same time) and I also want to have a little boy, so three kids would be nice. But a family of four sits together so well on theme park rides and airplanes, plus one more kid = one more flight to Scotland, and we know those trips are gonna add up!! But on the other hand, I come from a family of three, and so does my mom

Two things I know for sure, I don’t want to have an only child, and I don’t want to have three boys. If we have two boys and start trying for a third, I’ll probably spend our life savings flying around the globe looking for the best method to ensure our next kid is a female. Cause at that point I’ll be the desperate mother of two boys and I’ll most likely already have a reputation of being crazy.

Overall, I will consider us blessed no matter what the gender, number, or Scottish-American mix our children have, but frankly that doesn’t make for a very fun blog post.  For the ladies out there, when did your clock start ticking?!?!?!  Or maybe it hasn’t, that’s OK too!!

* I do not take the Lord’s name in vain when speaking but I take a lot of liberties when writing and it just sounded better to say GOD DAMNIT than GOSH DAMNIT. Luckily for me, God has a sense of humor.

Quote: “There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million.” Walt Streightiff

The dreaded “M” word or Fight #1 about Money

5 May

Friday morning I groggily walked into the bathroom to start my shower, and I heard this buzzing sound. Seriously? We have had the same GIANT fly circling in our bedroom/bathroom area for about three days now. To quote one of my all-time favorite movies, Austin Powers, when his deadly weapons continually fail to kill one of Dr. Evil’s assassins, he screams in confusion, “Why won’t you die?”  This is how I feel about the fly. The fly isn’t smart enough to find the exit and with a garden apartment, we don’t ever open the windows, so he’s stuck in our house until he dies. And I’m thinking, What if he’s starving to death? I feel bad, we should get a fly swatter and kill him to put him out of his misery. Oh no, what if he dies on our bed!  That would be terrible. I wonder if he is frightened because he is so trapped. He’s a fly so maybe he doesn’t know he’s going to die. Poor little, ugly fly.

As my heart begins to race in worry over the feelings concerning a FLY, it hits me, I worry about the world’s STUPIDEST things. It’s true.  And embarrassing.

But since I am an equal-opportunity worrier,  I also worry about important things.  I worry about flies and I worry about MONEY.

photo courtesy of wmpu.org

I mean, come on, who doesn’t?

The Scottish and I went to a Financial Planning small group through our church this past week and boy did it spark some conversation! Remind me to yell at thank my friends for inviting us. 🙂  We spent the entire car ride home plus another hour and 15 minutes fighting about priorities and budgets.  Hey, at least it got us talking, right?  The Scottish and I communicate really well and have discussed money in the past, even sharing personal things such as the activity of our bank accounts, but now that it is officially (almost) time for us to put our funds together and to voice our financial goals, it seems we are struggling to get on the same page.

We both agree on simple ideas like, savings = good, and debt = bad.  But there’s more to it than that!  Plus, while I enter our marriage with a condo and a car, I also bring in a lot of student debt.   The Scottish is the one who has admirable amounts of money in savings, but can’t get a credit card with more than a 300 dollar limit because of a lack of credit history in this country.  Our difference of opinion stems from the fact that I was brought up sort of “you can’t take it with you” style/spend the money on people you love while you have it, and the Scottish was taught to think long-term, to be ready for any crisis, and to be practical.  As this financial leader guy told us in the video we watched during small group, “there’s always the free spirit and the nerd.”  Can you guess who is who??

I can’t get into any more details, you know, money is kind of private, but I will say, we have the same goals and thoughts about money but we want to take different routes to get there.  While our conversation the other night was heated, it was also productive.  We might have fought the night of the small group but we both calmed down and by the next night we were able to sit down and make a tentative monthly budget.  And there wasn’t any fighting!  This small group brought up tons of great ideas, cash flow plans, a will, retirement, college funds, emergency funds, snowballing your debt, etc.  I think we just got overwhelmed at first, because, hello, THERE IS A LOT TO DO.  Not to mention, tack on a name change, a landlord situation, and a green-card to our list of To-DO’s.

Naturally, that first night I really wanted to go to bed mad at my Scottish.  The entire disagreement was filled with snappy comments, rude glares, and a bit of shouting.  Finally, too exhausted to talk anymore, I went to bed.  But after 5 minutes of being alone, I couldn’t stop thinking about how much I love him.  And how he should know that even in the middle of a fight.  It was just one talk, one disagreement, or as I like to call it, “Fight #1 about Money,” because I know enough about being married that it won’t be our last fight about the “M” word.  But if I had to pick someone to fight with (and my mom was busy) I’d definitely pick the Scottish.  🙂

So I dragged myself back out to the living room for a hug.

Me: “I love you.  Are you still annoyed with me?

Scottish: “Yea, a little.”

Me: “Yea me too. You coming to bed soon?”

Scottish: “Yea, you go lay down, I’ll be there in a minute.”

*kiss*

Quote: “Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.” Groucho Marx

Never thought I’d do THIS

13 Mar

I think I will be booking my wedding venue sight unseen.

Now, before anyone freaks out, calls me crazy, (or just plain stupid), let me explain. Just because my fiance and I will not be viewing the venue does not mean that no one will have seen it. In fact, two very trusted people have seen said venue and have fallen in love with it. They are my mother and my sister, and I heard through the grapevine that one of them may have cried tears of joy. How is that for a confirmation? Besides that, who knows me better than my mom and little sis? They get my taste for fancy, they know my need for drama, and they understand how I want things to look more expensive than they really are… in short, they know how to think like a princess. 🙂

This isn’t an easy decision though and in all honesty, it’s not been officially made. I still have to have the final conversation with the Scottish about this and before that he and I are viewing a hotel (of the same chain) here in the Chicago area to see if this is the sort of place we can envision ourselves getting married. The other part of the plan is for my mother to check out an entirely different hotel option before any deposits are made, and then if we all agree that it is the right step, we might just go for it. Sight unseen.

The thing is, I can’t get back to Minnesota until early May! And if we go with our March idea for a wedding (more on that to come in a post called, “I’M HAVING A MARCH WEDDING IN MINNESOTA SO I MUST BE A LUNATIC EVEN THOUGH SO FAR THIS CURRENT MARCH HAS THE BEST EVER”) and it’s already less than 365 days til the BIG day, yikes but also how exciting is that!?!?! The venue needs to be booked so we can send out STD’s to everyone, so people from across the pond can start pricing flights, so other vendors can be booked, etc, etc, ETC.

That said, it’s quite frightening to commit to something you’ve never seen. But it helps that we have limited options to begin with:
1. We love the idea of one-stop wedding hopping, especially considering our percentage of OOTG. (Quiz time, do you remember what that means? Out-of-town guests, yay GO YOU!) We really want our guests to have the luxury of one space fits all! We want people to be able to flow easily from ceremony to cocktail hour to reception and finally to their comfy hotel beds. Speaking from experience, I’ve always enjoyed the option of switching my shoes, putting my purse away, or just using a private bathroom when I’ve stayed at the same hotel or lodge that the wedding reception was taking place in.
2. We save on transportation costs. The Chicagoans and Scottish folk will be able to avoid car rentals because the hotel we are looking at has free shuttles to and from the airport as well as shuttles to the MOA (Mall of America) and other places. The Minnesotans can drive if they so desire because the hotel is only 15 minutes from our Twin City suburb, and they will know the area. They’ll also know how to drive on the right side of the road. (Hehehe, Mr. Scottish isn’t going to find that as funny as I do!)
3. I am without a church to call my home. I grew up attending church in an elementary school cafeteria. We were big on faith and people but didn’t have much money so we rented our space every Sunday from a local school. When my church joined with another church in the area that had a nice sized building I was getting older and soon went off to college. It’s a nice building but it’s just not big enough to house all of our friends, families, and my princess dreams.

So ultimately, it made sense that we would have a religious-based ceremony but that it wasn’t going to be in a church. To be honest, I had always pictured myself walking down a beautiful aisle in a gorgeous church with stained glass windows, a commanding organ, and a familiar pulpit, but those kinds of churches don’t exist in my non-denominational faith anyway, so when discussing venue options with my parents that first night we were engaged, both the Scottish and I decided on a hotel with little hesitation.

I am ready! I am ready to commit to a date, a place, and a time. This wedding will be uniquely our own and it will happen where and when it should. It’s a practice of faith really, believing in something you can’t see, and trusting the ones you love. Not a bad thing to have to practice in my book.

Quote: “All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” Peter Pan (J.M. Barrie)

He loves me, he loves me not, he proposed aka he loves me!

11 Mar

Dorky title I know, but what can I say? I’m feeling dorky. And I’m feeling psyched. And I have to get the words out on paper. Every once in awhile it just hits me, the Scottish really wants to marry me! How cool is that?!?!

I think a little bit of back story is necessary. My man is wonderful in general but a romantic he is not. And that’s totally fine with me. He’s a man’s man (albeit a skinny one) but he likes beer and football and he’s not a sissy. He’s adventurous, always up for a challenge, he knows computers, plays video games, prefers me in low-cut tops, and drinks whiskey straight. He’s a total guy.

I love him for everything that he is and while dating, I knew that he loved me, unconditionally, I knew that he wanted to be with me FOREVER, and I knew that his heart and my heart were stuck together (because I, on the other hand, AM a romantic) but my guy’s guy did not really want to talk about marriage as quickly as I did. It stressed him out and forced him to think about responsibility, growing up, and above all, lifelong commitment (AHHHH!)!! So, for awhile there I was the one saying COME ON, I JUST WANNA GET MARRIED, and he was the one saying, whoa let’s date for like two or three years first and get to know each other more. UGH.

It didn’t help that I was and still am surrounded by women with uber-romantic men in their lives. I have a handful of women that met their current partner and the GUY was the first one to talk about marriage. I found myself comparing and wondering why Mr. Scottish wasn’t acting the same, super-romantic way that they were acting. But I’d remind myself that I like him the way he is and every man is different. I love all the things that make him a man’s man, so why would I want to change that? Plus, he DOES buy me flowers on Valentine’s Day and it might have taken him almost two years to purchase a piece of jewelery (beautiful Swarovski crystal earrings) but that’s OK because he outdid himself when it came to my stunning engagement ring. wowza.

Since I’ve been engaged I’ve been walking around (on my little cloud) exclaiming sometimes to myself and sometimes out loud, The Scottish wants to marry ME! What.an.honor. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world because my man’s man decided it was time to settle down and be someday’s husband. And being engaged looks very good on him. He smiles when I call him my fiancé and he somewhat enjoys the wedding planning process and is definitely being very helpful thus far.

So I know there are lots of men out there in touch with their sensitive side and those that show more emotion and romance, but it is an indescribable feeling you feel when the person you love asks you to marry them. (Especially when it puts him so far out of his comfort zone that he would never do it if he didn’t feel it 100 percent.)

I NEED QUOTES.

Kilt Woes from an American Bride

8 Mar

Formal Scottish Garb

Soooo, we had our first big budget-stressing WR fight tonight. About Kilts. One of us thinks it’s too expensive to get a custom kilt made and legally registered to the Scottish’s last name. The other person thinks it’s worth the money for a lifetime of family memories.

Can you guess who is on what side? My logical, realistic, super smart Scottish fiancé believes we should NOT go the custom route because we simply cannot afford. He says it’s something we can do in three years time. My opinion is this, when is there ever an extra 1500 dollars lying around to spend on a specially made tartan and all the accoutrement that go with it (and trust me there’s a lot of things, including but not limited to a man purse and a knife type thing)? There is always something expensive to buy no matter the stage in life, ie. car, house, babies, living in Chicago, etc, so why not now? Why not have the beautiful memories captured on film of this one-of-kind kilt for generations and generations to come? This isn’t for us, this is for our kids who are going to grow up learning about America and Scotland, this is for our grandkids, this is for Scottish Mum and Dad, for his wee sister, for everyone! I can see my future and I can see my adorable children and I get tears in my eyes. I want them to know both cultures and I can’t think of a better way to start off our life together than with my FH wearing a kilt representing his Scottish last name. I can envision him buying one down the line and wearing his family clan’s kilt to someone else’s wedding for it’s first outing and it just breaks my heart.

I know it’s not in the budget right now. Heck, most things I want do not fit in the budget right now! But I am a romantic at heart. I am hopeless and family oriented and passionate and would be so proud to have his family name attached to his wedding garb.

You know I’m serious because I started taking stuff OUT of the budget. I offered to nix a videographer and also take money from my dress budget. It’s that important to me.

Sigh, I love my fiancé and this will all get worked out and I have faith that the right kilt will be worn on our special day no matter what it looks like or what name it is associated with. So I’m going to go to bed now. Nothing more can be decided tonight.

PS I had a post started about how wonderful the Scottish is and how happy I am to be engaged! All still true, but life is funny sometimes. I guess that one will have to wait!
PPS Blogging = best wedding therapy yet!

Quote: “Frankly, I am not in the mood to find a quote about kilts.” Me

%d bloggers like this: