Tag Archives: Tears

Two most important aspects of an intimate relationship are God and Sex

26 Jun

HA! ¬†This blog post has nothing to do with God OR Sex but I got your attention didn’t I? ūüôā ¬†Thanks for reading and my sincere apologies for the long absence. ¬†Truthfully, I think about “Drama Happens” A LOT, and I miss writing about relationships, but blogging about my wedding and actually planning the wedding, at the same time, proves to be quite time-consuming.

But I have something to say about a VERY important relationship in my life.  Probably one of the most important ones EVER.

My Mommy. ¬†ūüôā ¬†(She is the reason behind my title.) ¬†Let me paint the picture: Best Friend and I are sitting on my couch in our family room chatting with my Mother. ¬†My Mother is someone who swears by saying “Oh Sugar!” and “Fish Face!!” ¬†My Mother doesn’t drink alcohol, coffee, OR pop… yes it baffles us all. ¬†My Mother has wanted to be a teacher all her life and my Grandmother jokes that she came out of the womb telling people what to do. ¬†My Mother donates infinite amounts of time and resources to her church and community. ¬†She brings God and forgiveness to inmates at a prison in southern Minnesota and she inspires us all DAILY. ¬†She has her flaws, I mean, no one is perfect, but if you asked me to show the most well-rounded, loving, joyful, respectful, caring, compassionate person I knew it would be my Mother. Hands down.

Back to the couch and my Mother’s most awkward words of wisdom ever! ¬†Best Friend and I are in the middle of male relationship strife no doubt (I honestly can’t remember at this point) and we were asking my Mom about the secret to a happy marriage and she said the two most important parts are God and Sex. CUE EMBARRASSMENT! ¬†Ewww Mom, who says that? ¬†My guess is she barely remembers this convo since it happened years ago and my other guess is that she’s a tiny bit embarrassed that I shared it with you all, but I think she’s right. ¬†She’s one smart Momma.

Despite the random side story, I have no intentions of talking about marriage, Sex, or God (also I don’t know why I keep capitalizing Sex as if it’s super important but regardless I’m just gonna go with it now). ¬†I want to talk about my awesome Mother and the journey I took to realizing her awesomeness.

It all started back when I was little (and adorable or so I’ve heard) and my Mom thought I was an amazing kid.

Age 0-10: I’m cute, I’m talkative, I’m her biggest fan, I’m happy all the time, and I’m fun! ¬†My Mom and I get along swimmingly.

Age 10-18: I’m obnoxious, I’m talkative, I’m depressed, I’m angry, I’m going through puberty, I’m a crazy person, I’m mean and say things like “I hate you!” to my Mother. ¬†My Sister and I fight constantly, leaving our little Brother to complement running away from home. ¬†We are awful teenage girls and it’s a wonder we all survived! Ok, I am being a bit dramatic, but at this point in time my relationship with my Mother reaches an all-time low. (Yes, it all started back in 4th grade believe it or not!)

Age 18-22: I’m selfish, I’m talkative, I’m finding my way as a student and an artist. ¬†I’m getting my heart broken and making bad decisions, and I’m making some good decisions. ¬†Most importantly, my Mother and I are reaching a new level of understanding. ¬†I’m excited for her to visit, I’m starting to listen to her advice, I’m becoming more aware of the world around me, and life is good.

Age 22-27: ¬†I’m learning, I’m talkative, I’m trying new and exciting things, and I’m calling my Mom a lot! ¬†I crave her advice and her words that always seem to make it better. ¬†I look forward to every trip home to see family in Minnesota and North Dakota and can’t get enough of just hanging out with them. ¬†My Mother is suddenly the smartest person I know and she’s continually right about everything! ¬†Our relationship is thriving.

Age 28 or Present Day: ¬†My Mother is helping me plan my wedding to the Scottish and it’s one of the best years of my life. ¬†We are in¬†sync, we are inspired, we are happy, we are laughing, we are making smart decisions, and we are enjoying every single minute!

This is a pretty crazy time for my family with TWO weddings planned for 2013. ¬†If you don’t know me in real face-to-face life, or you’ve never visited my wedding blog, Journey to “i do”¬†then this might be news for you, but my little Sister got engaged over Memorial Day weekend and is getting married next June, which is almost exactly 3 months and one week after my wedding. ¬†Sounds stressful doesn’t it? ¬†Not for my Mom. Everyone who comes up to her with condolences about the fact that she must be SO busy or SO tired or SO overwhelmed gets the same response, “Oh I’m thrilled!” she says. ¬†And she means it too. My Mom couldn’t be more excited or happy for us, our weddings, and our future husbands. ¬†She is having the time of her life!

And it’s her positive attitude¬†that has gotten me through some low moments of not wanting to share the year ahead and some sad moments of missing out on things because I can only get back to Minnesota so many times. ¬†The truth is, I’m overjoyed and excited too! ¬†My Sister and I get to plan our weddings¬†simultaneously and it’s a huge blessing that I will cherish forever!

So there you have it, an Ode to my Mother. ¬†The best woman I know, the most patient wedding planner EVER, the drier of tears and the giver of smiles. ¬†Mom, I wouldn’t be where I am today without your love and support. ¬†I’m the luckiest girl alive and we’re gonna have one hell of a year. ¬†Cheers!

Quote: “I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. ¬†They have clung to me all my life.” ¬†Abraham Lincoln

Sharing a bed with someone makes crying yourself to sleep nearly impossible

15 Feb

And I found this out the hard way on Monday night. I was watching the new show Smash, and if you are unfamiliar with this new drama, the short version is that it’s a show about show business. It’s a behind the scenes look at the producing, writing, auditioning, and directing of a Broadway musical. Can you say, “hits too close to home?” I mean, I really can’t pretend to relate to New York actresses who sing and dance and audition for high-profile productions about Marilyn Monroe, BUT I have felt those same feelings and I can only imagine how much harder it is to be a starving artist in NY. The blonde girl in the show has been back-up dancing in a musical for nearly a decade and is really talented but tries too hard, and the skinny brunette girl (Katharine McPhee) waits tables, has a very supportive boyfriend, and loads of talent but not enough drive or fierceness to land a big role. I relate to both of them, I try too hard AND I’m sort of the meek quiet girl when it comes to auditioning. Coupled with my hiatus from the stage and these intense feelings rushing back, I just needed a good theatrical cry.

The Scottish, and I’ll say men in general, do NOT enjoy it when women cry. They feel the need to “fix” it and they try to make suggestions and encourage you to try harder when all you want is them to say is, “It’s going to be OK.” That’s all that’s needed. But the Scottish in particular feels bad and doesn’t want me to be upset, and so I’m forced to get it together and end a good cry too early. It’s a real shame. Back in my single days I would be able to have a good meltdown by myself whenever I needed it. Sometimes I’d have two before bedtime. I am an equal-opportunity cry-er, I will cry about anything, about missing home and family, about being single and alone, about not getting the part I wanted, and most recently about back pain. And the best part (for me) is turning off all the lights, laying on my side, and letting the tears roll down my face. I imagine how cool this would look in a movie and for a moment I forget whatever it is I’m depressed about. Soon I remember why it is my life sucks in the first place, and then I yell at myself because I’m so lame I’m not even crying over real problems, and then I cry because I don’t like it when I’m forced to yell at myself. Finally, I fall asleep and then wake up the next morning refreshed and ready to tackle my “problem.” Suffice it to say, crying is a nice emotional release for me and it usually puts me in a way better mood.

But with the Scottish laying right next to me, I am feeling self-conscious and downright stupid. I know I have to quit the water works fast because he’s a light sleeper and I can’t very well be making sobbing noises when he has to get up for work the next day. Plus if he puts his arm around me he’s going to feel my shaking and that could be equally distracting. And then of course he’ll be worrying! He won’t be able to fall asleep knowing I’m so upset. I’ve tried in vain to explain to him that I’m not really that upset; I just enjoy a good cry everyday now and then.

BUT NO. I am forced to stifle my sniffles, blow my nose, and tell him that I’m OK so we can both get some sleep. Ahhhhh, sometimes I look back fondly on those dramatic nights, but when I really think about it, I have to say I prefer having someone laying next to me who cares enough to try and “fix” it. And there’s always the bathroom floor. ūüôā

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day! The Scottish bought me roses, a lovely card, and we had a wonderful dinner at this super cute wine bar in Wicker Park!

Quote: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.” Bible Psalms 30:5

%d bloggers like this: