Tag Archives: writing

It’s neither here nor there

16 Nov

I have writers block. First off, I’d like to congratulate myself for making it through 9 timely posts before staring blankly at my laptop with no direction in mind. Secondly, I’ve decided to embrace this writers block because I find ignoring something only makes it worse. So, I’m going to continue to have writer’s block while eating skittles and watching HGTV (TLC has nothing good to watch on Wednesdays). I think I’ll have a go at stream of consciousness writing. The Irish novelist, James Joyce, well-known for his stream of consciousness writing, is my inspiration for tonight.

Last night I had the best night ever with my nanny baby Becca. She turned 5 this past Sunday and I told the kids that instead of buying them gifts on their birthdays, they were going to get “experiences” with me instead. Becca and I started at Starbucks (one of our favorite places) and after she told me, “It’s a special day so you can get a latte!” (Becca is helping me watch what I eat too), she asked me if this was the day for her “experiment” with me. Love it. After a latte and a vanilla scone we headed to a place where you can paint pottery. We painted over an hour and had a blast. Spending time with her is like breathing, it’s easy and we have fun no matter what we do or where we go. In general, I think that true love means being able to go anywhere with them. I can picture myself traveling all over the world with the Scottish and at the same time, there’s no one else I’d rather grocery shop with… and not just because he pays for it. haha. I’m so happy today! One of my close friends asked me to be her Maid of Honor. I’m already having a great time helping her with the wedding, and now I get to be even more involved. My goal is to focus on her wedding and stop researching how to get on the TLC show, “Say Yes to the Dress.” Sigh, it’s hard to be me. And it’s hard to be around me. I wish the skittles weren’t gone and I wish I kept more food in my condo. This place is barren!

Do you know what’s really cool? A floating toilet. As soon I finish planning a wedding, I’m going to start house hunting. I’m obsessed with home improvement and property shows. Ever since I bought my place I’ve been super interested in realty. I plan on keeping my condo for years to come, or at least until the market goes up and it’s a better time to sell, but my long-term goal is to pay off some of my student loan debt with the money I make on the sale. And someday the Scottish and I want to own property together. But that’s a long way off! The bank won’t even give him a credit card let alone a mortgage! We’re working on that. I have decided I need to spend more time in my condo because it’s getting a weird stale smell when I’m gone for too long and that’s not cool. I like when it smells like me.

I need a pedicure so badly because I’m pretty sure I could sand a piece of wood with the bottom of my foot. My friends and I have decided that Bradley Cooper is NOT the sexiest man alive. I’m cutting off my home phone line at the condo to save money and it’s making me slightly sad. I can’t wait to go shopping on Black Friday. I hope my turkey and especially my gravy turn out as good as Grandma’s on Thanksgiving. I ate too many skittles and I’ve spoiled my dinner. Good thing there’s no dinner to eat!

Quote: “Welcome, O life! I go to encounter for the millionth time the reality of experience and to forge in the smithy of my soul the uncreated conscience of my race.” James Joyce


Bitten by bugs

9 Nov

I feel so strange. My creative outlet has always been acting, so why has my creative mind been wandering lately? (Does that sound dirty to you too?) I was bitten by the “acting bug” at age 11 while twirling around in our fifth grade class play. I played one of the sisters, and I remember it had to do with a stranger knocking on our door and a lantern. I remember the twirling specifically because it was such a profound experience for me. It was the light bulb, the big moment, and the clicking into place feeling that most people don’t get until AFTER they’ve declared three different majors. I was so young yet I was so certain that I was going to be an actor for the rest of my life.

My Uncle tapes each of us grandkids every year at Christmas and has since I was little, and when we turn 18 we get to watch our videos…all of them. It’s both fun and scary to see my haircuts over the years, my glasses disappearing after I got contacts in 6th grade, and my fat year of high school- junior year was brutal! The whole family gathers around the TV and we all enjoy watching the lively Q and A. As the eldest grandchild, my videos were the first to be watched, and I think it’s an understatement to say it took awhile. My uncle tends to ask the typical questions like who’s your teacher, who are your friends, and what’s your favorite book? But he also asks important questions like, what do you want to be when you grow up? Every Christmas up through my 10th birthday I answered, (and I wish this was a joke but it’s not) that I wanted to be a cashier. I just wanted to beep items across the scanner at the grocery store, a simple yet attainable goal. But starting at age 11 and up, my answer changed to “actress.” That’s pretty early on to decide the rest of your life, I mean, it never even crossed my mind to be a doctor, or a teacher like my mom, or even a ballerina. So when I was recently bitten with the “Writing bug,” a few years ago, I felt taken aback. This didn’t fit into my life plan.

This past year I was forced to quit a show for the first time ever because of my back surgery. PS Never have back surgery. And suddenly I was forced into a theatre hiatus that has turned into a year-long break. And even though you can’t seem my face as I write this, I won’t pretend that I’m OK with that, because I’m not. I’m embarrassed and I feel like a phony. I call myself an actor, and I trained in a conservatory-based program at a great school, but I haven’t been in a show for so long that I’m beginning to feel out of touch. Our professors at college told us we’d be auditioning more than we’d be on stage (which is extra true for me now), and I still attend shows as much as I possibly can because part of being an actor is watching good art as well as participating in it, but I can’t seem to shake this dejected feeling. I explain it to friends and family as being artistically dry. Therefore, I’ve decided to do something about my creative desert and tap into this other passion that has been courting me for the past few years. I’m re-directing my energy and focus to writing, hence the blog (insert happy music here). And it’s not just starting a blog, it’s applying for editing and transcribing jobs to gain more experience. It means reading more books and watching less TV. It means revisiting the novel I started back when I was 23 and fresh out of college. I’ve always thought about pursing publication at some point, but the question is, where to start?
These are my ideas:

A memoir (duh, I like talking about myself)
A book about communication (the key to any successful relationship)
A quote book compilation (I collect them, why not share them?)
A book about the life of nanny (advice from a veteran)
A book about being an artist (it’s a unique life and it’s a poor life)
A children’s book (fairy-tales and animals, what’s not to love?)

I won’t ever stop acting, I can promise that. But sometimes you gotta hit pause in one area to nurture another. The quote this time is from my high school theatre teacher, who told us all one day during a rehearsal, and I paraphrase: “You should only be an actor if it’s in your blood. If you have to do it. Don’t do it if you don’t have to.” Mrs. Potter

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